Hello, everybody. This is fancy 59 letting you know why I disappeared. I just start it this late last winter when my husband decided. I had to get rid of my horses. I had owned horses for 59 Yes, they were my joy, my passion. I reason to escape the world and relax and put my mind at ease even though I Head to thread with disease. Even though we had 28 acres of grass and they meant the world to me.He decided it was time to go, so there was no other talk.Or decision they simply Had to leave. I shall never forget it. It still works rips out my heart. And even as I write this. I have tears running down my cheeks. The only saving grace was there. I found good homes for them. They are now loved and getting the attention that I could no longer give them. He must really hate me to do something so evil to me.
As Spring went into summer, I ran into a new hurdle that is doing me ìn. I had a spot.
Appear on the back of my bicypt and when I went to the dermatologist to check it out for my yearly check. We did a biopsy and it turned out to be malignant melanoma. Surgery was very successful and I was able to keep. It's definitely affected, but it destroyed my chance of keeping Buy m S.A. Check.
Of course, as we all know, one of the many verse factors with many of the current MS. Therapies is risk of skin and different types of Cancel so as soon as I was diagnosed with the skin cancer. I was jerked off my basic or my m. S therapy and was informed I no longer was allowed to be on any other therapy.
It seems that the pharmaceuticals don't allow people with pre-existing bad conditions like. Cancer joint therapy's because it lowers the effectiveness and the outcome of their therapies. And it affects their sales.
Due to that fact, I am now experiencing uncheck the MS and It is causing new and worse. Ning symptoms in my body, I am weak. My strength is leaving me daily. My balance is shot the pieces. My specificity is through the roof and my. Dexterity is down to little to nothing in my hands.
In other words, it seems I'm faìiling ät ä pace that is out of check. So my wonderful husband of 37 years is looking to get me into a skilled nursing facility Where I can rot away with those old people that have no brains And no memories left. Sounds like a wonderful End of my life to mé! Äs my husband puts it because yes, And I quote ĥé ìs simply tired of taking care of me.
That's true, love if I ever Heard it. What happened
To in sickness and In health, I guess His promises and his vows mean absolutely, nothing to him. I never imagined my marriage. Would be like this. I thought I was going to marry my best Friend , instead, I wound up marrying a selfish, Self Centered, naŕscissatic bastaŕd.
I just wanted you to know why I disappeared from sight So I hope everyone is doing great and I wish You Well. May your MS journey be smoother than
mine and lead to a better place. Maybe you also be surrounded by. People who love and cherish you
Fancy59
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Does not sound like fair or correct, in any way shape or form. Even if I don’t know all the circumstances! Do you have anyone close by that could help you navigate through this without letting your husband make all the decisions? I had melanoma (metastatic) before MS and was it never came into play regarding whether or not I would qualify for disease modifying therapies. I’m praying for you to find better solutions and a better support system than you currently have… Maybe call or reach out to local MS support groups in your area? Sending hugs and love to you. Hang in there. I think there must be a better solution!
My heart goes out to you, Fancy59 You have so much on your plate, and so much change in your life right now. I pray that things settle down for you and you can establish a new routine. Your horses are in good hands and you are being taken care of. I look forward to hear more from you. 🙏
i would contact a lawyer that wants to help you for what your husband is doing to you is making the MS worse at least that is HOW I FEEL ...this is major stress and taking your horses...wow..very dirty ...if he was tired of taking care of you ..he should of left you and the horses and started his own new life...i know it is still hard and hurts but to put you thru all of this ...wow still can't believe it ...do you have any family or friends that know the situation and would come to your help in getting some help for he is walking out on you ...wow ..this is terrible ...i feel for you ...i am sorry that i am talking like this but you do need someone in your corner that will stand up for you ...get some help ...a marriage does have its problems but again it is between two people and you do have the right to speak up about what is going on ...here is praying hard for someone to repesent you ...push hard to find someone ...loves and blesssings and many prayers....don't believe you can't get meds because of the cancer...keep fighing ..don't give up ...FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS...
I'm so sorry! What terrible things to have happen to you. 😢 I don't like the sound of being taken off of MS therapies. At the very least, I would think that you could probably be put on something like Copaxone? It sounds like you need a second opinion, but no one is advocating on your behalf.
I wonder if a consultation with someone in elder law might be a good idea. Maybe nothing can be done, but it would be good to know for sure. I pray that things will get better for you. 🙏🙏🙏
I'm with those saying to find a lawyer. Does your county have a Bureau of Aging or Disability? You definitely need someone on your side to help you find the options that are best for you. I am so sorry that you're dealing with all of this.
I’m very sorry to hear all you’ve been through! But I’m glad to hear from you and hope you don’t abandon us! We love and care about you!
I had to get rid of my baby (horse) too. He listened to me just like a dog would. I’ve had him since he was born. I found him a good home too. I’m happy for him since I have become unabled to care for him. Now I have a cat who gets all my attention. He’s spoiled lol.
I too have a selfish, narcissistic, a-hole of a husband. I’m sorry you have to go to a home. I hope you make a ton of good friends and have a better time than you think and are happier than ever!
Oh, this sounds like a refrain that I know all too well, my friend. Unfortunately, it can be so painful to get through. However, I can tell you that my own experience is that in the end it was the absolute best thing that could have happened to me. Yes, I have not been as financially stable as I was when I was married (that’s a whole other story), but I am free from someone who I thought was my best friend and life partner. I am independent, able to do what I want when I want to do it! No one else to cook for, try to keep happy, etc.
I can only hope that somewhere in this mess you will find that same level of happiness. It took me a long time, but the healing process does work. I’m now sending you so much love and many hugs to try to hold you up a bit. Kelly 🥰
Prayers for you & your journey. Sounds like yoy can use all the help that a PT & other therapist can give you. Do a low inflamatory diet . Your neuro shoulnt abandon you
Agree you need an advocate or atty or both to protect your interests & a family member or good friend to walk with you
Most. of all my the mercy & love of God be with you & bring you peace
I had one of those husbands & even though i swore we would be together forever i ran as fast as i could.
I agree with some here that it is time to get a good lawyer. He's not acting like someone who is just tired of taking care of you but someone who is trying to break you. He knows full well that the stress and anxiety will make all your symptoms worse. If he gets you into a facility in no time at all he would be able to convince a judge that you are incompetent to handle your own affairs. Even with the cost of living now, the price of a skilled nursing facility is more than getting an apartment. I'm not sure what I would do, it would break my heart as well as make me angry as hell to be in your position. Take care of you! But you probably need to dump him!
You have definitely been missed on the forum and my heart is breaking for you. Forcing you to let go of your best friends is just despicable. If he were looking out for you at all he would have found someone to help care for them while allowing you to still be with them. We’ve all heard a billion times that attitude and outlook can mean everything when dealing with any disease. I agree with the others….contact agencies in your area that would be able to help…including an attorney….and definitely get with your neuro. If a DMT was working for you something should be made available. I’ll be praying for you ongoing for a resolution that has your best life at the center. Your husband has already left you for all intents and purposes so it’s up to you to advocate for yourself.
Oh, Fancy! I have missed you! You really are in a bad situation. If my husband made me choose between my pets or him, guess what I'd choose. Change your will and leave him out of it. Is there some way you can visit your beautiful horses?
I, too, have had a run-in with cancer. I have a smaller kidney on my left. It makes you think.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree with others, first get a second opinion about the MS therapies. Second, contact a lawyer, or someone from dept of aging or or disabilities to talk about your options.I'm praying for you.🙏🏾
My heart broke reading your post, Fancy59. You are dealing with so much pain, both physical and emotional. I completely agree with the other posts. You need to start looking into legal help and find someone who will advocate for you. And do not give up on the DMT's. You may get very different responses from what you've been told if you do more research and speak to the M.S. A.A. and the National M.S. Society. They may be able to guide you about therapy options and legal assistance. I know you are completely overwhelmed right now, but you can do this. Like so many others who posted, I survived what I thought was going to be "happily ever after" with someone who would always have my back, but later found out none of it was true. Sending thoughts and prayers and hugs to you. We are here for you. 🤗🤗🤗
I am touched And Blessed by all your heart felt reply.Many of you.I never even knew When I was hoping to form the chat room. An active end it every single day. That
Makes me feel even sad and slightly stupider.To have lift the chat room in the wonderful advice.So many others can share with each other included me. Your advice was taken and i'm absorbing you at the present time through a wall of Tears, but in one sense they are Tears of happiness that so many people Are sending.
Me wishes for my happiness wishing me ŵish me a road to find my recovery. And to wish me a better life. I have thought of getting an attorney and don't think my husband because I'm only 65 and I've got good yearstupid man.You really want to take care of me and love me and return to the love I can give him looking back. I realized that I've spent 36 of the 40 years that I've known my husband without the best friend beside me. The person to stick up for me in all situations, to have my back and love me unconditionally, and standing up next to me through sickness and in health. I gave up everything for him.The second year we were married.I quit a promising career and joined him in his business of running lawn care and spraying lawns Four weeds et cetera.
The second year we were married. We bought a book piece of land wooded and totally overgrown. It was an overgrown wooded mess full of giant Briars, honeysuckle and weeds taller than our heads. We'd always wanted to live in this county and we spent the next 4 years. Working side by side clearing the land and working to create our dream home on the property. It was so rough at 1 time we had every vehicle. We owned stuck in the mud in different places. On the hill road we were trying to put in to our home With all the grills on the vehicles, We're broken off because of the trees sticking out of the mud and breaking the them off. It was an unbelievable experience, especially when you realize we spent Almost a year living in a 27 foot camper Because we had to sell the house.I had purchased just before we were married.In order to have the money to start working on our new property and home. He did not bring any financial support into the marriage.Whatsoever it was all me and then we borrowed money from my parents to build the house. If I would have known what was to come by the second year we were marrwe fought the entire first year. Screaming at each other. Discuss gone with the loving man. I thought of Married and in his place became this monster who had his way. No matter what. Scream that me constantly and never, ever give me a compliment and very seldom told me he loved me. We went through various marriage counselors. And it was the second one we had was the best one we ever had, but she took a job to work for the government and we lost her. She told me he had classic symptoms of a child of alcoholic parents and he was afraid of Intimacy because he never saw his parents be intimate with each other. I guess they spent all their time being intimate with their alcohol bottles and never treated each other as husband and wife. So I spent the last 37 years in a broken and totally disallusioned relatioship. I was a good little catholic girl who thought divorce was out of the question. Besides the man was the first and only man I ever loved. He swept me off my feet and treated me so d** good the first 3.5 years we were together. I loved the good looking jerk with all my heart. Only he didnot know how to or didn't want to bother to return that love.
I kept thinking it would get better if only I was a better wife or better looking but it never got better and then our sons came along. Once they came I thought that would hejp to bond us and bring back the love we first felt. But that only helped in small spurts but didn't last. I, then became determined that NO one else was going tò raise my sons. So I stayed and raised three wonderful sons any Mom would be so very proud to call her own. Then I became sick with MS..
I left him twice. The first time after he threatened to hit me. It took about almost 2 monthes but he gradually wooed me back bÿ being the man I fell in lòve with. He was kind he was loving and he was everything that drew me to him in the first place.
I didn't stand a chance. How could have been so stupid. The second time I left him was after he calls me stupid. My MS had advanced at that time and living alone simply didn't work. I needed someone to be there when I fell to pick me up ŵhen I hit hard and I had no one better than him to do so. My parent were dead and my siblìngs and I were not close fo years. So I am stuck and now I'm paying the price. I should hav divorced him year 2 of our marriage. They say hind sight is 20/20. And in this I TOTALLY agree. If not for my sons and sòme good times, Ì look back and see 36 years filled way to often with misery instead of the joy marriage and building a life should be overflowing with. Thanks again for all your suggestions and prayers and good wishes. They mean so much more than you can ever imagine.
I'll try that to stay stranger. Sharing my joys and my struggles truly do help to lighten the burden. Thank-you with all my heart and soul.💓💓💓
Dearest Fancy 59, my heart is aching as I read your post. I will pray wellness for your body and for your heart, and also for an awakening in your husband spirit for transformation. I don’t know if you have family members who can assist you with your needs? Serenity and peace is so important for us and you are wonderful and kind and deserve to be happy. Love and my embrace from afar, praying things will work out for you. Blessings and Love ❤️. NeeC
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