feeling numb

[RedBookWorm]

I am a mother of 3 kids and a wife. been diagnosed in March. a roller-coaster of being off work from my job to finding another job that I can work with no touching my left side. my kids worry whenever I have an off day. I just can't keep up with my emotions most days. I try to keep a positive attitude for everyone so they have a normal life.

[twooldcrows]

it is hard but maybe you could have a family day of talking about it as much as your children can understand and they also have books for children to help them cope with it ...good luck and much love and happiness for all of the family...need to talk to the MS society about what is going on and i bet they can help ....love to all of you ...

[Amore55 in reply to twooldcrows]

What good advice!

[jcol2436-]

MS and motherhood heck family in general is just a special omg. Hang in the there and give yourself all the grace in the world. Hopefully they'll from you how to do that, and do it for you as well. What helped me the most was a mood stabilizer med. I was failing epically for a while.

Your stronger than what you can imagine🧡

[NorasMom]

Your kids will accept it when you do. I didn't have a diagnosis for many years, but mine grew up knowing that something was wrong with Mum. They understood that I couldn't run and play with them, but I was good for cuddles, reading them stories, and watching them play. I had to adapt a lot of activities over the years, but it was just our normal. Once you get used to all this, your life should fall into place.

If you're having a hard time with it, you might want to check into some counseling for yourself and possibly with the whole family. As long as you see it as a major crisis. so will your household. It takes time, particularly when you're dealing with a job change, kids, and a spouse. In the meantime, vent to us here. We've all been there.

[Curlygoats]

It's OK and It will be OK.

You need to accept a change and find a way to make the best of it. There are some great resources for talking to your kids. I remember talking to my son and you will find that kids are pretty resilient. The more information you give them the more power they will feel they have. Knowledge is power.

Normal is different for everyone, so keeping things normal won't do anyone any good. Be open, your kids can adjust easier than you think and the new normal will be good too.

There are a lot of things you can do. You are only limited by yourself. Remember your emotions are part of you, you are mourning your perceived loss. That is normal, don't be afraid of your emotions. This will give you a great opportunity to show your kids that is it OK to show your emotions. You can teach them , that life is not always perfect and that empathy is a great trait.

[irhunter]

I received my official diagnosis in March. SPMS…. I went at least 20 yrs, in an extremely stressful career (Border Patrol) with MS BUT mis diagnosed! I just fought the symptoms as they happened and found ways around them. After retiring, I finally had time to ‘get my back fixed’…. SURPRISE… MS!

Granted, I apparently have had lots of luck. As I’m still doing my side hustle, a small ranch, but full time now.

So you’re not alone BUT you can make the best of your circumstances. We are lucky to have the internet and massive amounts of information and also support forums like this.

[mrsmike9 in reply to irhunter]

BUT, be careful about the sites you look into. Some aren't accurate and can send you into a spiral. Hospital sites and MS sites are good. Just remember that everyone is different. Sure, there are similar issues but still different.

[StacyHayward]

I was diagnosed before my son was born, so it’s always been part of his life. I found being open and honest with him has helped the most.

And he sees me take pills, has helped with shots, and knows when I need to rest.

You didn’t mention the age of your kids, but share the truth with them and try to help them with their worries. You may find it helps you as well.

[Goldilockssearching]

My boys were 11 & 13 when dx. Now just shy of 18 & 20. Open & honest from the beginning bc they were there for some scary times (losing ability to walk due to overheating) prior to having an official answer. They also had their lives upended. They do anything to help make things easier for me. Guilt? Yes. Do they have their moments? We all do! I also have a bond w both of them I haven’t witnessed between other kids their ages & their parents. ln some ways they had to grow up quick and are caring, capable & self sufficient young men because of it.

[NorasMom in reply to Goldilockssearching]

I've had this with my two, also. When the kids are accustomed to seeing someone they're close to having trouble with everyday life, when they can really SEE that you're not faking it, then they develop a stronger sense of empathy and compassion for others. Mine will both tell you that they hate people in general, yet they have excellent skills when it comes to dealing with the disabled and elderly.

[Goldilockssearching in reply to NorasMom]

Mine as well & they privately get frustrated? Upset? When people don’t understand. They see how unfriendly the world is to those who have mobility issues.

[Mollyabigail]

I am no help. My boys were 35 and 37 when I was diagnosed a few years ago. Please be kind to yourself. It is life changing. It 'is' a roller coaster at first. Depending on their ages, you might look into the book twooldcrows mentioned. If they are old enough, discuss it and let them ask questions. I am still learning - life goes on, just differently. Gentle blessings as you adjust to this new path you are on. 🙏

[kdali]

Welcome! I'm going to echo counseling and allowing time to grieve.