Cognitive impairment : Does anyone else... - My MSAA Community

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Cognitive impairment

bandicoot1987 profile image
12 Replies

Does anyone else with MS suffer with cognitive issues?

Anyone feel like their common sense is being stripped away?

Easily confused?

My partner has changed drastically over these last couple years, he gets lost when driving to locations he visits weekly as he has lost all sense of direction.

His memory has definitely deteriorated

The ability to talk has evaded him completely, he can’t speak to me as he says he never knows how to string a sentence together so we have no communication in our relationship anymore

He has trouble with speech anyway and has done for 4 years, he has had serious depression as well for around 8 years, and diagnosed with ms 8 years ago

It’s like he’s incapable of thinking for himself anymore, he’s very easily confused, gets things wrong a lot of the time or just in general does things back to front, there is a huge lack of concentration on his part, and very little interest in activities - combined with a very low mood and a man only capable of showing his angry side this is becoming rather difficult to live with 😕

His personality has changed towards me, I can’t tell him if he’s done anything wrong or made a mistake because he shuts down like a teenager and gets snappy at me, so am I supposed to constantly pick up the pieces and clean up the mess when he does just to try and keep his mood level - I feel like there’s too much pressure being out on me trying to look after him when he’s so ignorant of my feelings and won’t do anything to help himself of me

I’m losing my relationship and my partner really isn’t bothered, I’ve tried so much over these last 12 years, I’m only 34, I don’t want him to face any of this alone but he’s breaking me, I’ve poured my heart out almost daily and explained how I feel and he just sits there silent, completely empty with nothing to say.

Please help 🙏🏼 has anyone else experienced this? Xx

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bandicoot1987 profile image
bandicoot1987
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12 Replies
jimeka profile image
jimeka

As with all ms sufferers, we all experience different symptoms at different times, levels of deterioration, and of course cognitive problems. I have no magic cure for you or anyone else I wish I did. We all handle each situation differently, falalalala has a great philosophy ‘ use it or loose it’ , for cognitive issues lots of us play brain games, anything to exercise the brain to keep it going. I hope that you can work things out with your partner, but if he won’t change or even try, to take your emotions and thoughts in to consideration, then maybe as you are only 34, you should maybe take into consideration what you want from life. We only come this way once. Blessings Jimeka 🤗

Kenu profile image
Kenu

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🐾🐾👍🏼😉

StacyHayward profile image
StacyHayward

I’ve had success with aricept. It’s not MS approved and studies say it won’t help with MS, but for me it has. It’s not perfect but makes a big difference. I also noticed cognitive issues are worse when I’m tired to I try to plan things when I’m most alert.

BettysMom profile image
BettysMom

It's hard to say how much of his impairment is secondary to the depression, however it is very likely that he is suffering from dementia. He needs to be evaluated by a neurologist. It is not likely that he will ever get significantly better, but it is very likely that his impairment will continue to progress. You need to make plans to get your life back.

ahrogers profile image
ahrogers in reply toBettysMom

I was also thinking he could have some type of dementia as well as MS.Seeing the neurologist together to make sure they know everything and can evaluate and treat the dementia and depression as best they can.

I hope you get individual counseling as well. It will likely get to a point you cannot safely manage him at home and you need to be able to deal with those thoughts/emotions as well.

JSSimp profile image
JSSimp

Will keep you all in prayer🙏🏾

goatgal profile image
goatgal

Given what you little write here, it is hard to make concrete suggestions, so mine will be general. First of all, you need to take care of yourself, physically and mentally. If you have no interests beyond the care for your partner, you should find them: you describe a drowning man/sinking ship. If you do nothing, you will both go down. As you are in the UK, I don't know what social services and medical care options are available, but you would be well served in discovering what help may be available. From the information given, it sounds as if your partner is deep in depression and unable to pull himself out. He needs professional help. This is not likely to be something you alone can do. If he does not have a medical team, he needs one, and if you do not have help to deal with his problems, you need to locate it. There's not much we can do for you long distance except admire the love and compassion you have for your partner and your courage in attempting to help..

NorasMom profile image
NorasMom

I want to agree with what everyone has said, but as a happily-single-now woman I also want to add that sometimes you need to step back from the happily-ever-after and 'til-death-us-do-part and look at what's really happening in your life. You've spent 2/3 of your marriage trying to deal with issues that are beyond your scope. Whether he's developed early-onset dementia or is just being completely uncooperative as he wallows in his depression, there's not a whole lot more that you can do for him on your own.

Round up a medical team. Have him checked for depression and brain damage. Be open with his doctors about his mental decline. It will be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but it may be time to put him in a care home and get on with your life.

bandicoot1987 profile image
bandicoot1987 in reply toNorasMom

Putting my 38 year old fiancé in a care home is a bit over the top I’m afraid 😳 that is certainly not necessary nor an option

He needs help not neglecting at probably the hardest time if his life

nes78 profile image
nes78

was dg. at 23 and on disability at 27 because of serious cognitive issues and fatigue. look totally fine. had just graduated college. didn't realize i couldn't think until i was fired. it's totally real and for me none of the meds for cognitive issues helped at all. it's beyond cogfog for me - i don't use that term - it's more like cognitive dementia. i'm 43 now - my partner handles all my bills and medical stuff and we're don't even live together. and i pass as fine. everything takes me longer.

Ellmom profile image
Ellmom

Bandicoot1987 my heart breaks for you 🤗 Yes have him go for cognitive therapy. Also you should get some help for yourself as far as support groups for spouses & partners of ms patients. Men generally do not make good patients of any kind as we all know. If you are only 34 I can only imagine he's young also and I'm sure that he knows of his cognitive & maybe other issues and because he has no control over them he's beyond furious.

hopeandgrace profile image
hopeandgrace

So sorry to hear. No advice. But lifting up a prayer for you now. 🙏🏼

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