Attitude

[Sandydemop]

Did you ever hear the phrase (from a play) "Your arms too short to box with G-d"? Well i feel like i've been trying to box anyway. Yes, no doubt I have a lot to be grateful for. But i still want what I don't have. A body that does what i tell it to do. Walk easily, put my hair up in a ponytail, Not feel like i'm made of lead on a humid day. Is that really too much to ask?

[twooldcrows]

no i feel that way also...so do others but it is how we find a way to do something to look around what we don't have anymore ...i have to look forward or i wouldn't do anything ...i just push and find something to make me happy or i should say keep my happier....love and happiness is what it is ...

[Sandydemop in reply to twooldcrows]

Thanks @twooldcrows

[jimeka]

First of all Sandy, a big hug 🤗. Secondly, in you there is a new you that’s waiting to burst out. You might not like the new you but the secret is to accept it and move forward. Life is too short to sit and look back. This is how it is, make the most of what you still have. Find something every day that makes you smile. 😊, and come here and vent, scream, as much as you like. Ms likes to put you in a life of uncertainty, never knowing what will happen next, that is why you have to grab what is good about each day. Tomorrow never comes, today is a gift. 👍 💜

[falalalala in reply to jimeka]

You are absolutely right!

[Sandydemop in reply to falalalala]

Thanks @falalalala

[Sandydemop in reply to jimeka]

Thanks @jimeka

[Dudeebutt]

Hugs to you, first off. I feel you. I have been on that path.

[Sandydemop in reply to Dudeebutt]

Thanks @dudeebutt

[rjoneslaw]

No I feel that way as well.

I just recently hit my breaking point on May 19 , 2021, as u know I was working out on a regular basis activity finding things to do , but now I have done absolutely nothing. I get up in the morning with a plan to do something and I just abandon that plan and start watching things I recorded.

I talked to my pain management dr today and he was shocked to hear this from me. No I’m not depressed. I just slammed into a walk and I can’t peel myself off of it. I told him I couldn’t explain what I was feeling so he suggested I talk to a psychologist, but that will not happen. You ask why not that is is a good idea. Well I don’t believe in telling someone I don’t know anything about me that could come back on me or used against me not even my family.

Growing up anything you said was thrown back at you in attempt to hurt you. So as child I learned never give up information that can be used against me. So my feelings and thoughts wer closely held.

Plus as a lawyer I know that the records from someone like a psychologist or someone you talk to can be obtained, so no thank you my secrets and problems are mine securely tucked away with me. I’ll just give up enough information just to appease anyone like that.

When I was younger( I had just graduated college) I decided I would talk to someone. Where I went they felt it would be best if I talked to the director because of how I answered the intake questions. Well during the sessions I became bored and I decided it would be fun to toy with the person. I always asked open ended questions I knew they couldn’t answer. After becoming bored from doing that I stopped going.

So I’m off to peel myself off the wall.

I did talk to the day rehab clinic so I will start in August so I’ll let you know how that goes when I dm you.

Yes I know we will talk later

[jimeka in reply to rjoneslaw]

rjoneslaw i am so sorry that you feel like that. Big hug 🤗 x

[rjoneslaw in reply to jimeka]

Thanks ur the best

[Sandydemop]

Looking forward to hearing from you. I hope you can get out of your rut soonest.