Good Morning my beloved ms family. As always I hope “YOU” are well and slept calmly last night. As usual I woke up to go to the toilet (bathroom) and sleep avoided me after that. Pretty standard but happily no pain last night, which is a very good thing. I have no medicine in the house anymore, so no more panicking trips to the ER, when I overdose. I always felt bad about that, wasting the paramedics and nurses time. I knew there was nothing they could do for me and they could help somebody else, who needed it more than me. Guilt, I guess “YOU” might call it guilt. Something that we as ms people go through a lot during our lifelong journey. I do not think there is much we can do about that. Learn to accept it, learn to ease the burden we put on others. Do our best and more to lessen that burden. Talk here, people understand. “YOU” are virtual, so “YOU” are really not a burden. I think this online support group is very useful. It is possible to say things online that perhaps “YOU” would not say or be able to say face to face. Of course “YOU” should be careful either way . I am very lucky She Who Must be Obeyed was what I needed, exactly when I needed it and our relationship has worked out very well. I am not suggesting that is perfect for everybody, but it might be an option for “YOU”, one day.
There is a lot of guilt with ms. We may feel that we are continually taking and giving so very little. Especially when first diagnosed (Dx’d) or even later. This I feel is normal. This is what we go through. Relax be a little bit more gentle with yourself. Continually be upset at yourself does “YOU” no good, and it makes life harder for those around “YOU”. Be gentle, towards them, towards yourself. “YOU” are not the enemy, I do not think ms is even the enemy. Downgrade it, make it an annoying sometimes frustrating inconvenience. I have said before, choose your words carefully. Call your ms a hassle, not a demon that “YOU” must face and fight everyday. That is a battle that “YOU” and I can not win. I think it is far too big, but it is an annoying inconvenience that I can manage. I cannot fight and struggle against my bladder, but I can wear protective underwear and stop embarrassing events. I can learn where the bathrooms are at places I frequent. I can learn to tame my pride and warn them at the gym that I may have an overheating issue. I can learn the best place to lean so that I am under the fan. There are so many different things that “YOU” can learn to make your life easier when “YOU” pay attention to yourself and your surroundings. Go out of your way to find these. I will let “YOU” in on a secret. This is a really good and easy way to give yourself power and ease any perceived burden that “YOU” may feel “YOU” have on people. Imagine that “YOU” need a toilet (bathroom) but “YOU” know exactly where it is nobody has to search for it. “YOU” are wearing your protective underwear, so there is no panic. “YOU” have planned and managed this. ms is not an enemy, “YOU” are not a burden , and “YOU” feel good within yourself because “YOU” are in control. Now take this and apply it to other parts of your life.
Do not look at what “YOU” can no longer do. Look at ways that “OU” can do, what “YOU” want to do. Think relax, create a plan and do it. Make your life bearable, easier, HAPPY. I have not nagged “YOU” about disease-Modifying Therapy (DMT) today. I will just say SubQ shots ( under the skin) are mush easier when “YOU” inject directly into fat. Use your buttocks(butt arse ass) it is much easier.
Royce (your ms writer and brother)
this illness is a nuisance, BUT it never to much for you to manage
