Fad diet

[TexasLawman]

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TRACTOR SUPPLY..

Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my loyal livestock guard dog and was in the checkout, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tractor Supply.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of things to say.

Forward this now, (especially) to all your mature friends...... it will be their laugh for the day. ( This did not really happen to me, I hope this brought you smiles and laughter! 🐶🐾)

[2littletime]

This is one of your best! I will definitely forward this one...thanks a bunch for the laughs. Hahahaha

[rjoneslaw]

I think u have brain fog u told this one b4

[Amore55 in reply to rjoneslaw]

So what?

[rjoneslaw in reply to Amore55]

what is that supposed to mean?

[Amore55 in reply to rjoneslaw]

I mean, who cares, it is still funny!

[rjoneslaw in reply to Amore55]

yes it's still funny.

I like his humor but at the same time I have to give him a hard time as well

[TexasLawman in reply to rjoneslaw]

And I love ya for it!!

[Amore55 in reply to rjoneslaw]

Yes, I get it. He needs it! Lol!

[Kenu]

Great one 🙏😆😂🤣 Ken 🐾🐾

[leking1]

Good One!

[Amore55]

Oh my gosh! Great one, maybe your best!

[KarenUSA]

Ha Ha. Definitely worth forwarding.

[Midgey_Midge06]

We went to Academy sports store with my service dog around Christmas time and one of the employees asked "is that your dog?" and my man came back with " no it's a chicken on a string".

Totally have to watch what u say to people that love to talk cuz it started a whole in depth convo about dogs vs chickens!

[Hidden in reply to Midgey_Midge06]

Smile 😊

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Midgey_Midge06]

It would have been hilarious if the dog said that! Keep Smiling

[Midgey_Midge06 in reply to carolek572]

Oh ya! If she cuda quacked! May have to teach her!

[Kitsey]

Thanks for the laugh!!