I don't want to adult anymore: Good... - My MSAA Community

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I don't want to adult anymore

dearydear57 profile image

Good evening everyone. I don't want to adult anymore. As I sit here working on yet another Christmas gift, and look at the stack I have yet to finish, I realize that I really am not in the holiday spirit this year. My husband has noticed it but my children haven't. And I can't really explain to him why I feel so blah this year. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I start decorating the day after Thanksgiving and don't take anything down until after 12th Night in January. This year, it took a fair amount of prodding by my husband before I would even consent to get the decorations out of the attic. Usually, by now, I have completed several craft projects to give as gifts. I have given handmade angels and ornaments to family and friends for close to 30 years now and this year will be no different. I just need to get my arse in gear and finish the half done projects, and I am running out of time to do them. I know this message is long, but I just feel the need for a little moral support from people like me; people dealing with the MS monster day in and day out. I don't think I have ever gotten this down in the 24 years I have dealt with the ups and downs of the condition.

29 Replies

You are in good company here. There are many of us who feel as though we must try to keep up traditions we’ve always enjoyed, but now simply don’t have the energy for.

It sounds as though this may go a little deeper than MS fatigue. Have you informed your doctor of your feelings? It may be a good idea to be evaluated for depression.

I hope you don’t accept the weight of feeling guilty for not doing so much. That’s quite a lot you’ve been doing. I pray you can find ways of enjoying these holidays without the pressure.

CalfeeChick profile image
CalfeeChickCommunityAmbassador in reply to greaterexp

So true, tired of trying to keep up..

Morning from the cold U.K. Don’t put yourself under so much pressure, just do what you feel you can do. Christmas comes quicker every year, especially as they start advertising it in shops in July. Last year I had a good clear out, all my children have got lives and homes of their own, so this year I thought that after 33 years it was going to be a quiet one. I dreaded it, just my hubby and I looking at each other with our party hats on. We live in a big Georgian house that now it is empty of all children, it echos and it’s cold. But then out of the blue my eldest son said, that he would like to have everyone round for Christmas dinner so if he provided the turkey etc would I provide the table , so guess what, they are all coming over. So last Sunday the grandchildren put the tree up, decorated. Until the ms, I was like you doing crafts for Christmas 🎄 but this year, not a thing, I can’t get motivated, Everyone was getting money in a card. Then I remembered Amazon, and hey presto I actually have presents under the tree. No hassle, but unfortunately I still have to wrap them. So don’t beat yourself up, it’s ms normal, don’t wear yourself out, it’s one day, be well enough to enjoy it. Let us know how you get on, Merry blessed Christmas Jimeka 🎄

Peruzzot profile image
Peruzzot in reply to jimeka

It's hard to get into the Christmas spirit when the stores start pushing it before Halloween. I refuse to do anything for Christmas until after thanksgiving.

jimeka profile image
jimeka in reply to Peruzzot

I don’t start thinking about Christmas until we have had bonfire night which is November 5th. 🎄 🎅🏻

This too shall pass. Let's just hope the melancholy leaves before Christmas does. I am feeling the same way. 😊

CalfeeChick profile image

I can relate to your feelings, grand kids all getting cards with $$ in them. No energy or Christmas spirit. too darn tired. We have both been down for almost a week with bad cold/flu symptoms. Do what you can and encourage the older kids to do what they can for you. You put in your rime, now it's time for them to do for you.

Call me "So Tired!"

Hi there I love Christmas I use to have so many decorations out it was Christmas all over the place. But now I have a fake tree and I am lucky that is out. I finally got my sun to bring it down stairs and it sat in the box full for a week. I finally got my husband to open the box I took out the six pieces it together. Yeah! Well my husband moved it but not where it had to be. To make this short my son came home you see my son works full time, goes to colleges and lives about 80miles from home. He had come home from work And was supposed to leave and go back to school. Well that never happened I did something I don’t like doing. I put a guilt trip on him saying your father won’t put the tree on the table can you And so he did I love that boy. So what do I have up for Christmas 🎄 I have my tree with lights on it and that is all oh yea the tree skirt I had quilted it years ago. It looks sad around here. But I do have my tree 🌲 up. So don’t worry about all that stuff you do know they make Christmas bags you can put gifts in them just get tissue paper.

Those are good fall all the big stuff.

Good luck to you don’t work so hard and enjoy the holidays

Peruzzot profile image
Peruzzot in reply to ssdw1958

You're farther along than me. I've managed to pull 2 figurines out of the box and put up on shelves. That's all I've done. Maybe I'll get 2 more out this weekend...But only maybe.

ssdw1958 profile image
ssdw1958 in reply to Peruzzot

I forgot to tell you I have a snow globe out. But I must tell you I took that out about 5 years ago and I never put it away. That way I have something out all the time. Now that’s pretty sad. 🌲

It is much different for me. I used to dread Christmas. This year is much different. It is only my first Christmas with ms, so maybe it will change over time, but I look forward to my oldest daughter coming to my house with her husband and my grandchildren. Maybe it is the uncertainty of what the future holds in store, but I will make the most of this Christmas.

Jesmcd2 profile image

This will be my 1st Christmas alone in along time dearydear57 and I'm actually kinda looking forward to it☺️ I'm not sure why.

I have decorated for when my angel monsters decide to bless me with there presents.😒 But now I realize that I love the decorations!☺️

Do for you my friend! And be happy! 🤗💕


Thank you all for the kind supportive words! It isn't often that I get this way and I especially hate that is during the holiday season. But, with kind friends like y'all, I know I can openly talk about my ups and downs and don't have to worry about being judged.

Jesmcd2 profile image
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador in reply to dearydear57

Nope!!! I say do what you want to! dearydear57 and if you want the last cookie! Then eat it!🤗💕


Coming here helps us realize that we aren't alone in our feelings. Not one decoration would have been put up this year, except that my husband is a twin of Clark Griswold. (I even call him "Sparky" around Christmas time.

It's okay to enjoy what others do this season. Let others decorate and cook. Your contribution need only be a grateful, approving smile.

You're not the only one having a hard time getting into the spirit. Advertising started before Halloween and I just lack the energy. I've barely pulled anything out...only 2 figurines so far. Hang in there it'll get better. Just pace yourself and don't overdue it. Do what you can and forget the rest.

Tis the Season blues.. When I get to feeling this way, I realize alot of my attitude is a or can be, a choice that I do have control over... I try to conciously pick my mood. Doesn't always work, however sounds plausible in theory.

Hang in there and perhaps start with some cheery music. Happy holidays to you and yours!

Ok guys we can think in a different manner if we don’t put all our Christmas 🎄 and other holiday stuff out just think we don’t have to put it away.

LOL 😂 because if you read all the posts on here we sound pretty pitiful.

And I know we are not that’s just this MS talking I know this may sound crazy but I’ve watched the Christmas kids shows and that kind of puts me in a good place and Christmas music is a great place to get in the mood.


THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS what was that from????


I am the same way. It is exhausting to do what I have done in the past. So, for the last few years-I put up my ceramic tree, and nativity set. Actually, I left it up last year to let Christmas be in my heart all year long.

I just get exhausted.


I have to confess that I listen to Christmas music all year long and watch The Muppet's Christmas Carol in July. ;-)

Do what you can, not what you USED to do! Our bodies have changed, and MS fatigue affects many of us, including me! I used to

climb up on the roof and hang lights all over, now I have to choose the day or time if I will get the 2 step kitchen stool to change a light bulb. I've pushed myself all my life, and it was very hard to let it go,

and accept that I have limits...but I promise that you will be happier and more rested if you can do it. Have a Blessed and wonderful Holiday season.

Remember, you do this in love!! The love that our Lord Jesus Christ taught us. Prayers 🙏🙏 to you. You are a special person.

Sometimes, we need to let go of the hustle and bustle and take care of ourselves. My hubby retired yesterday so that has been an added stress and blessing at the same time this year. I did what I could as far as Christmas but I have to pace myself or I will be a source of stress for the rest of my family. I try to balance the giving and receiving of help.

Traditionally, we host our grandchildren, 2 at a time and take them to NYC for the day. This year I had my daughter come with us and we scheduled a shorter day for me.

carolek572 profile image

dearydear57 We all do our best this time of year. I have family who is very sympathetic to me and my limitations, and I love them dearly for this. I wish that I could do more, but I accept that I cannot.


Merry Christmas,

Carole :-D

Dearydear57, it is easy to get down and we all feel like we want to give up being adults sometimes, but it sounds as if you have been awesome in making everyone else’s Christmas wonderful so make one of those angels for yourself this year. You deserve it.

Remember what Christmas is really about, not getting or giving presents, MS or not, you are a blessing from God to your family and friends

For me, "Up or down" just "Carry on" however I can - like you did!

I get it. It's nice to know we're not alone, isn't it? Since my kids have grown I don't do any decorations at all. It's just too hard and I'm not in the mood. My husband and I wrapped the gifts yesterday so I can gratefully say that I'm all done. (Of course shopping was via Amazon...) And yes, I'm already on depression meds and have been for years.

Yes, mrsmike, it is very nice to know we are not alone. For the first several years after my diagnosis, I felt like I was. The good news is, after gorging myself on Christmas movies all weekend and Christmas music today, I have managed to finish this year's decorations (Penguins made out of blown lightbulb), have only one hat left to make, and just have to put the angels together. By burying myself in all things Christmas, I have been able to mostly pull myself out on my funk, And with only one week to go, it's probably a good thing I did! ANd yes, I have also been on depression meds for many, many years.

PLPZ profile image
PLPZ in reply to dearydear57

Thank you all for your Christmas Storys. I am glad that our way of seeing our worlds has not taken a 100% toll on the ability to look at things in a silly-reality. Reading your posts has been some of the greatest laughs Ive had for a while!

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