MS at it’s finest—a divorce: My heart... - My MSAA Community

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MS at it’s finest—a divorce

Amore55
Amore55

My heart hurts so bad. I feel like it has simply shattered into a million pieces. I love my husband more than life itself and yet each day when the mailman comes I pray those damn divorce decree papers will not be there. So far, so good. We tell each other about ten times a day I love you, we kiss, we have fun and yet he says he is suffocating from me. He is truly the finest man I have ever known. I don’t know how to live without him. He says we will see each other everyday. We are truly best friends. But we all know that we both have to move forward, not stagnate in our lives. Any wise words are so truly welcome. Love, Kelly xx

21 Replies
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I meant to say he is suffocating from MS!! Kelly

Do you think it’s time to have the talk so you don’t suffer when you go get the mail? Has he said I want out? Don’t wish anything in existence that you don’t want.

💔wishing u healing ❤️

Hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗

Wow, hugs to you Kelly. But it’s ok to suffocate you, by seeing and hurting you everyday, as long as he gets what he needs from you in these daily visits?

Nope. It’s not ok. You’ll get to where you can say no.

Come back when you have a ring and want to marry me with my MS next time around because I’m worth suffocating for, would be my response 😁

greaterexp
greaterexpCommunityAmbassador

Kelly, is he absolutely certain that he wouldn’t go to a good counselor with you and find ways to deal with his “suffocation?” If he truly loves you, but is too heavily burdened by the MS you suffer with, aren’t there ways of relieving that for the most part?

Focus on the Family has some great resources and creative people, and there are other folks who may help IF your husband is willing.

I would hate to see you discard the relationship, especially since you share children together, but there may come a time when more distance is healthier for you both if he insists that wants out of the marriage.

I hope and pray for the best for you both.

Fancy1959
Fancy1959CommunityAmbassador

Oh Kelly, my heart hurts for you. I hate to see you in this situation. I can't understand how a man says he wants a divorce and then uses you like he is. To me it sounds as if he wants less responsibility from you and breathing room away from you yet he lead you on day after day telling you he loves you and kissing you. He's ripping you in two! 💔 Tell me how I can help because again my heart is bleeding for you. Life can be so cruel sometimes when you least expect it. I hate that this cruelty has rained down upon you!

I'm sending you lots of hugs! I'm thinking about you more than you would ever understand. Please remember, the next time this all gets to be too much know that I'm sitting on your shoulder supporting you. 💕Fancy. 💕

I’m so sorry for your pain Kelly. I don’t understand how a man or woman could walk away from someone they love when they’re needed the most.

I think you are right on point saying you need to just move on with your life. I know it sounds easy to someone who is not going thru your situation but please try and maybe it will help you heal.

My prayers and love goes out to you Kelly.

You know I’m always available if you need me just send me a message.

Love to you my friend😇😇😇

Donnie

I am sorry. My wife decided to end our long marriage when MS started to affect me. She had a difficult time being a cops wife for many years. I don't think it ever got better for her, but she learned to hide it. It can't be easy for a spouse of a law enforcement officer know that when they leave for work, they may not be coming home. Add that the MS and her Lupus I guess it was too much. We have kids together so we have to talk, but I still love her though we have been apart 8 years. It is hard for me to see her and talk to her even if it is about our sons. I know I would be able to handle seeing her everyday. I don't know how you do it.

My love

Aaron

What I would do: would be to letting him see me going on with life. I would go somewhere for a few days with friends, when I saw him again, I would tell him how much fun I had, even if I didn’t. I would be mysterious, hard to get, tell him I think seeing each other so much was keeping us from moving on. I would pretend that I was moving on, I think you would find that doing some of these sort of things would enable you to move on or make him feel life without your love. Absence does make the heart fonder. Build a life for yourself would be a start. Don’t live for him, live for you. It gets easier over time.

Amore55
Amore55 in reply to AngieRowe

Angie, I LOVE your advice! Thank you, I think you nailed it on the head. Love, Kelly

Chameleon3
Chameleon3 in reply to AngieRowe

I agree. Good advice

Peruzzot
Peruzzot in reply to AngieRowe

This is great advice. You can't live your life for other people. Neither you nor the person your living for will appreciate the sacrifice you've made.

great advice. Maybe you need to learn to live apart before you can truly enjoy each other company all the time.

Kelly,

My heart aches for you.

Please be strong, and life does go on.

Everyone that has replied to you have offered really good advice.

Just take it one day at a time and don't lose hope,

Carole

Kelley sweety, my heart goes out to u!😍 & Many Prayers🙏& Love💔💗💚💙 All Great Advice for ya too here!---Jazz🌹💜

Lots of hugs for you. I hope it gets better you. Lots of great advice has been given already. I hope it helps.

I’m so sorry you are hurting Kelly. The stress of what you are going through is not good for your health. As others have said, take one day at a time and start to build a life for you! You can do this and we will cheer you on!

Hi Kelly,divorced my wife of 23yrs of marrage.Unfortunately she was an abusive alcoholic I had no choice I had to get out of she would have drank herself to death or kill me on one of her benders. ..I loved her so much with two kids(one boy,he is 34 now and my step daughterof 41)..If you two have a year chance of spending a liftime..get a good counselor and smell the roses..I would never do it again..Just the fact of no human touch in the last 10 to 15 yrs it sucks....

I don't "own" any wise words but I am truly sorry.

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