G'day I hope your nights sleep was good and your day is going well.
I feel today you may be in need of a slight explanation.
Twenty years ago I went to my first ever ms group meeting, I was 29 very newly diagnosed ad quite frankly terrified. I went into the lunch and saw a room full of ladies in wheelchairs, the NmsS info at the time had wheelchair people on the covers of all their information.
How do you think a young married pilot would feel, especially calm when the Neuro gives him 3 brochures about medicine all involving needles. Let me say I have an irrational fear of needles. Needlephonic, still am but a little less so now, not much just a little less. Anyway this lunch and the brochures scared me, is this what my future holds?
twenty, sorry 19 years later, I still walk I may not run or drive but these things are really not that important to me. My fear was a little unjustified it turn out. My wife of the time immediately divorced me I changed countries and was put on Interferon Beta1B. I really had no choice, my Grandmother and Mother said so, I was at their houses at the time.
From their I started to learn everything I could about this illness. I and I stress I found that nobody seemed to pinpoint a cause, So it was ME doing it to ME, not something doing it to me. My research found that going into battle with my suit of armor was not really going to work for me. I needed to do this carefully, plan a strategy and make changes as need be. I needed to learn to be a master manipulator and manager of my condition. Just like Machiavelli, if I was to survive well.
I like to think I learned my lessons. I eat ok, I exercise, I take my medicine and I ask questions. I even use my motorized scooter if I want to go further than the end of the street or grocery shopping. It really does shock people when I just stand up to get something from the top shelf, but that is their problem not mine. I have other concerns.
So u see it is not really a terrible monster for me, merely an inconvenience, a very painful one at times. You say oh yes Royce had 3 laser surgeries on his face because of Trigeminal Neuralgia didn't he, I can not count the times my bladder said "I need to go NOW, its ok I just did, and we will not mention the bowel incidents.
I really try to make it a game of sorts. ms tries to stop me and I find a way around it. Just a big strategy game. ms moves left and I move right, sometimes he catches me sometimes I escape his grasp.
Now that is haw I look at it. It has worked very well for me so far but I can not say what tomorrow brings or what my outlook will be in the morning. It is all a big game, I just do my best to get the game in my favor.
You may read this and think I have all sorts of advantages that you do not have, NO actually I have the same medicines available that you do, my neuro has a TERRIBLE bedside manner, turns out I am claustrophobic so MRIs are no fun and I go through GPs far to regularly.
The ONE advantage tat I have and you do not yet have is that I made a CHOICE. I made a CHOICE to do everything I could to give me some sort of advantage in this ms journey. I CHOOSE and I will CHOSE again to get every advantage I can.
To me ms you are not a monster, you are a rather annoying inconvenience that I will outmaneuver every time you attack me, because I am ME and I CAN I WILL and I DO succeed no matter what. Just takes a little patience.
You can do this as well, just start making the CHOICE to walk at 50 at 60 at 70, always. Find ways around ms. I do not feel I am fighting anything just playing the best game that I can.
Royce
If you are warrior and fight, hats off to you. We all have a journey to travel.
