How can I stop feeling overwhelmed? - My MSAA Community

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How can I stop feeling overwhelmed?

Wizardsmom
Wizardsmom

Hi, I've posted before about my husband's emotional affair. He has ended it with her but I am still pretty upset and stressed out. I am also dealing with severe chronic pain, along with my MS. Also, I am helping to care for my mom who has dementia. We are considering Hospice for her.

With all of these challenges, I feel worn out and overwhelmed, among other things...I'm not sure what to do about all of this. I'm going to counseling but it's just not enough. Any ideas?

8 Replies
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Man, you have a lot going on 🤷🏼‍♂️. My wife and I took care of her Grandmother 👵 who had dementia for couple years then she became mean and we had to put her in assisted living 🙁. A couple years later we took in my mother as she too had dementia. After about a year it was really putting a stress on our marriage and we decided to put her in assisted living also☹️. As it turned out both were much happier their and our-relationship improved 😊. I know it’s hard but sometimes it is best for everyone 👍. With my MS and my wife’s health I think the stress advanced our medical problems. It took a lot of time from our relationship as someone had to be there all the time 😕. We had no time for each other and that caused a lot of stress. As far as an affair I am no help 🤷🏼‍♂️ Counseling is a great place to start, but I am sure it is hard to forget😡. All I can say is lots of prayers and forgiveness, which is hard. My prayers are with you and family 👍🙏🐾 Ken

Wizardsmom That is a lot of stress! Put yourself first. MS and chronic pain are Exhausting enough without the other stuff. And you’re dealing with BIG stuff. Good luck and keep up the counseling. Hospice sounds like a good idea. It should lighten your burden. Good Luck!!!

I agree with what everyone else has said so far. Dementia is not something that can be properly dealt with by a non medical professional. My mom had alzheimers and we literally had to have the police remove her from my dads home for both their sakes. Thats a scene u really dont wanna have to go thru.

Pain makes every thing worse on top of all that. Are u seeing a pain management doctor?

Counseling is always a good thing. I too will be saying prayers for u and ur family 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Wizardsmom counseling is a good start. As others have said, hospice is probably a good place for your mom to go as it doesn't help with your pain and your stress levels. You have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else and dementia is very hard and most people just can't do it for very long because of all the stressors that go along with it. Keep us updated.

Jessie

CalfeeChick
CalfeeChickCommunityAmbassador

Wizardsmom You have way too much going on and I feel for you as I have been through much of the same with a husband I adore spending much too much time with a running/training partner,(cute little blonde athlete) I put a stop to that a long time ago. The hurt continued because I let it. Now it's your turn to let go of that for YOU! Perhaps a conversation with your pastor so you could just let it go. Regarding mom, I know it's a real tough decision, and if you are the one to make the final decision,

Decide to do what is best for Mom. I went through that twice, with my own mom and my mother in law. Depending on where they are at in their dementia, they may adapt to a new living circumstance better that you think. They will have a new circle of friends to chat with and reminisce with about the "good ol' days!" Keep some of their favorite things around them, a blanket, pillow, teddy bear, and a photo album. Many convalescent hospitals have special Dementia/Alzheimer's units that are very nice. It's time for you to be taking care of you, getting rest and help with your pain. Are there any other family or close friends that can help with mom? In our area, there are programs where Mom can spend a few hours a day with other seniors, playing card, doing crafts. Maybe even have a caregiver for a few hours a day to give you a break. Mom might enjoy it too. Adult or Senior Services might be able to offer help in making the decisions too. I know my responses have been pretty direct, I apologize if I offended you in any way. I'm in one of those moods today. Having to deal with way too much and all the hubby cares about is his golf score, GRRRRR.. Sending you gentle hugs and prayers of comfort, strength and peace. 🧡🧡🙏🙏

Seems to me that you are overwhelmed with other people's problems. Put your mom in a home if you can. She will have round the clock care. As for your husband, I don't have much use for them. I had a couple of them and they were about as useful as the tits on a bull. If you can put him in another home, do that, too. You'll feel so much better.

Hahaha....I wish I could!

Thanks for the responses....I especially like "putting my husband in another home"....if only...my mom is in an assisted living but I am making all the decisions right now. I really appreciate the support.

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