MS and memory problem

[nitramjd5992]

I was diagnosed in 2007! I have a friend who is having trouble understanding what I am going through. Lately I am having trouble remembering things, she says it's my fault! This is ruining our friendship! She expects me to write everything down, like I am going to carry a note book around with stuff I should remember!

[mrsmike]

Most people haven't a clue as to what you are going thru. I have lost a few friends who don't understand. For me, it was hard to let them go as I realized that maybe they weren't good friends to begin with. I have tried to surround myself with those who truly care and of course my new MS friends that I have met in this forum.

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

sorry for what you are going through. It's tough not remembering stuff. I go through that too, I think most of us do. I do write my self sticky notes all the time, they are covering my kitchen cabinets and a few on top of each other. Remembering to write them is the tough part. I have a few friends that are really great with me and a few that get irritated when I repeat myself. I can't keep a notebook either of what I've mentioned to a friend or not. that would take too many trees to make all that paper. Hang in there, keep the friends you want and as tough as it is, either explain the memory problems or let some of them go. MS sure helps you find the friends you can count on and those you can't. We are here for you!

[vduckery]

Sorry but I have a hard time believing that’s a true friend who isn’t willing to try to understand what you’re going through. I’m not willing to carry a notebook but the notes, reminders and calendar serve in that way for me. If it weren’t for the dings and chimes I’d just be lost! Also, if there are any of those MS dinners put on by the medication vendors, invite her to attend with you or email some short articles dealing with our issues. That’s how I was able to make a few of my friends understand. In the end I agree with what the others here have said sometimes you have to let them go.

[Midgey_Midge06]

Back when i was still “normal” i had a friend that constantly repeated herself and it drove nuts! I thought she was a self centered loon. Then she explained to me about her particular disability and i was able to see things from her perspective.

It made me much more patient with her and now that i have my own challenges - she is the one true friend i have left in this world that truly understands what i am going thru.

[Midgey_Midge06 in reply to Midgey_Midge06]

There was a point in there somewhere i just forgot what it was!! 🙄🙄

[nitramjd5992]

When I try to explain it's not my fault, she says stop blaming the illness! You will get no pity from me, I have had friends that were alot worse than you!

[RoseySawyer]

I think you can have better friends then her. I repeat myself alot and I forget things ALOT, I know that I get on my husband's nerves. And I know I probably get on my BFF's nerves to, but it is what it is. They both accept me for me even with my monster. Even with MS I am still me. She should accept you for you. I wish you the best in that situation but I want you to know that just because you have MS, you're still you, don't let her down you. Your better than that. ❤

[nitramjd5992 in reply to RoseySawyer]

Thanks you, I just can't get through to her! She keeps saying it's not the MS!

[TracyBelle in reply to nitramjd5992]

Maybe you should show her some of the endless posts about MS stealing your short term memory. Or perhaps forward her an article from a medical website to PROVE that it IS the MS. None of my friends made any attempt to stay friends with me. It has been a lonely 20 years. Today, I am not who I was before I was diagnosed. I have tried to make new friends but it is always me texting them and they never check on me, so I just give up. I don’t think anyone without MS would want to be my friend, because everyone else have lives that are moving forward and I am always stuck. At least you still have a friend, even if she has no clue about your condition.

[GildaS]

I have a good friend who I have known for more than 30 years. She had the worst memory ever. I took it personally for many years, thinking that I mattered so little to her that she remembered nothing about me. I hope I never showed irritation. In the last 10 years or so, I have come to realize that she has a #%*>ing poor memory and I got over it. (If she has physiological problems, I don’t know about them.) My point is that friends accept each other, flaws and all. My long-time friend has a bad memory. I have no stamina and can’t do a lot of stuff other people want to do. We are still close.

You aren’t being thoughtless; you have an illness that affects your memory sometimes. Your friend needs to grow up.