Need comfort

Hi to all......I am having a very down day. My husband of 52 years is very ill with congestive heart failure. He is home and gave hospice 2 days a week. This could be long or short time he has left. Needless to say , my MS is giving me fits as stress does this to we "MS" people. I fell so lost and have always been a person who didn't let MS grab me but this has knocked me for a loop. Just need someone to tell me it's all going to be okay. 92636 -Dee

34 Replies
oldestnewest

I wish I could give you a hug! Hospice is such a wonderful resource. Does he have good times of the day when you can still enjoy moments together that you could focus on? Dreading the unknown makes us all sick and I wish I had some wisdom for you. I'm sorry this is happening to both of you and I hope you get back to yourself soon! 😘

10 likes
Reply

dr92636 I am so sorry Dee, like kdali says, I too wish I could be there and give you a big hug and hold your hand. I don't have any magic words that will make your situation better but I am sure being in each other's company you will still be able to feel the love between you both. You are both in my prayers, blessings Jimeka 🙏 🤗

9 likes
Reply

dr92636, I am so sorry. I know I can't truly empathize with your current situation (my husband of nearly 40yrs is healthy), but I can Imagine how physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted you are, and how you might be frightened for your husband and yourself.

Do you have other family nearby? I hope you aren't carrying all of this alone. Hospice is wonderful and needed at a time such as this, but I pray you have others to lean on and provide respite as well. Love and care for your husband, but take care of yourself, too. Rest when you can.

Sending another hug. We're always here for you...💞

7 likes
Reply

Thank you Tutu. My son lives near us and is here for us at all times. My daughters are waiting for me to tell them when to come. So. I'm not alone but you are right there is a tinge of fear in the backround and changing my life at this age is not easy. dr92636

4 likes
Reply

dr92636 my heart goes out to you and your husband.

6 likes
Reply

dr92636

Sending both you and your husband many prayers 🙏

7 likes
Reply

Thank you ...can really use them. dr92636

3 likes
Reply

dr92636, I wish we could share hugs over the internet. I’m sorry for the issues you’re going through, am will be praying for you, your husband, and your family. Let us know how you’re all doing.

4 likes
Reply

dr92636, I'm so very sorry to read your post. My husband and I have been married 51 years and I know this is something we will encounter down the road. You are blessed to have your Son close by and your Daughters willing to come. Sending prayers to your and your family. Love, Sue

3 likes
Reply

I wish that I could say it will be OK dr92636 but I do not know that. I can say that you will make it through this because if there is anything that I know about those with MS it’s that they are strong and do not give up.

My thoughts are with you.

3 likes
Reply

Praying God gives you strength thru this difficult time. My wife and I will be celebrating our 47th anniversary next month and I can't imagine what it will be like when one of us are in your situation. God bless you and your family.

Donnie

2 likes
Reply

It is tough as we are best friends and have a wonderful life together. He has been a wonderful caretaker and now it is my turn. dr92636

2 likes
Reply

@dr92636. He's very lucky to have you with him. God bless you all.

Donnie

1 like
Reply

Praying for you and your husband and family.

2 likes
Reply

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Don't be afraid to lean on your kids through this. My husband had a quintuple bypass so I know what you are going through.

2 likes
Reply

You and your husband are in my prayers. God Bless

2 likes
Reply

I am praying for you and your family. Good ti hear you have family close by too.

2 likes
Reply

dr92636, you and your husband are in my prayers. I hope that everything will be okay.

2 likes
Reply

@dr92636 I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. Hospice is wonderful, we had their help when my mother-in-law was sick. It is good that you have family there to help you through this. They will be a comfort for you. The thoughts of losing my husband sends cold chills down my back. I depend on him so. With God's help you can make it, he will give you strength beyond what is normal. Sending prayers your way.

2 likes
Reply

Thank you...I will certainly take your prayers...I am big on faith. dr92636

2 likes
Reply

dr92636 I can't begin to tell you how my heart aches for you and your husband. Know you are in all our thoughts and you can post here anytime you want to or need to.

3 likes
Reply

Thank you for your kind words......dr92636

2 likes
Reply

Dee, just got your note and my heart goes out to you.Sometimes we just need a hug, it WILL be ok and that yes I do care....for sure.I am also proud you joined us and asked for what you needed.That takes guts!My husband sick also and trying to move...I get real scared.Sometimes I feel so alone, I cant help him or myself sometimes a lot.Heres a secret...I still have my baby bear and blanket that at age(?) it is there and I throw a blanket over my head and for a short period of time..I have shut down to wake up and start fresh.Things are still the same as before but...better.Big hug to you! poetry music art and those new pics of the lastest baby born here are great too!

1 like
Reply

I wish a bunch of us could give you a big group hug. You will be in my prayers. All you can do is take it day by day. Ask your doctor if there is anything she/he can do for your MS. God's strength 🙏.

1 like
Reply

To all my MS friends......Thanks to all of you who have responded to my plea. It's so nice to know there wonderful comforting people out there and don't feel so alone. My time is limited right now and don't have all the free time I've had so wanted you all to know how much I appreciate all the replies I have gotten. Will jump in when I can. Sincerely..........Dee 92636

3 likes
Reply

I-am so sad for what you are going through. Cherish your time with him and I'm glad you have your kids close by. 😘

1 like
Reply

dr92636 , it will be OK in the end, but you've got a long way to go. I can't even imagine how your MS is reacting to this situation, because it sounds like you're already starting to grieve and grief is such a hard process. Can you have family or a home health worker come in on the days hospice doesn't, just to give you a chance to care for yourself and take care of your physical and emotional needs? Concern for others and totally focusing on a bad situation causes us to put on blinders as to our own needs, and like it or not, with MS this is a real problem. If you have no outlet you could simply implode and the MonSter will just pile on. See if hospice has counseling or a resource such as respite care that you can use; if not, check with your city or town to see what services they offer. You may also want to check in with your neurologist and let him or her know what's going on; he or she may have a suggestion. It is noble and comforting to be taking this journey with your husband, but you can't be of help to him if the MS is affecting you so badly. God bless both of you--you are in my prayers and thoughts.

1 like
Reply

Sukie427....Have not had a lot of time to be on the computer so forgive me. I appreciate your response. Hospice does provide relief for me if and when I need it. They are wonderful people to have around. Feel much more comfortable to have them in my corner. Can use all the prayers I can get. dr92636

1 like
Reply

You've got them.

1 like
Reply

@dr92636

Likewise!—Said a prayer for your family. 🙏🏻

Reply

All you can do is one step at a time. You don't eat dinner in one bite! It's a bite at a time. If you take time like bites it breaks it down so it's a bit easier to take. Enjoy the time he has left. You said he was a great caregiver. Rejoice for that! Help him through his final journey to meet the Lord face to face and know he will be there, waiting for you for when you arrive. You will see him again. Unfortunately there are the earthly issues to deal with and those aren't easy. A cyber-hug to you. I pray for blessings to be heaped upon you and peace be granted to you.

1 like
Reply

dr92636 My heart just aches for you. How blessed you have been to be married to your very best friend for so many happy years. What wonderful memories you must share. May God bless you with strength. I will surely be praying for your family. Love, Kelly

Reply

dr92636 I'm am so sorry!! My husband also has congestive heart failure. He was diagnosed two years ago, I've been dealing with the MS for 26 years. We have learned, in dealing with his CHF, salt is a big culprit. There is salt in everything. It's not what you put on at the table, it's what is in the canned food you use (milk has salt in it!!!) I've had to learn how to cook all over again, And cooking with Progressive MS is not easy. He should limit his salt to a maximum of 1500 mg a day. It is doable and he can eat well. √ out the heart Association website. Restaurants often have online ingredient nutrition guides; check them out.

CHS is no longer a death sentence. It took us both a while to understand that and believe it. His tests on his heart have come up dramatically. He now has a almost normal range injection facture and those of you that deal with congestive heart failure know what that is.

He Just just went through massive shoulder surgery, and probably has three or four more months of physical therapy left (2 already down, so we've been dealing with that. Getting older is not for the faint of heart.

Keep positive and believe that the human spirit can thrive in so many ways. Cheryl

Reply

YLGram......Thanks for the input and wish you well with your husband but mine had

a severe heart attack several years ago that damaged his heart. He heart is only working at 15% rate and is on oxygen 24/7. Dr. gave us a not good prognosis and cannot say when but to try and focus on each day ...maybe two years or two weeks ..no one knows so we are taking it one day at a time. Thanks again for your advice. 92636

Reply

You may also like...