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Anger issues

Through the years with MS, the older I get i have anger issues. When I was younger I would always back my opinion and stand strong. I was not the type to get angry.

For some reason as I get older I found my self angry at people, at situations any thing that is wrong . But I act out from my anger. Yes this means verbal and physically.

Does anyone else do this.

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I think several of us have mentioned personality changes that seem drastic and permanent, or mild during a flare but still concerning. I don't like the beast I turn into when I'm exhausted and have pushed myself too far, but my experience so far has been during flares/relapses only. I think I have a handle on what I need to do for myself to prevent this...I hate it! It's not me at all!

Maybe someone else who has developed anger management issues can give some tips or at least say you are not alone?

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Hi SlmHarris as kdali says, your not alone. I honestly think my anger issues started when my MS started, at 49. I'm now 51. I thought it was menopause to be honest with you 🙄🤣 But I knew I had a problem when I literally was yelling and screaming at my poor dog 🐕 to get me a broom.😞😟

I called my "head" phycologist and we decided that Xanax would work best for me. 😊

I wish you tons of luck and luv

Jes🌠

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I am sitting laughing with the girls about some the things I yell. Mow the carpet, move the chicken chairs etc

I do take clonazepam. Maybe Xanax would work better.

Good luck!

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Xanax world better for me

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SlmHarris OH MY! Do I experience this! I thank God everyday that The advanced symptoms of MS like this anger poop have hit me with my kids older and not young ones! I find myself loosing it on them. Loosing it at traffic and I am not the one driving. I yell at the news!! I am working on this in therapy. Doc thinks it is my pain getting the better of me. I don't know, but I sure as hell do not like it, not one bit! So do not feel alone my friend!

Love you all!

Rob

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Thank you for sharing!

The first time I blew up it was at my 34 yr old son.

He came to borrow money from me and I told him I didn't have it. He basically called me a liar.

Girl I jumped up and started punching him. He tried to get away from me and I went after him in the front yard with the neighbors watching.

He kept begging me to stop so I punched in the mouth and told him to shut up. His girlfriend got out of the truck and I went after her but it took my son and daughter to hold me back.

I looked at my daughter and I was fine. Then I proceeded to tell the drug headed self to get out of my yard and away from me.

I have no idea where the energy came from or the strength. But I go not regret what I did, he is a drug head and wants me to support him. Hell double Hell no.

I raised 5 boys and one girl. I never let my boys walk over me....

It's not menopause. I went through that around 45 and I am 56.

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SlmHarris , I don't know if you're a reader, but I am currently reading "A Man Called Ove", who seems to be mad at the whole world. I can relate to him and maybe you can, too.

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Thanks for telling me about the book!

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SueAB: Is the book any good? I have the movie in my Amazon cue but have not watched it yet.

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Yooper , It starts slow, but in the end I couldn't put it down! I am going to recommend it to my Cousin for her book club.

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SlmHarris

I have felt anger for sure, I think mine creeps up when I am beyond frustration and I feel like I am going to explode (like others, part of it may be menopausal). The other day this happened to me and I had a cup of CBD tea. It completely calmed me down.

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So the CBD works good for you?

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I have only tried the tea to "calm down" and a cream for my feet (also works for copaxone site skin reactions). There are different ratios of CBD to THC. I am not an expert but I must say the tea completely took the edge off things:).

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I haven't started menopause yet but lately I've been getting so angry that I'm in tears! And if I'm fatigued, yikes, it's scary! I'm very impatient driving. I don't know or like this person. Not sure what to do about it 😕. I feel like I have to hurry every day and complete whatever I want to do before the horrendous fatigue hits. Every day it hits me at some point. Guess I should add that to the neurologist question list.

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Julie123456

I feel the same way. Always in a hurry with so much to do and then get overwhelmed. I try to say to myself "slow down " because I realize when I am rushing around that I could fall down and break a hip and then wouldn't be able to do anything.

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SlmHarris you are certainly. My wife and family tell me that every time I speak I'm angry. Especially when kids get noisy. I just can't stand it. I've always been pretty laid back most of the time but since me came into my life I'm like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. And I don't like it but I can't stop no matter how hard I try. Especially when somebody does something that they know I'm gonna react badly about. That's when I really lose it. Seems pretty dumb in my book. Haha. But no. You are not alone.

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Doubled51 Yes! The noise thing makes me nutty. If there are 2 sources of noise I feel like I can't concentrate or hear anything. Not sure if it a hearing issue or processing.

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A hearing problem actually started the process of my dx for ms. Problems with my hearing caused my ENT to send me for an MRI to make sure I didn't have a tumor. They noticed the lesions with this MRI and referred me to a neurologist. That was Friday march 31. Sat April 1st I had my first full blown Ms attack And the rest is history. The beginning of my anger issues. Lol. So hearing sure doesn't help my anger issues.

Donnie

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Doubled51

Thank you so much for sharing that... all this time I thought I was crazy and alone 😫

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We maybe crazy but not alone. Haha. Blessings.

Donnie

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@suzy20 I get soooo irritable when someone is talking with tv blaring - the 2 conversations drive my anger issues over the wall!! Neurologists simply refuse to believe our sumptoms are MS., One exception: I was able to have one session (insurance stopped from going back) with a NEUROSCIENCE COUNSELOR and she validated that our change in emotions, our lack of control of emotions, our personality changes and all the symptoms listed here are TRULY DUE to damage to our myelin in our brains because the pathways of communication have cutt off, and due to what pathyways are blocked, will determine what changes happen in yoour personality. I was soooo validated that day!!! I only pray my insurance will someway help me find another neuroscience counselor. (I read her bio and her major was the study of the brain from scientific and emotional viewpoint). Right now my only validation is this forum, and our blessed Lord Jesus.

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@SlmHarris, I can definitely relate to what you're going through. Throughout my adult life I have been very even keeled emotionally. I never, literally never, got upset or angry. I was always happy and optimistic. I thought when i married my wife would end up being frustrated or upset with me for being as steady as a rock and unflappable. Even in traffic situations I just took things in stride. They didn't bother me ...

Since my MS symptoms started I find I am moody, easily upset, and quick to anger. I know while it's happening and it upsets me that I'm behaving so badly, especially to my wife and family. Even though I'm aware of my behavior I don't know how to stop myself, and I feel horrible about my behavior. I don't like who I've become as a result of MS. I've always been the type my family could rely on during difficult times. They felt comfortable, and safe because of my calm demeanor and confidence to get us through the difficult times. I feel so bad when I fail them.

I've been taking citalopram. It seems to be helping as I my emotional swings have diminished in intensity and become less frequent. I still though have my moments. It upsets my wife when I disengage and walk away. I've told her it's not personal, I just need to be alone to get myself under control to keep things from escalating. It's not the best approach though. I hope you find something to help you better manage your emotional outbursts.

Michael

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@HathMD52

Wondering. Did your message get cut off or did you intend to end where it ended?

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nvm! It was my device.

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OK, I should have read the next reply 😀

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It should have ended with my name, Michael. Did it get cut off?

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Hi SlmHarris, I found myself in this situation and it was not my normal way. I use to be very well controle of my impulse and observation, but I became for over a year or more agressive and sometimes very angry,not my common behavior, because I am much more the rational style. It's happened during a long period of low fever I was having frequently for almost one year, means my brain was in permanent inflamatory stage for long time. Now I can feel the lost of mu reserve after long time of sub inflamatory level, invisible use of the reservatory of the brain. I am back to calm stage now, but I am more lower speed than before. Your anger and physical impulse are active inflammation in your brain. This is my opinion. Obviously we have a lots going on to explains situations.

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Miriade "Your anger and physical impulse are [a result of] active inflammation in your brain." That's an interesting perspective to consider. Thank you for sharing! :)

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SimHarris: The more movement and balance I lose the touchier I get. I do feel anger and don't like to ask for help. But, I do pray for patience and try to see the best in every day. Many times I actually see and feel the good things. Keep trying! This is our only chance at living. God's Peace

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So many can relate to what you're experiencing! I've always been a calm, even-keeled gal, but in the past few months have experienced a few times when I've felt irritable over little things. I hate that feeling. Who knows if it's directly related to MS lesions or to building frustrations over MS limitations and symptoms. I think it may have been Tutu who mentioned putting herself in "time out" when needed to prevent doing or saying something that could be damaging to relationships. I just hope I can stay in control enough to recognize it early on and explain to my family and friends that I need time alone and that it has nothing to do with them. I have such sweet family and friends and couldn't bear to hurt them. Besides, who wants to alienate our support people!

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greaterexp, you're right, I often have to excise myself and go into our bedroom in the evening because I notice I've become overly tired and snap at the tiniest thing. I haven't always recognized my change in mood and irritability, but my husband has. That's when he says, "I think you need to go into time out." 😉

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@tutu. I can relate to that. I get reminded often that I'm raising my voice or being irritable. Lol. I blame the raising my voice on my hearing problem. She totally agrees about my hearing but stilll doesn't think that's any excuse. Lol.

Blessings to all.

Donnie

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@Sin Harris It doespecially happen. I think part of it is frustration from the MS that spills over onto whoever pushes your buttons. I have a homeopathic herb for stress that helps. If I know I am having to deal with things I take them.

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What kind of homeopathic herb do you use

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Hello SimHarris, it's Fancy1959 welcoming you to this chat room a bit late. I was dealing with a lot of issues with my anus myself and my depression and I took some time away from the chat room so I didn't say hello to you since you joined. So before I answer your question I want to say you have found a great place to come voice your concerns like you just did, share problems, or simply want to speak with people who truly understand what you are going through.

Now on to your anger issues, when I see the decline in my physical capabilities and my mental capabilities are starting to slip it's hard not to be mad at the world upon occasion. I look good people young and old just carelessly walking down the street and I become so jealous I almost want to scream and pull my hair out as I Stumble down the street using my cane or my Walker. They have no clue of the gift they have in having their balance being normal and their gates are walking their mind and all the other issues we face being normal. So yes I have anger issues but most people are unaware of them. The one thing I have noticed is that I use more language than I ever did before and I think that's my anger bubbling over. I have never gotten physical with anyone and I highly recommend that you are careful not to do the same and if the urge becomes overwhelming to seek counseling.

I believe mine has gotten worse since I've gotten older because my disability is also worse as I've gotten older. When I was younger I was better able to keep up and had less issues that were not manageable due to my MS. Please feel free to vent on us because we are great listeners. Be careful with your anger as it can lead to other serious issues that you do not want to or that you should not have to deal with as you fight the monster we call MS. When your anger gets the best of you try to remember happier times and think of those and focus on those in your head to help your anger dilute until it's manageable. Until we speak again please take care and know that many people stand alongside of you and are here two talk to you whenever you need us.

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@SlmHarris I never cussed at anyone in my life until about 3 years when MS became very active (RRMS for 40+ years). My anger was uncontrollable! Most people around me said for me to stop blaming it on MS; I was just letting go of pent up anger. I knew different. This anger was not ME. This angry person inside of my body is no longer ME. I have lesions in my communication area of brain, and the right side of brain has a lot of damage. It makes me very depressed that no one in medical field will believe that these anger issues are because the nerves in emotional center are scrambled, lacking myelin, or just dead. They all want me to go to psychiatrist and be put on psychotic drugs, but I refuse. About 10 years, I went, and about was tried on 8 different drugs, but all made me a zombie and took away all emotion. Something like xanax would control them in the past (prescribed for fibromyalgia), but only 1 a day, until recently, and now stopped xanax and prescribed valium which does not control my anger in the least. So, my daughter recommeneded essential oils. If I remember in time,, I can breathe in a Mellow Mix, or other mixed calming oils. that is actually controlling the anger issues. But not always. Better than ruining my relationships. I just don't socialize anymore. Safer that way. I think WE know better our symptoms than the neurologists!

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