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When does it stop?

I would like to know if anyone is as angry with these cards that have been dealt?

I try to take things in stride, but this has been like a kick in the stomach.(or just south)

I worked hard my whole adult life and count myself lucky that I have never been without a job.

Now that I am nearing my retirement age, I was taken over by this damn disease and all the plans I had are not gone, but a lot harder to achieve.

When does the anger stop?

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Everyone is different with how to deal with this monster. I don't & will never like these cards. Good days are good, bad days...I want to fold. Generally to keep positive but yes I'm angry when my body doesn't allow me to do the things I used to or want to do. But also, being angry is a lost energy towards something that's not changable. Please no that alot of us feel the "anger", but how to handle it and keep your mind focused on the what I can do is better use of limited energy

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Thanks,

I try, but this morning, everything hurts and I get cranky

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If you haven't heard it before...here's a song to look up on YouTube. ..it's by REM called "Everybody hurts". It always grabs my heart. Listen to the words...

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That’s amazing you would mention that song. I play and sing that song a lot. It’s an amazing anti-suicide song.

It makes me feel much better after I perform it. (At least while I’m able)

Thanks!!

C

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Hi sweetie yes the angry will go away. I felt the same way 26 years ago!!!!!!!!! I said this is pure evil and why me! While in the hospital I relized that I wasn’t getting better being so angry. Stress will keep you sick with this disease. I regained all strength back into my entire body once I let the angry go and was put on one of the ABC drugs immediately. I’ve been on the same Med for 26 years and am doing great. I will keep you in prayer. You may have MS but it don’t have you sweetie. I live by that!!!!!!

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When I was first diagnosed I was 20 years old. I hated getting an "incurable disease. What bugged me the most was that I got it the first year that I was eligible. They used to say that M.S. usually started between the ages of 20 and 40. I figured that I had my whole life ahead of me. I thought, if I have to have this, why couldn't it come when I was old, at 30 or 40. When you'r3e 20, 30 or 40 seems old, zi figured it wouldn't be as bad then, as I'd have already got my life going(have a family, set i a career,etc. My next relapse was when I was 28. Wasn't easier when you're getting older because then your little ones need their mommy to do things with them, you've got to work, take care of home, family,etc. After becoming a Christian, I realized that I had a choice, i can let life's challanges make me better or bitter. I chose to make the lemons that life threw at me and make lemonade with them. I'm now 54 years old,and I'm happy. I have some helth issues. but they don't have me. I have gotten here by relying on the 3 F's Faith, Family, and Friends. Being in an MS Support group helped because every one there gets it. We share our concerns, and when some one is going through something, there's usually another person who's been there. We share with each other what helped us. No one can take the disease away from us, but, WE DECIDE HOW WE DEAL WITH IT. Pray and ask the Lord to help you find a way to deal with what you're going through. Don't give in to the anger and despair. YOU CAN MAKE IT!! Life doesn't end just because you're sick some times. You may have to do things a little differently than your used to, but you can if you believe it and are willing to do the work to make it happen!

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Love your post. ❤️ yes I was diagnosed in my 20s with a small child and a husband with end stage kidney failure. But my faith kept through the challenges. I decide to have a second child an MS relapse was horrific. But God pulled me through that relapse. Since then , I have the joy and frustration of doing things I would never have guessed. Keep the faith!

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Hello CraigS

I agree with Jesuslover69. When my days are not what i expect them too be and I can't do the things I want too at the time MS takes over. I still thank the Lord for what I'm still blessed with. I can still on a good day do everything I normally do each day, it may be slower and harder but i can do it. There are days when I say Lord I can't do this anymore, He reminds me that there are people who are worst off than I am. I become more thankful for what I have, because I know all my days are not bad days. Its hard and I get down, but if I let it work on me I noticed it gets worst. So as my boyfriend tells me, I act like I don't care about things. I do care I just wont let it get me down and worked up and depressed because that's MS cue to take over. Not on my watch if I can help it. Keep your head up and yell and scream for the moment but don't let it control you. Best of luck and God bless you.

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Hi I’m ssda1958 I was talking with my husband this weekend about the same thing and I don’t know if I am more upset that’s the nice word I can use here, of the way I was treated from my job or simply having this disease. I am 59 years old I was diagnosed in my mid forties. I had to fight for my job for 11 of those years and didn’t really take care of the MS part until I was made to retire. One thing I should have done was taken more care of myself. Because now I’m dealing with this body that is falling apart for not better term. Yes I am not happy at this time in my life with my children old enough to take care of them self’s and my husband and I could do outdoor things but can’t because my legs are not working the way I want them to, and I am home all day going stir crazy not being able to fix my house the way I want to. Then on top of that I can’t work. Don’t worry I would have changed jobs a long time ago those people don’t know how to treat there workers well. The sad part about that is they are a school system go figure. Your question was am I upset at getting this disease yes I am and yes I am sick that I can’t enjoy my golden days doing things I wanted to do that answer is yes.

I say to you and anyone else that’s reading this if you are working, work but don’t let anyone that can take it away from you know how you feel keep smiling and if you want to do something before you can’t do it anymore do it.

Enjoy life as much as you can even if your legs are not working the way you want them to. Because life is too short as we all know.

Good luck 👍

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I feel your pain too! I had to stop working last year. My diagnosis came very late and I don’t have “good days”.

My job has always been an important part of my self worth and brought joy to me for being able to provide for my family. When I stopped working, my wife had to take on that responsibility and I tried to take care e of the house cleaning, meals, etc. Now that is mostly gone too.

My poor wife has to do almost everything and that adds to the overall feelings that I harbor. It’s almost impossible to talk to people who are not familiar with this disease. The symptoms are so varied and not easily diagnosed. I don’t blame the other doctors that didn’t know what it was, but I can’t help but wish I had started some kind of treatment before it got to here.

Thanks for sharing your story with me.

Misery loves company

Craig

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CraigS i self identified thru my work too so I had to redefine what was my self worth. I thought about people I admired. While they had achieved in life they also had qualities I admired, like perseverance, kindness, curiosity. I thought about which of those qualities I also shared and had a renewed sense of self esteem and purpose. Hope this may help u too

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The anger stops when your ready CraigS . I don't think anyone can answer it but you.

I'm only 3yrs in and have learned to live with it, and accept it, but I sure as h*'l Don't have to like it! But being angry doesn't change it either. 😊

So right now in this moment that I share with you! I chose to be happy.

Tomorrow is a whole new day!🌞

Jes🌠

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I think the thing CraigS I am upset about is that a lot lands on my husbands also because cooking for me is not a safe thing to be doing and vacuuming that’s a joke have you ever vacuumed while sitting on a rollator don’t it can get dangerous

Try to enjoy the

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I was stricken with optic neuritis 12 days after being sworn in as an Attorney. At that time my neurological exam and brain MRI were perfect in the ER. I was legally blind at first, but slowly recovered my eyesight over about 6 weeks. Then I began to have intense pain under my arm and MRIs of my spine and brain showed damage to every area except for my cervical spine. I have never been able to practice law. I worked SO HARD to be financially independent and it was all a waste of time and my dad's money. The RAGE I feel hasn't improved over the past 20 years and I don't know if it ever will. I can't get disability because I didn't work enough within the right time frame. I worked and then went back to school numerous times during my undergraduate years and didn't work during law school. ( It was hard enough to pass those classes - there was no way to work at the same time!)

I hope you find a way to live with your anger, with MS you have to find a way to live with a ton of other crap anyway.

I am sure that many more positive responses will follow, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in your rage.

We are all in this together - Tracy

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Tracy, thank you for being so honest with me. I feel horrible for you.

I don’t have any encouragement to give you. Damn, you caught it rough.

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Oh Francy1959 I didn’t know you went through that stuff. Sorry to hear that. i also can’t get social security until I am 62 because I took time off after I had my children and then I worked for a school system that doesn’t take out social security.

If I knew what was going to happen I would have, should have done things differently. But wouldn’t we all have done things differently

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Yes I feel angry! I try not to brood on it because it causes terrible terrible acne

Anger ends when we realize that anger only harms us and we should not let that disease win.

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That’s a great response. Stress is the enemy for all of us!

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Thanks! So true 😃

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CraigS, it's Fancy1959. MS is different for each and every person. I know personally it's a conscious choice to look at the positive side of life. That still doesn't mean from time to time I don't become so furious with this monster that I live with I can't stand it! The way I see it however, and the way I live my life is that by letting the anger control my life is giving this monster another Victory. And I refuse to let this monster dictate my life. We are lucky to have MS! Yes you heard me right we are lucky. With MS our plans have changed without a doubt but we still can make plans. I will personally be alive to see my three adult sons get married. I will be able to hold my grandbabies as they come. Many other serious chronic illnesses that strike at people makes the lifespan of the victim so short it is hard to plan anything past the next holiday. It's the old saying that I try to follow and that is my glass is half-full. It is not half empty. I keep a smile on my face and go as much as I possibly can! However I attack it much differently than I did just five years ago but the point is I still attack it. I hope this helps and remember I am only a post away if you need to talk more about this dreaded monster. Stay strong, and fight fight fight!💪💪 Fancy 😉!

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Yeah Craig, I totallyknow what you're feeling! I do become angry @ this monster too! I feel sometimes like I can't do anything right anymore or ever!! I feel sometimes that I or was it this undiagnosed disease that totally messed my life up! I am angry sometimes that it somehow took my life away! Riding horses, hiking, cooking! All theburdens my hub has been thru cuz of it! I lost $ all the time while wrking my fingers litterally to the bonez!! At really hard factor jobs! Whew! I'm 90lbs. Soaking wet, i wear lil'children's clothes!! I try to gain weight but to no avail cuz of this horrendous disease!!! So, i just try to take it day by day, with Faith th@ i can get thru another1!! & try to sing my blues away!!💝😎😥😍

Jazmine Joplin

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CraigS , there's not a lot of point in being angry. I find that anger makes me very tired very fast. I can't afford to be angry. Thinking about the way things might have been doesn't do much for me. Of course things might have been better without MS. But they might have been far worse too. I've known some people who've been stricken with some very horrible diseases that picked them off at an early age, and other people who've had far worse luck than I've had. I don't know if thinking of how much worse things could be will help you but it sometimes helps me.

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when I was dx in 2007 I gave myself the right to never come to terms, get over the anger, or in anyway pretend to be "Okay" with my health issues [as a few others came to play as well]. I am still angry. It was too early to retire or late to start over. I lost everything. I have to find ways to live on SSDI which since I became disabled and had to collect my benefits are low. So no, I don't think we or at least maybe some of us never get over it or can make the anger to stop. I've learned to focus on the part of my life that the MS has not taken from me. I've learned to do life differently. I had to delete about two paragraphs from this message as my anger drew me away from my point. I have learned to be grateful for what I have and to not be too bad off with my health. You will find your way as your journey continues, just be easy with yourself in the process. Learn to become your best friend. You will need you. Came here to vent from time to time as you need. The journey is something many of use have been on for some time so we understand ~terry

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CraigS ms forced me into early retirement (well semi-retirement as I still teach PT). I go thru periods of demoralization and then bounce back (to a new normal). Anger seems like a more energizing emotion than self-pity. Maybe that's the emotion I need to channel next round 😤

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CraigS thanks for posting this as everyone's comments are so relatable 💕

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i agree and i was always working or taking care of the kids for my husband was gone a lot for he was an owner operator of his own 18 wheeler and kept my health and watched my weight ...i always felt good except for a fall every so often ...thinking need to watch out closer and then we moved to the sticks to enjoy the wildlife and i got sick all the time ...well i am mad at the fact i have had to change my life to this disease but then i have to remember i am still alive and wake up every morning and am lucky i had the great of times when i was much younger ...but i have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children that are healthy and both of children of their own ...life it what we make it and yes i can get down in the blues for we have lost a lot of friends and family with old age and other health issues so i am blessed to still be here to watch my family growing up ...watch the deer and squirrels and birds playing in our yard and still able to see and hear them ...which is wonderful...so i feel blessed ....have a wonderful day and enjoy the life you still have and all that you can do for there are lots of them that can't ....feel the love ...

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Anger was never an issue with me. I was grateful that it was only MS. I learned a long time ago that being angry doesn't really help anyone. You mentioned that your self-worth was based on your job & ability to provide for your family, its no wonder that you are angry. Self-worth should come from within, who you are in your heart, not what you are able to do. I suspect you have a pretty good heart and care deeply about your family. I doubt your wife married you because of your ability to do something for her. I'm sure she saw something inside you, your heart, that she wanted & loved very much. I used to tell my cosmetology students (who usually had a very low self esteem at the beginning of school) to look in the mirror every day and say "I love you" out loud. At first they looked at me like I was nuts, but I made them do this every day. After awhile their self esteem started to pick up. Ten - twelve months later they were a different person. They started to believe that they were worth living for. We actually believe more of what we hear from ourselves than what we hear from others. It is hard to do at first especially when you don't like yourself, but it really does work. You may not be able to hold down a job or even do much around the house anymore but what ever you can do, be proud of it. If the only thing you can manage that day is get dressed, brush your teeth & comb your hair then you have success. Some people can't even do that. So focus on what you can do. This disease can be the worst thing or the best thing that ever happened to you. It's all on how you look at yourself in the mirror.

I pray that you will be able to get past the anger & be happy with who you are today. God Bless!

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Thanks. That is inspired

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I hope you are coping better with your MS and life changes. My faith still carries me through. I will be 58 this year and anniversary is 7-7-2018. I worked as long as I could and raised two sons with my husband who had a kidney transplant 22+ years after waiting 7. I do get angry and frustrated with my situation at times. and I have a strong faith in God. But I am amazed over the years what I have done and experienced since my prognosis wasn’t promising.So now my husband cares for me. Keep hope. Keep changing. If you didn’t have MS, you will be dealing with old age or something else. Praying for you. God bless.

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Sadness, resignation, sometimes fear, but anger not so much. I actually feel like I am less angry if that makes sense. I used to get angry about what now seem like minor, insignificant things. MS has changed my perspective about most things, but that's just me. Everyone is different and your feelings are valid and understandable. MS can be cruel and take away things we loved doing, I feel like I am constantly ajusting to my "new normal"...

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CraigS , when I feel crazy about this disease I thank the Lord for what I did get to do and think about what I am going to do. Unfortunately we have to transition to change. Maybe we will get to do something we enjoy 😊 that we never considered.

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I know it’s easier said than done but you can still do many things. Just keep on moving.

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