Neuro today

[Karen-x]

So I saw my wonderful neuro today for an MRI review. I have four new brain lesions. He always pulls up my scans and goes through them w me. Showing me where the lesions are and how the old ones are more pronounced. Its fascinating. And he didn't feel that the new lesions warranted changing my DMT. He also didn't think it was too bad, just indicative of slow progression. It doesn't seem too bad, right? So why do I want to cry?

[GasLight]

Same reason that we often break into tears, when we've had another MS fall, have miraculously avoided serious injury, and yet, we (inexplicably) begin to cry.

It's a moment of dramatic and emotional release, and the tears are usually about much more than what is occurring in the present moment.

I've cried many times, in the moments after a "safe" fall (when, if anything, I should be smiling and giving thanks).

Just two pennies from that fool down in Atlanta, of course. . . .

When it passes (and it will), don't forget to give thanks for a good visit, a great neuro, and an otherwise slow progression.

Best,

-- Christopher

[dmaskal1 in reply to GasLight]

I agree with GasLight completely. Crying is a great emotional release from the frustration of dealing with MS we all experience continually. It's OK.

[erash in reply to GasLight]

Well said GasLight

[ddeadred in reply to GasLight]

YEP! Gratitude is the BEST ATTITUDE!

[agapepilgrim]

Karen-x huh, because it's your body??? Ugh, it's your brain??? Of course he said it was slow progression - compared to the measles because they don't want to deal with a crying depressed patient because then they would have to spend time giving you words of encouragement or prescribing an anti-depressant that would only complicate tomorrow so he takes the easy road and says that's not too bad - you know , like increased number of lesions isn't as bad as becoming a paraplegic overnight! Nope, not bad at all! So what if you spill your coffe cup? Compensate by picking up with 2 hands (that's what my neuro told me today!!!!!))))oh, more lesions making you more forgetful?? You can't go thru life worrying about things you forget! Forgot your license/ just sweet talk the policeman. Forgot your PIN number- tell the clerk to make it credit!! Learn to cope with your MS on creative ways! That's what my neuro told me today! You have coped with this for 52 years, no matter how much worse it gets you have proven you can handle this thing!" I told him he should try handling it awhile and see how tiring it gets because I am ready to give up if it gets any worse! "Now now you just need to learn new ways to cope." Can you believe this dreamer, thus Peter Pan, this Pollyanna??? Come down to earth and live in my body a week and THEN let someone tell you that all you need is new coping skills! Caramba!!!! And he stopped Aubagio due to lots of infections and starting me on Capoxone even though I have new symptoms!! I pity them, actually!

[jimeka]

Firstly Karen-x, if you are anything like me, I get anxious before my neurologist visit and afterwards no matter what they tell me I have a cry, due to pent up emotions so don't worry it's normal and good for you.

agapepilgrim, you too have had yet another trying visit. Your strength encourages me, I have a brain like a furred up kettle, so I refuse to have another brain MRI. I don't need some whipper snapper telling me I have more lesions, there is nothing they can do for me so why bother putting myself through the anguish. I don't need them to tell me I am getting worse. Like you said they should spend a week in our bodies then they may understand what life is really all about with ms. All I know is be thankful for any blessings that come along. I guess I will get up now, see what today as to offer, blessings Jimeka

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Awwww Karen-x ~hugs~ crying is good for you! As long as you pick yourself up afterwards and keep fighting. And placing one foot in front of the other!!! No one can say why YOU want to cry, but l sure can understand it. It's your body and you don't want it to change, and you have no control over it.

I feel that's that's one of the hardest thing about this monster, no matter how hard we try. It's gonna do what it wants to, when it wants to. And we are along for the ride.

So cry Karen, just make sure you pick yourself up, and if you can't on your own, KNOW WE ARE HERE CHEERING YOU ON! We will help you back up! And wipe your tears☺💕

Jes💕

[ddeadred]

Because it's happening... to you... and you have little control... BUT taking your meds as directed IS HELPING! and it sounds like you have a neuro who is ENGAGED... That makes it all worth the efforts YOU put into the mix to take CARE of yourself! You are ahead in the game the MonSter is playing when you take the best care of YOU that you can!!!

Now I reinforce MYSELF with my own words... Funny how that works...

[Karen-x]

GasLight

[Karen-x in reply to Karen-x]

OK, I did not hit submit!!!

[GasLight in reply to Karen-x]

Karen-x

[GasLight in reply to Karen-x]

Reminds me of a game we had when I was a kid-- ring the neighbor's doorbell, and then run away quickly before they came to the door. . . .

Somehow, the "ring-and-run" game does not work as well in our modern, digital age. 😜

-- c

[Karen-x in reply to GasLight]

Lmao, that's fun! I used to love doing that to people.

[Morllyn in reply to GasLight]

GasLight , My brothers and I used to play this also.

[Karen-x]

GasLight dmaskal1 erash ddeadred agapepilgrim Jesmcd2 jimeka thanks for your comforting replies. I thank God everyday I have you all to tell how I feel and you understand!!!!

I have figured out my tears and my work dreams. All this time, well only 2 years, I have been hoping this was all a mistake. I hoped That I don't really have MS, that all my symptoms and the few lesions I had were all from something else, or better from nothing. I deep down hoped that my lesions were from a period of uncontrolled high blood pressure. I wished my physical symptoms were psychological not neurological. After all, I'm nuts and I could so talk myself into symptoms.....

Well, yesterday wiped away my last vestige of denial. And now I must admit I have this for life, that my life is forever changed. So, I cry!!! And cry some more.

But don't worry Jes, I will get back up punching. I AM a fighter. I have always been a fighter. It's how I went from a pregnant, terrified, high school senior with an abusive boyfriend to a very successful CPA.

I will strive! And my God gets me there.

Karen

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Karen-x]

Always knew you were a fighter Karen-x !!! They say crying cleanses the soul. We are always here for you!

Jes🌠

[agapepilgrim in reply to Karen-x]

Karen-x

[agapepilgrim in reply to agapepilgrim]

Karen-x

[WAshingtongirl]

Everyone else here has shared what I would have said, but far more elequently than I ever could have. So I am sending you a hug, Karen-x , and praying for comfort and peace. For acceptance of these new changes, and the strength and courage to keep on going on, not giving in, not allowing these changes to change who you are. 💝

[greaterexp]

It's our party, so we'll cry if we want to!

We can cry together here, and I'm grateful for that.

I do hope you feel better after having cried. We keep so much pressed down emotionally for the sake of ourselves and everyone else. Having a healthy release is a good thing, I think.

We're all with you.

[agapepilgrim]

Karen-x