Not a good year

[Fee09]

I need some help. Does anyone know of any resourses that help with housing for those of us on disablity? It seems that my marriage is ending and I will be needing somewhere for me and my daughter to live, in the very near future. I live in Southern California and I'm not sure where to turn, just kind of lost right now

[jimeka]

Fee, I wish I could help you, all I can do is pray for your situation, I am sure someone on here will know what you have to do to get the help you need. If you lived in the uk I would have advised for your husband to move as it his responsibility to provide a roof over his daughters head. I am so sorry you are going through this, I went through it 29 years ago, it's hard, but it's worth it for your own happiness and well being. There is light at the end of the tunnel, so hang in there, blessings Jimeka

[Fee09 in reply to jimeka]

She's not his daughter and we've only been married for 3 years. We got married right after I was diagnosed and I feel like he did it trying to do the right thing, but it's become more than he can handle

[jimeka in reply to Fee09]

It is really hard for men to really understand what we are going through. They try but you know yourself when you are having a bad day, we dont understand ourselves so it must be hard for them. Sometimes we have to sit back and try to understand how ms affects the ones closest to us. Somedays I could physically hit my hubby but he gives me a look to say, 'I am trying'. Ms is bad enough without it affecting our relationships we do need all the help we can get, so I am really sorry that your relationship has to close, it's a hard place to be in, but like I said I will continue to pray that it all turns out well for you and your daughter, blessings Jimeka

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Hi Fee09 lm so sorry your going through this😞 It's a very tough situation to be in. I know l have been there. But it does get better with time.

I would suggest getting ahold of the Dept. Of social services first off and see what kind of help they can provide. Do you have or have you applied for disability? As that is YOUR income not his.

Also get ahold of

Mymsaa.org

[phone] ext 154

They also have a live chat on there web site 😊

You can also get ahold of

NationalMSsociety.org

[phone]

Let me know how it goes and keep your chin up! 😊 ~Hugs~

Jes🎉

[GasLight]

Hello, Fee. I am facing many of these very same issues, as we speak. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Ironically, I was on the phone with the MSAA just yesterday, asking many of the same questions that you are now asking.

The MSAA navigator with whom I spoke was absolutely FANTASTIC. She provided me with several contacts and resources, in my immediate area, which may be able provide some assistance and/or further guidance. Following up on them each will be one of my primary tasks for this morning.

I would encourage you to give the MSAA a call (800-532-7667).

The National MS Society office is also a solid resource.

Best,

Christopher

[WAshingtongirl in reply to GasLight]

GasLight , I'm sorry you are going through this as well. I'm happy the MSAA was able to help you. They (and this forum they provide for us) are a wonderful resource and advocate for those of us with MS. Keeping you in prayer, Christopher. 💕Dawn

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear about your divorce hope all work out for you. To your question I live in Texas and unable to answer your question

[amc8184]

Hi Fee,

I'm very sorry for what you're experiencing at this time. I'd like to make some suggestions as for how to possibly find help with housing. I would encourage you to try to contact your local department of housing for information and resources, portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HU... as well as your local center for independent living office which assists those living with disabilities, ilru.org/projects/cil-net/c... contacting your county social services office can help as well, in addition to the United Way office in your area, as they too offer resources for housing assistance, 2-1-1, 211.org. I hope these resources are a helpful start for you Fee, wishing you the best, take care.

Sincerely,

Angel B.

MSAA Client Services Specialist

[Fee09]

Well as of this morning, he said I don't have to go anywhere and he's willing to work on things but I'm not sure if I am. So I guess I will be looking into counseling and some other things. Thank you all for the information and encouragement.

[WAshingtongirl]

Fee09 , I am so sorry to read this. Others have given you excellent resources and advice, but I wanted to add another thought here. I may be WAAAAY out of line because I really don't know all the circumstances, but...

I have been in a really good marriage for 38 years. In the past 6 months, I have gone through a couple really emotional times. I'm overly sensitive to what anyone says, take offense at the silliest things, and have been on the attack with my husband if he dares to even look at me the wrong way. If I were married to someone other than my saint of a husband, there would have been fireworks at our house, and most likely an exchanged of barbed words that would have left us both battered and wounded. Divorce may have even been brought up. Thankfully, that hasn't happened, but in my saner moments, I know how what I have said has hurt my husband, nonetheless, and I've wondered why he would even want to stay with me. 😐

I shared all that because I know MS has affected me this way. I am NOT a moody/drama person. The first time it happened in July, I called my neuro in tears. She immediately put me on 5 days of IVs. Sadly, IVs/steroids no longer work for me (now SPMS). But I've just gone through another couple days of this: exhausted following travel, another UTI, increased MS symptoms, etc. Thankfully, a dear friend on this forum coaxed me to call her. She encouraged me. She, along with another round of meds for my UTI, have me feeling much better now. I know my husband thanks her.

I'll be keeping you all in prayer. I hope you can work things out, but if not, I'm happy others have shared other options with you. 💕Dawn

[Fee09 in reply to WAshingtongirl]

If it were me being emotional I would understand, but it's not. He's not happy with his job and we are having some of the normal marriage issues. Unfortunately, he's never been married before and has no idea how to deal with any of it. We've been going in this vicious cycle for over a year now and I've asked to go to counseling several times. I'm not sure what my next move will be.

[WAshingtongirl in reply to Fee09]

Okay. Good to eliminate that. It took me a while to figure out what my problem was: that I had changed, not my husband or our marriage. I wanted to share that in case you hadn't considered that. It sounds as though you have some challenges. I'm so sorry. I hope he is willing to go to counseling with you. Sending you a hug. 💓

[Elle61]

Fee09, I've been on a waiting list for handicapped/low income housing for a year now in my state. I think I might be getting close to getting a place, not looking forward to living alone though, my kids are now adults. Check housing .org in your area. Good luck

[agate]

@Fee09, if you're in a fairly big town, the chances are that there's a little booklet about community resources somewhere, and you could look up Housing in it and start calling the numbers listed. Or the phone directory, if there is one, often has community resources listed in the front pages.

I've lived in HUD-subsidized rental housing for many years, first in WA state, then in OR, and my mother lived in similar housing in CA (years ago). There are often long waiting lists for project-based Section 8 housing, which is the kind I'm in, and the vouchers for Section 8 housing can be hard to obtain as well, but if you're willing to wait a while and keep making calls, the housing is often a very good deal. You need to be disabled or over 62 (maybe 65 in some locations) and low-income, and there is quite a bit of paperwork. The rent is usually 30% of your income, and medical expenses are deductible from your income if they're well documented.

Many cities have public housing as well.

Some years ago I heard of a housing arrangement in New Jersey that was just for people with MS--Kershaw Commons in Freehold, NJ.

Hope this is of some help.

[goatgal]

Fee09 I am so sorry to hear this. Those of us who have been in your position know how worried you are. Try looking on the internet with the search terms: housing assistance Los Angeles County (or Orange or Riverside etc). The county web page has information about resources for emergency housing, housing assistance for disabled, etc. There may also be internet information on shelters for women and children who are in danger. Try also the Salvation Army or the Rescue Missions: they probably have phone numbers of other resources providing help. Rental housing in our region is in short supply and expensive so there is lots of competition. When my marriage ended, I was fortunate to have friends with basements, attics, and sleeper couches who gave me space and time to find work and a place for a mother and child to stay. Stay strong, stay focused and know that thousands of others have passed through this and emerged safely. We are all with you.

[greaterexp]

I can only add to these wonderful suggestions that you will be in my prayers, and with the hope that you can make any decision slowly and with clarity.

Hang in there.

[Laurajam]

Hud housing!

[Fee09]

I will be looking into all of my options. I have time to make yhe best arrangements for myself. I was able to speak with my husband and we have come to an understanding that will allow us both the opportunity to get counseling and to move on to a better future with or without each other. We were able to be very open and mature about how we're feeling and what we expect, so I will be making some changes over the next few months to be happier and mentally healthier 😊

Thanks for all the support

[bavery207]

I would add to the wonderful suggestions made so far... If you go to an MS center they may have a social worker on staff that would know of resources in your area. I am not aware that regular neurologists have access to social workers but their offices may know of something. I wish you well as your future unfolds, know you are not alone and all the good folks here will be with you no matter what happens.