It may be a case where “the remedy is worse than the disease.” Have you tried exposure and response prevention without medication? ERP can effectively treat OCD without medication in many cases.
Have you expressed this to your doctor? Does your doctor know how important football is to you? Side effects can be worse when a SSRI is first started but then often lessen. Medications can be adjusted, switched, etc. See what your doctor suggests.
I would definitely try ERP as you may be able to decrease the dose or completely go off medication if you consistently attend therapy sessions. Check your insurance to identify ERP-trained professionals or browse PsychologyToday.com
Medications can have side effects, and it's a great pity that these have impacted on your sport and profession.
But there is also CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy - and it can be very effective against OCD. It's isn't the easiest of remedies, but with a bit of effort, it can really ease your symptoms.
There is also something called inositol - a naturally occurring substance that has had good results with OCD, although it isn't yet prescribed as a front line medication.
Large doses are needed - about 18 grams a day (that's grams, not milligrams!) and it can be bought over the counter in some health food stores and drugstores.
It's safe and pretty much free from side effects. It might be worth giving it a go.
Keep on with the football - don't let OCD take it away!
This is a complicated theme, my friend, and I am deeply sorry for what you have been passing through. Twenty years ago, I had my worst OCD crisis, which required a long treatment with sertraline. I wasn’t an athlete like you, but I was addicted to exercise and had a very strong body with big arms. I used to stay in the gym from 6 to 8:30 AM six days a week, and at night, I had boxing classes three times a week.
When the medication started, it was like hell: unmotivated, weak, and experiencing poor sleep. In the beginning, I tried to persevere, but it was very, very hard, and since the OCD symptoms were taking all my energy, I quit for a while. But after six months of treatment (which continued for years), I was able to get back and recover. The combination of OCD, treatment, and demotivation even lowered my testosterone levels.
I believe a sports doctor, in combination with the psychiatrist who prescribes the OCD medication, can help. Don’t give up on your life and dreams; try to find more solutions. I can’t imagine how hard this must be in a high-performance sport, but keep trying, my friend.
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