Not typical ocd

[Whitelove]

I have been suffering from OCD since childhood it ruin my whole life and now I am 32 years old.I have severe problem and now I have nothing in my life.I do things over and over again.I do some sins in my life and now I think that the sins are spread in my whole house and I can't touch any thing. I throw out my all precious things because they are dirty with my sins.Now I can't eat or drink easily in my home or with family.My ocd is with my whole family because they touch my things which are dirty for me and they never understand my problem.if there is some thing more important which I need and that is impossible to throw out then I washed it for hours then I washed myself. I cannot touch tap in washroom because all things are dirty with the effects of my dirty sins. There are a lot of obsession and compulsion but this one is more severe. I take medication but due to side effects I leave then symptoms become more severe. I am now waiting for my death.

[TomFed]

Hi. Look, it's a step in the right direction that you are reaching out here, you might receive great (and both not so great) advice as it's an open forum. Have you been diagnosed with OCD by a medical professional? It is important as only medical professionals, like ERP trained therapist, can diagnose you and provide effective help. And OCD is a disorder which responds well to treatment in many cases.

I don't even know what is not typical OCD, as this disorder can often conjure up the most unbelievable ideas and fears.. People with OCD usually have quite vivid imagination which peppered by OCD might blow off through the roof. But if it is really OCD that you have, these OCD themes and fears are only relevant to drafting exposure hierarchies and things like that. In all other ways, it doesn't matter you've got religious, contamination, pedophile or what not OCD theme currently running in loops, it is all OCD cycle and the scientific approach to the treatment (with slight variations) is very similar. No shame in any topic. All these OCD fears are illogical, no use to analyse them, and they don't represent who we truly are. Actually, it is opposite as OCD is an ego-dystonic disorder.

So find a way to get professional consultation and treatment if you haven't done that yet. Nowadays, it's even easier when we can reach out to ERP therapists online. And meanwhile connect with folks here, many of whom have dealt with OCD for a long time and have been or currently are going through the same torturing experience as you are. There is always light, you just might not see it at the moment as your vision is temporarily blurred by OCD, but don't give up.

[SteepinginSoil]

Hi Whitelove. I am sorry to hear that you're struggling so immensely with the weight of OCD right now. I too have dealt with this disorder since childhood and I know how profoundly it has impacted my life. I know that for me, cognitive-behavioral methods and exposure/response therapy have made a world of difference in my life - much more than any medication I've been on. Have you worked with a therapist in this domain? Also, there's a book called "Brain Lock" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz that my psychiatrist recommended to me and it was life-changing. Just remember that your thoughts do not define you, and you have the power to overcome adversity even though it may be an uphill battle. Peace be with you and feel free to reach out.

- Matt

[Whitelove in reply to SteepinginSoil]

My social relationship are totally zero. My family members are fighting with me when they triggered my ocd. I have no relationship. I hate people in my life. I read a lot of therapies but I cannot explain my problems with such therapist which I can't trust nor I want to explain my secret with them.I depends on medication. I want to be lonely in my life. I just want to go far away from people which I know.

[SteepinginSoil in reply to Whitelove]

I know that desire for social isolation. People can really suck, let’s face it. Unfortunately it seems like we really are social creatures and I have regretted every time I’ve withdrawn from people. The mental illness wants me to be alone. I do highly recommend finding a therapist that you can trust enough to at least have a couple sessions with. I’ve found that most therapists truly want to help, even if they’re flawed people just like us.

[Whitelove]

Do you have the book you mentioned ? Please

[SteepinginSoil in reply to Whitelove]

“Brain Lock” by Jeffrey M. Schwartz

[Whitelove in reply to SteepinginSoil]

Do you have pdf form please.

[111cas111 in reply to Whitelove]

idk if its the book but I found this by him accounseling.org/wp-content...

[Whitelove in reply to 111cas111]

🤲🤲

[SteepinginSoil in reply to 111cas111]

Thank you, yes this is the gist of that book.

[deValentin]

Maybe it's your present mood that makes you think that way. Maybe if you calm down when triggered and delay engaging in compulsions, and start to invest in OCD-free activities, you would gradually modify your mood, think differently, and have a more optimistic outlook on life. It's a self-feeding cycle worth experimenting.

OCD varies in severity depending on individuals and certain days, but the thought that one's OCD is unique, although common, may not be accurate. About 3/4 of OCD sufferers respond well to treatment like exposure and response prevention. I wish you could start to experience at least small successes.

[111cas111 in reply to deValentin]

Hm I did not think of it that way thank you!

[PiaAmI]

Please call your Psychiatrist right away.

[Mcfly64]

Hello Whitelove. How are you going? We all want to help you.

[Whitelove]

😭