I have just finished treatment for generalised anxiety disorder and my therapist has advised I take a small break before starting therapy for OCD. I am up and down at the minute, sometimes I feel in total despair and as though I canât bare to feel this way anymore, and other days, I feel better.
In the meantime between ending the treatment for GAD and beginning treatment for OCD, I am looking to continue to help myself, and I was wondering if anyone had any self help techniques they found useful alongside therapy and medication, does anyone have any useful book recommendations they could share please? or any experience in going to support groups? Iâm unsure how I would feel sharing so openly but I have heard that it helps also.
Thank you!
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Puppydog2222
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A self-help technique I also found useful was to determine where my window of choice lies. OCD makes you lose your freedom of choice, at least in your own eyes. My question was, at what point do I lose that freedom? In my case, I determined I was losing my freedom when I gave way to the temptation to seek absolute certainty to settle an issue that was troubling me. If I had a bad thought, does it mean I am a bad person? Am I in the right relationship? Is life worth living? Or I fell into the temptation of seeking a loss-free or a bizarre-thoughts-free life, or a zero-risk environment. Itâs where the downward spiral started because itâs no realistic to expect absolute certainty or a loss-free life, but I couldnât stop because I didnât know how else to regain some peace of mind. Itâs when CBT helped me to tolerate imperfections/losses in my life and be satisfied with reasonable arguments to make decisions.
thank you for your recommendations, I will definitely look into watching the above.
Yes thatâs an interesting perspective and view on OCD, I have asked myself similar questions regarding my life choices, and when I was a child, I suffered greatly with the need to be âgoodâ. I didnât understand what it was then, but I vividly remember being obsessed with the need to be well behaved at all times and never act out of line, and it wasnât always doable as a child, so everyday, I would tell myself that I would have a fresh start, which would have included every aspect of my life being perfect, which of course I know now, that is impossible as nothing is ever perfect, but when I did start this âfresh startâ and an intrusive thought came or I did something I determined was âbadâ, it resulted in me feeling as though I had failed at being âgoodâ. I have a feeling of both relief and sadness when I think of my younger self, relief because I now understand that I never was bad or strange, it was OCD, but also sadness, because it took so much of my childhood away from me as I spent so many nights upset and confused at what was happening to me.
I can relate to that: not missing a day of school, getting good grades, too hesitant to be more daring, more self-confident, finding easier to fit the mold of the perfect student. Then came the teenage years when going to the other extreme becomes more appealing, which could also stem from a lack of self-confidence.
Definitely I am grateful for my understanding of OCD now as I am older because it explains a lot of why how I felt how I did when I was a child, although recovery is overall, a wonderful thing, I do think that it can also be upsetting to accept and realise that many years of your life has been spent by being controlled over OCD, I also feel sorry for my younger self. I often look at my cousins and family members, who are aged 7/8 and remember how I felt at that age and how I couldnât imagine them feeling the way that I did, nor that I would ever want someone else to feel that way
Let me make a comment about "I feel sorry for my younger self". I had to line up my clothes a certain way before I went to bed and I fought bad thoughts about God, but I also had some good times. Did OCD completely overtake your childhood and left you with no good memories whatsoever?
No it didnât overtake fully and leave me with no good memories, I had a really lucky childhood and have a very loving family and was really well looked after as a child, which is partly why I feel sorry for my younger self, in terms of when OCD did take over. For example, if I had been out on a lovely day out with family, but rather than enjoying that time fully and being in the moment, my head was elsewhere, I went through a phase where because I was frightened of being kidnapped, I wouldnât touch anything that my family members hadnât touched, so I wouldnât touch a door handle or a railing, unless they had touched it first, because in my head I had the mechanism of âif someone else has touched it the same time as me, and someone is following me, they wonât know whoâs DNA is whoâs, to be able to follow and kidnap meâ. So rather than fully being in the moment, I was consciously always thinking and watching where I was putting my hands, and if I did ever happen to touch something accidentally, then I would just not be present in the moment at all and begin experiencing intrusive thoughts of being kidnapped, because I hadnât followed my own âsafety proceduresâ. Itâs more that although I had brilliant memories and a lovely childhood, it was always tainted by OCD and anxiety, I remember being on holiday with family but I was constantly having thoughts that people were watching me and looking for me, I wouldnât go to the toilet on my own until I was 15 due to this. I enjoyed my childhood but I suffered with OCD and thinking I was a bad child, and then a bad person as I grew older, and I never told anyone about it until I was around 18 and felt like it was only me who was feeling this way
I see that OCD can wreak havoc on a child's life. It must have been a relief to realize you were not alone to experience that type of disturbing thoughts, though their contents may vary. I don't mean to trivialize your experiences (they say keeping a sense of humour is good for OCD management), but your story about the DNA makes me think you had some qualities to make a good spy. âşď¸
Haha I definitely agree, thatâs one positive I suppose, I didnât miss a trick when I was younger! đ¤Łđ¤Ł yeah it was 100% a relief knowing that there were people like myself! Yes itâs better in ways, as Iâve got older, the themes that I worry over have changed in line with things happening in my life, but Iâve been having CBT therapy since September and become a lot more open with friends and family about what is really going on and I think talking to people about it, has probably been what has helped me the most!! Iâm currently looking to do my masters in psychology also, as I would like to work in mental health, I think thatâs the main positive out of it all really, I think anyone who has experienced it first hand, understands how difficult it is and itâs something Iâve become quite passionate about over the years too! đ
That's one more positive thing about your experiences as a child. If you work in mental health, they enable you to be more understanding of people with the same condition and more knowledgeable about which treatments work and which don't.
My go-to books for OCD are Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and The OCD Workbook - both excellent. Another I find helpful is Mind over Mood - Changing How you Feel by Changing the Way you Think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A Padesky.
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