Checking behaviours

[saharagirl101]

I have OCD and it frequently changes from one obsession to another, and the rituals that go with that. But there's one ritual that's kinda snuck in, based on my fear of spiders, and now I find myself constantly checking the roof for spiders, or visually checking paint blemishes to make sure they're not spiders or other critters. Or even the floor which may have spots on it or a speckled surface I'm checking to make sure nothing is moving on it. I check my pillow on the bed twice every night before I trust putting my head on it. Even though this is based on a fear of spiders, does this sound like an OCD behaviour that I should bring up to my Dr? Thanks.

[MothFir]

So much OCD consists of a reasonable fear or behavior that is taken to extremes. It sounds like your not-uncommon fear of spiders has become an obsession that has led to behaviors that a non-OCD person would not engage in, even if they did fear spiders. I'd definitely mention it to your OCD doctor.

[PerfectionistgirlNYC in reply to MothFir]

Omg that was so well-put. 😊

[Precious2023]

Please quickly mention it to your doctor as it is an obsession with a compulsion of checking. The earlier you start the treatment the better. I hope you feel better

[PerfectionistgirlNYC]

As someone with perfectionist/just right OCD, I’ve also struggled with checking compulsions for many years. And it’s not even close. You’re one of us. Lol. I’m NOT a doctor! But I’ve done the is-it-a-speck-of-dirt-or-a-bug thing too. That’s OCD. Thank God at least there’s such great help out there nowadays. ♥️

[Precious2023 in reply to PerfectionistgirlNYC]

Hummm, it's really a struggle and silly OCD cycle....making itself so real each time...I laugh at some of the silly things OCD make me do when I overcome such experience as if it won't re-occur or create another one.

It's really frustrating and distressing...you know!

I have been praying to God to heal me totally, I don't want to experience this OCD of a thing forever. I am just tired.

Do you feel same?

[aparente001]

Do bring it up.

My son had this specific phobia and with ERP he was able to overcome it.

[saharagirl101]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I see my Dr in a couple of weeks which isn't too long to wait and I'll tell him then. Be interesting to see what ERP he gets me to do.

[MothFir in reply to saharagirl101]

The OCD theme that finally drove me to ERP was a fear of rabies and, in turn, bats. I love the outdoors (and bats too, actually), but I was checking leaves, shadows, and other objects that my OCD suggested could be bats, sounds and movement that might have been bats, and anything that I brushed against, even if I was reasonably sure it was only grass or branches. My ERP consisted of not performing these checks and treating the stimuli like a "normal" person would -- i.e., ignoring them unless there was a solid reason to think they might be bats or other animals. It was very hard not to check and "know for sure" what I'd seen, heard, or felt, but it got easier and now I don't even notice the stimuli nearly as much. Good luck!

[SCC1 in reply to MothFir]

That is a very hard one for me to overcome, ignoring the compulsion to check things. I also do it automatically, and if I don't, I don't feel complete. Like the checking makes me feel whole or "solid".

I almost wouldn't know what to do with myself if I couldn't check things just to be sure I wasn't seeing something. I have the problem of checking the walls or floor to make sure that whatever spot I saw was not a bug, specifically a spider or other crawling thing. I also check the ground if I am sitting on the porch and think I see something.

There have been a lot of times when there actually was a spider/other bug, and I had to check everything, including my clothes, to see if there was anything around or on me.

I will check many times w/in one time of going outside. Check the door or part of the outside of the house. It is horrible to feel like I have to check everything. And if there is some bug, I fear there will be more somewhere (in the house), and I REALLY need to check everything more to be sure everything is okay-not a bug.

Is there any way beside ERP to get over this checking? I do not have a therapist who does ERP, at least I don't think she does. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Thank you!

[SCC1]

I also check to see if everything's ok w/ my cat or another outside animal if I (think) I hear barking or my cat meowing. If I'm in another part of the house and I hear something or think I do, I will listen many times to see if I was hearing what I thought I did.

I love animals so much, and if I think one may be "in trouble"-outside in the cold or something else wrong or thinking my cat is meowing because he may be in pain or something, I have to make sure he is okay and that the dogs (outside), are okay as well.

I listen very closely to see if I hear more barking/other, and if I do, (at least for my cat), if I'm outside, I will go inside the house or the room he's in and check to make sure he is okay. For the dogs (possibly) barking, I check outside to see if I see anything out of the ordinary happening w/ an animal.

I will ask my mom if she heard anything (outside), or if that was Li'l Bit (my cat), meowing.

I don't know what to do if you're not supposed to check or make sure of something. How do you REALLY know something is nothing unless you can make sure of it? If it's possible that "it" could be something, how do you think/do otherwise?

If I don't check, I may miss something that really could be happening at that time.

Please help, if someone can.

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MothFir, you had said (I'm paraphrasing here), unless there is a solid reason to think there is something "there", one can try to ignore the stimuli. How do you know if it's solid reasoning so you don't have to check, or if there's really something you need to?

Thank you.

[MothFir in reply to SCC1]

Hi SCC1, sorry it's taken me awhile to respond. I have gotten better at recognizing "solid reasoning" by imitating the behavior of other people who share my values and sense of responsibility but do not have OCD. In the beginning I consulted my wife to see how she would respond to certain situations that triggered me.

Obviously you have to be careful not to turn this into reassurance, or to think it represents a permanent solution. The goal is to get to a place where you can trust your own judgement and not ask someone about every trigger. I don't think you should say things like "I saw one bug -- can you promise me there aren't any more in the house?" or "I heard a faint noise outside -- are all the animals okay?" The person you're asking doesn't know the answers for sure any more than you do. They're left with the choice of telling you, "Yes, everything's fine," which is not 100% certain, or "I think everything is okay," which won't satisfy your OCD and will leave you right back where you started.

Instead you could say, "I just saw a spider on the porch where I was sitting -- would you check the whole porch to see if there are more, or would you look over your whole self to make sure another one is not on you?" A rational person will say, "No, seeing one spider would not cause me to do that," and then your job is to not do it either. You will be uncomfortable, and you'll feel like something important is left undone, but that is because you have OCD. You can't trust your brain's impulses when it comes to the topic of bugs and spiders, so you have to trust someone else's for now. The feeling of "incompleteness" will be strong but you have to resist the urge to make it go away by doing a compulsion. The incompleteness will not last forever, it will lose its strength, and in time it will stop appearing every time you are triggered.

Again, you have to be careful not to turn this into a compulsion. If you see a different spider on the porch the next day, try not to ask your trusted person the same question you asked the day before. You now already know the rational answer to "What would a non-OCD person do if they saw one spider on the porch?", so go straight to the step of resisting the urge to check.

Lots of people will say that getting over OCD means "learning to live with uncertainty." This is certainly (🙂) true, but I don't think it's the whole story. OCD makes us feel an intense level of life-or-death uncertainty (a level that no human would just "learn to live with") about things that do not really have such dire uncertainty. Part of getting better is realizing that this intense uncertainty is not real, and that our OCD themes have only the same acceptable level of uncertainty that we live with just fine in other areas of life. You likely ride in cars even though you don't "REALLY" know that you will get to your destination safely, and you eat solid food without "REALLY" knowing that you won't choke to death on it. But the uncertainty around those situations is acceptably low, just like it is when you see one spider or hear a noise that might be an animal in distress. It doesn't call for an extreme response. The goal is to treat the spider/animal uncertainty the same way you treat the car/food uncertainty.

Also, Li'l Bit is a great cat name!

[SCC1 in reply to MothFir]

Thank you MothFir, for your detailed explanation. I will re-read it to make sure I am understanding it completely. It is a very good reference for me to look back on, and I appreciate that you took the time to explain things to me.

Also, thank you for your comment about the name Li'l Bit. He is a great cat and I don't know what I'd do without him.

Thanks so much again! 🐱

[Gavriel]

yes, Gavrial

[Bobby5000]

"So much OCD consists of a reasonable fear or behavior that is taken to extremes. " I have what seems to be OCD at first glance. Leaving the house I will check burners and other items to make sure they're not left on. But that makes sense because occasionally I have left things on and I am address a real potential hazard. I repetitively check things at an airport but again, that's because I have lost things and one time in a hurry left a whole suitcase and thought it was stolen, and I realized 2 minutes of thoughtful checking is better than 2 hours of frantic searching.

Let's be real, spiders are not a substantial danger to most people. Keeping things clean makes sense. Obviously I share the thought of checking with your counselor and discussing medicine. But consider a cleaning routine, and sensible steps to address this. Then in a good comment, try to realize okay, spiders aren't really a problem. Once your conscious self understand this, then when you get the compulsion try to recognize and overcome this.

You probably can't eliminate bad thoughts all together but can reduce their severity and figure out a method to deal with them.