I am sleep deprived and fed up!!! A bit embarrassed too!

[Sjdjdiudehdhd]

Does anyone have experience with obsessing over your bladder and using the toilet hundreds of times at night before you go to sleep?? I am so tired and need this to stop!!!

This is a weird one, but I have been suffering, and losing precious sleep by feeling like my bladder is constantly full, right when I get into bed for the night. I get up to use the toilet every five seconds, and HAVE to make sure my bladder is empty before i sleep. If I don't get up 10000 times to push out every last drop, i wont sleep for the rest of the night, as I can't take my mind off my bladder, and making sure it's totally empty. I have this constant sensation of having a full bladder, even though I don't, and I immediately have to get up to make sure theres nothing in there when I feel the slightest bit of pressure. I cannot ignore the sensation, and if I even think about it for a second, the feeling instantly returns and I have to go to the toilet. I cannot even have a single drop in my bladder, and I am pretty sure I am injuring my pelvic muscles from all the crazy pushing I do to get that drop out. It only happens at night.

This is TORTURE. I have been experiencing it for over a decade now, but its to the point where i am up all night and using the bathroom upwards of 100 times, and the only way i can fall asleep is by just bringing myself to the brink of absolute exhaustion and I eventually just fall straight asleep, but I have to fall asleep before the feeling is back or its up I go again to the bathroom. It's embarrassing, as I have roommates, a partner I share a bed with, and when I go on trips with friends I don't want them to know about it. I don't want to disturb their sleep by getting up endless times, and quite frankly it must be weird to them that someone would have to use the bathroom so much at night. The embarrassment and worry of being in shared sleeping situations causes me to experience this sensation more, and lose out on sleep because I lie in bed fixated on my bladder and stressed I can't use the toilet one more time for reassurance that my bladder is empty.

Honestly, this obsession/compulsion makes me angry, and I am just fed up. Of all the weird things I could obsess about, why this. I hate it.

Thank you!

[Jackiemm1]

I feel so bad for you, yes it is torture. You must get help. ERP and medicine could give u much needed relief. What U r describing sounds so painful. I did something similar but only 10 times a night but it was so intrusive I would get so angry because I felt I had to do it. Finally, I got help as I was headed for a breakdown.

Now I have some days that I struggle but nothing like it was. My only regret, why did I wait so long to get help? Good luck. You can do this and it will get better. Stay strong.