On therapy and on personal goals.

[Anonymous00010001]

I have lived with OCD for a little under a decade now, although I suspect the nature of my obsessions began much earlier in adolescence. As it stands right now, I really want to go back to therapy and finally try medication. Specifically SSRIS, as a first attempt. The problem is with my career goals; without getting to detailed, there is a really important and prestigious competition that I wish to enter, to make a name for myself. This has involved my purchasing materials out of pocket, and putting me under a financial burden. My OCD has been quite relentless these past 5 months, and has really taken a turn for the worse these past few weeks.

It also coincides that I have finished purchasing the bulk of the materials I need for my project, but have used up what remaining funds I had set aside. Now, I'm working on paying off the remaining debt, because I haven't any intention on giving these materials up, not when they have taken me a year to get. And this project could really really help me make a name for myself in my profession. Which could lead to big financial gains, and an easier way to access the treatment that I need.

I'm caught between the need to take care of my mental health at the expense of my career, or pushing through my mental anguish in the hopes of achieving financial success and an improved reputation. (Even though I know that the chance of me winning is based on factors outside of my control.)

I don't intend to give up on my career goals, but I feel devastated that I can't get the treatment I need to possibly help, because SSRIS may or may not even help.

I'm wondering if others have ever experienced these difficult decisions, and they have coped with them

[newmercies]

Hi there, thanks for sharing. I don't know the details of your situation; I do want to say that your mental health is very important. Having career goals is a good thing, however, if it is causing you extreme stress and exacerbating your symptoms of OCD it may be worthwhile to consider taking a pause or pursuing something else. Just my thoughts. Also, I am currently on an SSRI and have found it to be very helpful, combined with ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention), which is an evidence-based treatment approach for individuals with OCD.

I hope this is helpful.

[Anonymous00010001 in reply to newmercies]

Thank you for your perspective. My apologies for not responding more quickly, life happened and the question became buried.

I've managed to get help and have started taking Zoloft. It hasn't made the intrusive thoughts go away, and some of its emotional blunting has me worried, but the effect it has had on my anxiety and depression have been a great improvement. I'm still feeling their effects, as I've started on a low dose, but I'm also managed to find someone in network who might make my therapy actually affordable.

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate your time and wish you all the best.