A set back

[ISTY]

Hello. So as a reminder I do not have OCD, my almost 11 yo son does.. I’m here to learn and support anyone I can as I’ve been living with this for a few months now since his diagnosis and my understanding of this disease.

So he was doing quite well- had ERP for a few months and did the work to learn and fight this with therapy twice a week. Then, he hurt his throwing arm pretty bad and he’s a baseball player. Playing was a tremendous part of his therapy. Now, he’s been out of the game and most activity during this time of his life that should be “fun”- no ball, no playoff games and championship game, no end of school activities with his buddies. He feels like he has the worst luck and that his life sucks. The frustration is starting to get to him and I’m noticing more compulsions and sadness. He is in his head again and feeling despair. Any advice? We had a tiny window of “joy” and now he has to endure this set back. I feel so sorry for him but am trying so hard to stay positive and strong and just move him through the days as best as possible. Thanks all.

[tri2befree]

I am so sorry for all that your son is experiencing (and all that your family is experiencing) in the midst of his injury. Let me just start by saying that I think you are such an amazing parent for supporting your son on his OCD journey and seeking to really understand OCD as a way to support him. You are an inspiration!!

As for your son's injury, I imagine that is very tough. I am also an athlete and know that some of the toughest points of my life have been in the midst of injury (as sports have served as my OCD outlet for 10+ years!). My heart breaks for him, especially as he feels like he can't spend time with his friends in end of the year activities. I'm glad he has started to fight the OCD through therapy and have absolutely no doubt that he will continue to do so, but I know it is hard when other aspects of life seem so heavy. I am also confident that when he gets through this tough time, his recovery will be even stronger. But until then, is there a way for him to feel like he can still really help the team? Perhaps talking with the coaches about him helping out on the sidelines in some way as the best supporter there can be? I wonder if there is a way for him to still find value and feel like he has a purpose with his team. I think sometimes OCD makes us want to feel "needed" and "valued." Perhaps there is a way for him to do that even without playing? Thinking of you and your son - sending you both all the love in the world during this tough time!

[ISTY in reply to tri2befree]

Your reply means so much!!! Thank you for the support. ♥️

[MyOCD123]

Hi! So sorry that he injured his arm, especially since baseball was a source of happiness for him. I remember when my OCD first started to show up I was also 11 and I went undiagnosed until a few months ago at the age of 23. At that age, I was in a constant state of anger and confusion over what was happening with my mind and felt like I had no control over my life. If there is anything I wanted during that time, it was understanding and comfort from my parents and it sounds like he has that in you. He's a lucky dude! My advice would be to keep him occupied with anything that brings him the slightest bit of joy. The busier the body and mind, the less time for OCD to rear it's ugly head. Keep up with the ERP and see if there are possibly any different ways you can make it a little more fun for him. I'm sure his therapist will have suggestions. Also, I normally wouldn't say spoiling a child is a good thing but I was your sons age all those years ago and I know how hard it is to have OCD as an adult, let alone as a child. Anything you can do to make him feel a little special right now could help to keep him positive. Please tell him that we're all rooting for him! I was 11 once with OCD and I'm still here and have had plenty of good years. I'll say a prayer for him tonight.

[ISTY in reply to MyOCD123]

I so appreciate your words and genuine sentiment and prayers. He is such a good kid, it hurts me to see him struggle so. We are treating him special and will continue to and are distracting and loving him extra during this time for sure. He goes to PT for his arm and fortunately they too are very supportive- telling him “there’s nothing better than a good come back!” Trying to build up his motivation and confidence. I will keep you guys posted on his progress we will conquer this time! Thank you again for the kind words and support.

[runforever]

Hi there! I am sorry to hear about this setback your son is having. I also have a son who was recently diagnosed close to the same age. My son plays lacrosse and he uses a lot of pent up aggression out on the field, so I can't imagine how your son is trying to manage not being able to play right now. I have a small suggestion, maybe set up a "conditioning" type program for his time at home that he can't practice on his own. Focus on muscle groups that will still help his overall fitness, that way some of that frustration can work itself out at the same time.

I also agree with the other person who said to see if his coaches would allow him to sit on the sidelines during practices/games/tournaments, etc. That would still give him a great sense of inclusion and hopefully his teammates help him remain positive.

I think the hardest part is not letting this one instance set him back. We are still so early in therapy, that when I see a good couple of days I get so hopeful. Then those ugly days rear their head and I hate seeing my son hurt. So mom-to--mom, I feel you. You are doing the best that you can given the situation. Praying for a quick healing on your sons arm so he can get back to baseball soon!

[ISTY]

I so appreciate your words and kindness I will keep you guys posted thanks so much