For the past month I have been dealing with a unwanted thought. The word suicide runs through my head all day and it frightens me at times. Recently, I read a fanstic book on how to embrace these thoughts as they are just thoughts. Been trying EBT and I haven't received much relief from anxeity and thoughts after much practice. I'm afraid if I go to a therapist and reveal this it will be inferred that suicide is my intention when it's the complete opposite. I'm a avid runner and cyclist who enjoys life. I'm looking to connect with people who have or had similar situation. I would like to speak with people without judgement and support.
Written by
MLG978PINK
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I have these thoughts. I don’t know how to stop them but I do know it’s my anxiety/ocd playing with my head. It is so frighten yes. But as long as you know they are nothing more than that “thoughts”. It’s not you thinking these things. It’s the anxiety. Which helps me a little bit but sometimes it is so strong. I even thought to just go do it. Kill yourself. Over and over. With high panic and dizziness. I’m still here. So are you. Keep strong. Allow the thought to pass.
Thank you for your support. It's comforting. You said it best, ". It’s the anxiety. Which helps me a little bit but sometimes it is so strong. I even thought to just go do it. Kill yourself. Over and over". I had a moment this morning where I cried because I'm just exhausted by it. I was up all night.
I'm trying to be patient and kind to myself through this process. I know that these thoughts cant harm me. One question for you please? Sometimes I noticed when my anxiety is low the thoughts are still there however less strong. Does the same happen to you?
Thanks again for your support. Talking it out helps.
That’s ok. I wanted you to know you’re not alone. Intrusive thoughts are horrible and most that suffer from anxiety have them whatever the thought is.
Yes. I do. I always try to think that cos I’m having a sort of good day. The anxiety doesn’t like it and wants to bully me a little more and sends them messages. I just keep saying to myself. They are thoughts. Just thoughts and I’m not acting on them. I breath through them and try to do something whilst accepting them too. It’s like it isn’t me when this happens.
It is scary but you must accept and they do get less frequent at times. I have read Dr Claire Weekes who explains a lot about anxiety and she has helped me understand it. Why not try the book or you tube. Really helped me.
If it helps I cry to sometimes when it all gets too much. But hang on in there lovely. You got this. ⭐️
As a psychologist who works primarily with OCD, this can be a common OCD symptom. A therapist who has experience in treating OCD will understand these thoughts for what they are. Please don’t let that fear keep you from seeing someone who can offer help. I know it is scary to disclose these things but it won’t shock a good therapist. There is hope!
Thank you! I do believe there is hope and excited to change my attitude towards these thoughts. Can you suggest the best way to introduce/share these thoughts to an OCD therapist so he or she is comfortable?
Yes I understand and I am happy to chat with you. At times when rituals become over bearing you just feel like driving off a bridge even though you have so many future goals in life. You are not alone
Thank you for reaching out. Yes, it's frustrating at times yet comforting to know I'm not alone. Our future is bright and look forward to learning about how anxiety fuels these types of thoughts. I have noticed that a good night's sleep has played an important role with how I deal with the day. I'm learning to accept and live along side these thoughts. I'm here to chat whenever you'd like as well.
I completely understand what it is like to experience unwanted and intrusive thoughts. Your example, the word “suicide”, is similar to the repetition that occurs inside of my own brain on a daily (hourly) basis. This can definitely be very frightening. I am happy to hear that you read a book on how to embrace the thoughts and accept that they are there! The combination of therapy and medication greatly helps with what you are currently suffering with. If you go to a professional therapist that deals specifically with OCD, then there is no way that they will assume that suicide is your intention. This type of behavior is widely understood throughout the community of licensed OCD therapists (not that I am one). I am glad to hear that you enjoy life! I attempt to do the same! It is, of course, much harder when my brain is constantly preoccupied by intrusive and unwanted thoughts.
I am glad that you have shared your recent experience(s).
There is no judgment in this community. None at all
Recently, I have spoke to a therapist and our session went really good. Like you, my thought runs through my head early and often but notice myself observing the anxiety and floating through it. Trying to change my attitude towards it.
Thanks for reaching out and making me feel like I'm not alone.
He'll I have just found your post. I have suffered the same thoughts as you on and off 30 years and am at the moment. Mine starts off by thinking I'm going to die ( I am healthy). Then my brain starts thinking ah but what if I harm myself? Then the anxiety starts. This is on a loop in my head 24/7.I then start trying to check and reassure myself all day. I am on citalopram at the moment after a few failed ad's . It is only my fourth day on current med but have been suffering since mid September. Hope you find a way of easing yours.x
Thanks for posting and sharing a bit about what you've been going through. The great thing about this is we're learning new ways to deal with anxiety and these thoughts. Junk thoughts play in my head all day and everyday but I push on with all of my daily activities. I wish you all the best and please reach out if you ever want to chat!
Thank you so much. I also manage basic things, make myself. I can manage most of my intrusive thoughts but when I start thinking (the horrors) as I call them I get frightened and try to reason with myself which makes it worse. Oh well , the sun will shine again for us one day.xx
I know how you feel when you try to start talking/reasoning with oneself. I try to just "float" along side the anxeity which is often, but I do notice the thoughts are less "loud" when I just go with it. One thing that has helped for me is being around family and friends...gives me comfort. We will rise above and be ok! 😉
Hi MLG978PINK hope your well I have the same intrusive thoughts day in and day out! My doctor told me it is normal to have these sort of thoughts with anxiety/ocd, I get really upset & so scared when I have them it feels so real I think I will act on my thoughts. I have had these thoughts for 3 month now but I am trying to learn that it's just a thought and I will never act out on it even if it feels so real.
I pray you have a speedy recovery you are not alone more people then you think have intrusive thoughts about ending the own life, best of luck to you and well wishes xx
Thank you so much for reaching out. It's been a few weeks of going through this new experience for me and like you, learning thoughts are just thoughts. I'm an avid runner and cyclist so keeping active has helped.
Hey there! Today was a pretty good day even though my thoughts were swirling around all day. I was very impressed by the way I just kept moving along with my day. My anxeity wasn't too bad today and symptoms weren't unbearable. How are you making out? How was your day today?
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Horrible POCD thoughts 
OCD thoughts 
Intrusive thoughts
Intrusive Thoughts
