Shingles and Depressed

Yesterday,I was diagnosed with shingles. I was taken off hydrea and put on anti -virus for a week. I am so sick and tired of being in pain that my head is spinning. Noone I know can relate to what I'm going through, I want to be a hermit. I am cranky all the time. I feel so bad for my kids, they don't deserve a sick mom. I cry and cry, it helps for the moment and then life has to resume. I really just want some empathy from my husband. He just doesn't get it.

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  • I totally get were your coming from I have experienced this attitude with a family member and the closer you are to you the more it hurts . You must be feeling incredibly rough at the moment so need to be taking extra care of yourself . What we have to remember is that its so hard to emphasise with our conditions partly because it is so complex. My own way of dealing with this is to just keep explaining how it is affecting me and hope it will eventually sink in :). We also have to try and see things from the other persons view, your husband could be in denial because he is scared for you, he could be more stressed than normal or if he has now got more caring responsibility he might have a lot of adjusting himself. I hope I have been a little helpful and remember to take good care of yourself and try not to worry because that won't help you :):).

  • Very sound advice from josiede! Try to stop beating yourself up about being grumpy - just try to focus on all the good things there are in your day to day life. Shingles is no fun - I've been t here several times! if "blessedwithsix" means you have six children then you certainly have your hands more than full. I have four and when I was down or finding it hard to cope I used to single one or two of them out to have some quiet Mumtime - reading, cuddle up watching TV, or just talking with them. Mine are grown up now and seem to have turned out ok even if they did have to suffer with a grumpy mum at times!

    Look after yourself

  • Hi BlessedWithSix, Like most peops posting on this site I can relate to you as Im constantly looking to go into my 'cave' and hide away. Whilst my wife understands she gets fed up when I choose to spend time alone in the bedroom especially like now when our grand-daughter is here but it wears me out and I feel a grumpy mood erupting. i also sometimes shy away from visiting relatives etc which causes problems and isnt helpful I know. . I dont know how you do it with such a young family to manage, Im at a different stage of my life to you and your hubby so have the advantage of finding my quiet time where I can chill down.

    I do know from experience - I get regular infections- that when you get another illness to cope with on top of your MPN it hits you that bit harder than normal and it can take you longer to fight it off and pick yourself up from it. Unfortunately I have no magic answer I just try to stay positive and think of something 'special' I will do with my wife when Im better like go to the Lake District for a day out or visit her sister in scotland for the weekend. I need a goal or something to drive me on.

    From what you say and the way you describe things like you put in your title you may have some form of depression. Have you considered going to your doctor with your hubby maybe or if you can see a psycotherapist - I dont know how the healthcare system works in the US. You know you can share your feelings with us on here, although it has its limitations regarding getting those close to us to fully appreciate how we feel but someone might just offer up that one little gem that will make a difference to your day or your life.

    I hope very much that you feel better soon and dont forget youve got many friends to call upon here. Cheerz for now Im chilled and going for a Grand-daughter fix coz I can hear her singing along to C Beebies.

  • So sorry to hear you are in such discomfort, really feel for you , hope you find your way of coping.Big Hugsxx

  • Hi I have just read your profile and above reply's,and its quite clear you have not got it easy.

    I am very lucky to have a very supportive & understanding wife although we have had our ups and downs as a result of my ET and my families total denial of the effects of ET,and pressures of raising a family, even though we have a strong relationship about 4 years ago we went for counselling and it really helped.We have one at university & two teenagers, and are fostering twins.this is a full time job for us and I have no idea how you cope with your illness and six children you deserve more than just some empathy! Does your husband have access to this site ? It might help him in coming to terms with your illness and please remember we are always here if you need someone to talk to - you may even be interested in looking on the MPD voice site at the 'buddying'. good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

  • Hi, i have read all the above reply's and agree with what everyone has said. it is times like this that you need support from those around you, family and friends. does your husband attend your hospital appointments with you, if not this may be helpful if you could get your hematologist to explain to your husband how you may feel some days. my husband found it easier to understand how i was feeling by attending forums and meeting other people suffering with mpd's . take care, hope your feeling better soon.

  • Hello Blessed with six,

    I must first say that you are doing great in the first place, just by having 6 children!

    That is amazing,I know as I am one of 12...

    Then on top of that ET and on top of that shingles. That you wouldn't need help and support is not just an option.

    To cry is like open the valve and let some steam out, so don't be too worried about doing that.

    As you say, it helps right there and then but you also need that longterm support. As said above, we are all here for one reason and we know 'stuff' about our problems and can easily relate to what you are saying. Also, some good advise above, ask your husband to come along to see the doctor and if not, maybe he could talk to him over the phone?

    If you have the time, the energy and want to, write a letter about how you feel. If you prefer, when it is done, not to give it to your husband, that is fine, but you had the chance to put it all into words.

    If you do give it to him, he will have time to read it, not only once but again and again, and it will allow him to think a bit about it.

    When someone gave me this advise, I wasn't keen to do it, but holy macaronis, what it helped me! Maybe , with today's all technical apparatus available, you could record your message, but it requires a bit of more editing etc.

    Hope you will feel better and get better very soon!

  • Don't know about you 'blessedwithsix', but I feel supported just reading your replies. I know my pain can be relentless (I have costochondritis as well at the moment), but how amazing are our friends on here. I just wish I could hug you all. x

  • Also struggle with depression big time, but ok when pain goes away for a day or so! :-)

  • I very much hope things have improved for you over the last couple of weeks. Good luck to you and your family. Cheers for now

  • Things are looking up. Thank you for all your uplifting words. The shingles are gone. My counts went down after being off Hydrea for a week so I am off for another month. Never thought that would of happened.

    And, yes, I do have six children under the age of 12. I think life would be harder without them then with them.

    God Bless

  • Well done you. Im sure your six give you strength - though I still dont know how you do it. My lovely Grand-daughter wears me out after haf an hour but they do take your mind off your ailments and give you a different focus. Fair play to you you're obviously a very happy and proud mum and Im pleased things have picked up for you all. Take care and good luck.

  • I know how you and your husband feel over your suffering with shingles my husband had an outbreak of shingles October 2012 he is still suffering with the pain the shingles were in all over his head and ocer his right eye the pain is indiscribeable and still is his sight was saved by the specialist. And has since been diagnosed with primary mylofibrosis his spleen is enlarged at 14cm he will soon be needing jackafi treatment as his wife i cried more for his pain than he did perhaps your hubby can't cope with his loved one being ill I hope you get well soon and are able to enjoy your family

  • My husband has just had a splenic infarction causing a lot of pain was put on morphine. But made him very sick. He wil not take them again what else is out ther for him to take for the pain

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