Loneliness and isolation

[Garden987]

Hi everyone. I posted just now but it doesn't seem to have been transmitted. Won't go on about it again but just wanted to off load. Hope you are the best you can all be.Mary

[Aime]

Hi Mary, please post again and say what you need to say. Ready to listen. Kindest regards Aime xx😺😺

[Garden987 in reply to Aime]

Hi Aime. Thanks for your support. Like many of us oldies isolation is a killer. I have ET, CALR, CFS and lung problems which have existed for about 10 years. The problem I have is that I used to be so independent, active,and "in control .Now an barely walk 300 yards, i. All my road. Death Row because there is no one at home therefore I spend days on end without talking to or seeing anyone. I don't have the energy or inclination to play scrabble or bingo. I just need human being to connect with. We all know how we can become embroiled in our conditions and it's driving me mad. I have no family now or friends all of whom have died. This is such a serious situation as there are thousands of people who are alone. I wish I had the energy to make a difference and help others but right now I'm useless and a failure. So as well as trying to cope with these problematic conditions there is a,so the crippling situation of loneliness. What an uplifting communication. Sorry. Mary

💃

I

[mhos61 in reply to Garden987]

Hi Mary,

I know that you have posted before about your feelings of loneliness and isolation. You truly have my heartfelt sympathy. Anyone of us may find ourselves in this situation at some point in our lives.

Unfortunately, my sympathy isn’t going to help you too much. Is there an ‘Age UK’ in your area? I know that they offer a befriending service, as my sister has recently become a befriender with them. Maybe other charities offer this too. I think I’ve mentioned before about discussing your situation with your GP.

Mary x

[JackLina in reply to Garden987]

Dear Mary, my heart goes out to you. You are doing exactly the right thing by contacting us. I spent years in the past closing myself away in a community full of people but I would draw the curtains and hide.

I have only recently been diagnosed and have found using HealthUnlocked an amazingly positive and uplifting experience. Just being able to communicate my feelings and knowing that those responding to me are caring people who have been and are going through the same or similar experiences as I am now and have for a number of years, without knowing the cause.

I was about to tell you about Silverline and carried on reading your replies to fiind that it's already there in Jane-r's response. Here it is again in case you need reminding.

0800 4 70 80 90. Please call and keep messaging us as well. With that and anAge UK buddy, I think you may at last be able to raise your spirits a little. I do hope so. I'm sending you lot of love to be going on with. I do hope it gets through.

[Wyebird in reply to Garden987]

Hi Mary, the whole idea of this forum is to support each other. That is exactly what I’m hoping this message will do. Do you have a buddy? If not contact Maz. What about Macmillan nurses. Age UK is a very good suggestion mhos61 made.

Love and hugs

[josmollan in reply to Garden987]

Hi Mary

I am so sorry. I am 41 with PV and can't imagine doing it all alone.

Three weeks ago, I had a horse riding accident and broke my back. I haven't been able to walk or drive or parent or go to shops or have a shower unassisted. It's been hell. What I have really loved is Podcasts. Can someone help set you up so you can listen to them? There are conversations about science, arts, relationships...there are crime series and debates and humorous podcasts. I love Esther Perel and Sam Harris, but really, they are fantastic. I wonder if it's not worth investigating? They're such intimate conversations that you almost feel like you're in the room with the speakers.

I know it's no substitute, but maybe worth a shot? Let me know if I can help?

Jo

[mhos61 in reply to josmollan]

Dear Jo,

I know this thread is Mary’s - but I would just like to say that I hope you recover soon. It can’t be easy for you!

You have offered some great advice to Mary.

Take Care

Mary xx

[JaynieQ]

Hi Mary

Better out than in! Please give it another try. As Aime said - we’re listening 😊

Jaynie x

[MarybellM]

I haven’t been on MPN Voice for ages and just had a little browse. Your post made me want to reach out to you and send love over the airways to wherever you are. Hopefully even these few words from me a stranger, might make you feel less alone. Keep strong. This is a caring forum. There’s always someone supportive on here. Loads of love and hugs to you. Xx

[Jane-r]

Hi Mary I’m so sorry you feel this way . As one of the posts said above , please give Silverline a call on 0800 4 70 80 90. They have people to chat to who you can call everyday and give you a friend to chat with. I remember being told about this at a talk by Ester Rantzan who set this up to help loneliness and it sounded really helpful . All the best jane

[socrates_8]

Hey Mary...

Well you will always have all of us here to chat w/...

But maybe you should try searching Google for some local groups in your area. I arrange a few cafe catch ups over here, (Sydney, Australia), whenever I can...

Maybe you could arrange for something similar in your neck of the woods... (?)

Maybe doing a little physical exercise coupled w/ a breathing program might also help you regain some of your energy levels over time.

I am also CALR+ (Type2), originally ET but now MF), and I know this greatly helps me, (even on my bad days).

Today, I was scheduled to do my bloods for my next doctor's consultation, (Wednesday). Unfortunately, (for me), they stabbed me four (4 x) times today, for no result. Apparently,I have very small & shallow veins and this procedure for me is often par for the course. Hence, I will now try again tomorrow...

Anyways Mary... Keep your chin up and try to find some new friends & community groups in your area too...

Best wishes

Steve xo

[Ebot]

I know these 💐😘 are just virtual but they are heartfelt and I hope they make a tiny difference to your day. Others have made suggestions about befriending services. So I can only wish you the strength to pick up the phone and make that, possibly life changing, first call. Xxx

[Roger41]

Good morning, the first step in your journey has taken you some time but there you have done this all by yourself, what an achievement for you.

Welcome now you can share your concerns and hopefully you can make leaps to a better tomorrow.

You are not alone here.

Samaritans are not just for suicides but they provide a twenty four hour service and they have a free phone contact.

Keep sharing and keep going we 're here to support you.

[piggie50]

Hello Mary,

I do feel for you, you have posted many times about this in the past 12 months and I believe you have previously said there is no age uk in your area. Could your GP point you in the direction of any organisations that could help you! You have also said that you have 2 daughters. I understand that they might not live local to you but do they understand how you are feeling? I know I keep a lot from my daughters because I don’t want them to worry but maybe your daughters could do a bit of if research on the internet and find some help for you.

I hope you get some help soon.

Judy xx

[MCW22]

Hi Mary, you must be computer savvy as you are posting on here. Have a look on Internet for things in your area. In the village where I live there is a fortnightly lunch club for people on their own and over 60. There are volunteers who pick up those unable to get there unaided. I made more friends in a few weeks of going to my local club than I had in the 11 years I'd lived in the village. Also if your daughters don't live near, use video calling so you can see them while talking. I once knew a woman who used to sit on her front door step knitting so that she could chat to everyone passing. Could you sit and read a book somewhere where you can speak to your neighbours and passers by. Perhaps you can listen to local radio where they have phone in discussions and join in. There are opportunities to overcome loneliness, you just have to find what suits you best. Keep posting on here and let us know how things are going.

[DENICE66]

Hi Mary. Your post made me feel very sad. Like the others have said, you’ll always find a listening ear here – such a varied bunch but the commonality of an MPN brings us all together. I’m sorry you feel so alone. Sadly, loneliness seems to affect so many people these days, for so many different reasons. Our lives are busier than ever and technology means we’re ‘always on’ but, at the same time we seem to be losing our human connections. I don’t have any magic answers but please know there are people out there who care. There are some good suggestions on his thread which certainly sound worth exploring. Take a look also at nhs.uk/Livewell/women60-plu.... There will be support in your local area in one form or another but sometimes you just need to dig a little to find it. Like you say in your post, “Hope you are the best you can all be”…. that applies to you too. Whatever our limitations, it doesn’t mean we’re stuck with things. I’m sure you’ve been through tough times and dark days before and have come out the other side. In that sense, your track record in overcoming challenges is 100% - so I’d say that’s pretty good odds to move forward with. Sending big virtual hugs xxx

[Aime]

Hi Mary, I think the others have said it all. You are definitely not alone as you’ll have seen from your replies. Keep posting, E hugs enclosed. Kindest regards Aime xx😺😺

[beetle]

Hi Mary. I am so sorry to read how you are feeling. Isolation is terrible. I wonder if you have thought about reaching out to MacMillan for support? They will also have an idea of what might be going on in your area. Some organisations who promote social activities for older folk also have volunteer drivers for transport too. It is all too easy to dwell on problems when you are isolated. This forum is very supportive but we all know that actual human contact is very important too. I hope you find a way through this soon. Cyber hugs and best wishes, Jan x

[Garden987 in reply to beetle]

Hi Beetle. Thanks for your reply. Been there, done that. Plenty of things going on around the country but not where I live. Maybe I should move?All good wishes. Mary

[beetle in reply to Garden987]

Local library or Age Concern? X

[jillydabrat]

Hi there, really felt for you reading your post. Have you tried Age Concern? They will be able to put you in touch with other people like yourself or, and I think you are computer savy, have you tried developing a website or blog for people like yourself who just need to connect with like minded people. The world won't come to you or your street, you have to reach out. I hope you feel you have friends on this wonderful site and please keep coming back for support, we are always here for you xx

[Tinkerbell13]

Hi Mary, lots of loving concern coming to you from all over the world....really touching. You say 'been there, done that'....but sometimes the best way to overcome loneliness and isolation is actually to try to help someone in a similar situation, as so many out there feeling like you do, and when reaching out to someone else, it is we who get helped too. Realise not easy to make the first move, but the rewards are great, if you can. Joining with all the other sympathetic supporters to wish you well and to say, do keep on keeping in touch, because we all do care about you. Best wishes, Tinkerbell

[Garden987 in reply to Tinkerbell13]

Hi Tinkerbell. Thanks for your reply. I agree about helping others and I do support a lady of 91. I have spent my life caring for others since I was a small child. I've had so many infections - almost non-stop - I really am very depleted now. Am 78 and realise how much I need others. I am not physically able to do Pilates etc. - have tried it - and am invariably back in bed by around 1.00. There is nothing here as I have said, although I am a very sociable person. Lots of care and help from taxi drivers, dentist,. shopkeepers when I am able to crawl down the hill. People are kind but I would love someone to come in for a cuppa or take me for a drive. Not much to ask is it? All good wishes. Mary

[Tinkerbell13 in reply to Garden987]

Oh, dear Mary, no that is certainly not too much to ask (by the way, you and I are similar age, just 77)....just for someone to come in for a cuppa and or take you for a drive, sounds very little to ask. Where we lived, they started a tea party idea. Volunteer hosts invited up to 6 people, who were all driven by volunteer drivers to the hosts, who did basic cake and sandwich tea. Do you think you would have energy to suggest that locally....maybe through the church?

How special that you support a 91 yr old lady and sure she must be so grateful to you.

Bless you and may you get some real tangible results. Privacy on this Forum means we can't ask where you live, but hope there is a church or similar that maybe could start that 'tea' idea, but most certainly arrange for someone to come and visit you, for starters.

Kindest regards to you and know we only represent many, many, out there who care about you. Tinkerbell

[Ann16]

So sorry you are going thru this! It does help to talk to someone. Check and see if there is a service in your area that has in home visits if you’re unable to leave your home. Communication does wonders for people. Hope it goes well for you. Ann

[kathymac52]

Any churches in your area? Any schools? Those are avenues to reach out and even do some volunteering: just reading to small children or making small blankets for new births can make you feel less isolated. Even a library will hold treasures.....sending warm thoughts and know we are in this together....Even all the way from Wisconsin, USA

[lucieboo]

Hi Mary. difficult to advise on this, but try to get our and meet people, join a Pilates class or something like that. We have rescue dogs so are never lonely! I don't know your circumstances, but if you want to share please do. Important that you do not let you illness dominate your life, live every day the best you can and be a bit selfish if you need to.

[love0826]

Hi Mary, I am in the same situation....lonely, isolated, no family....let me know if you want to connect by email or facebook messaging....I am here. Anke