10 things learned about being cnbc

[hertsmeets]

I came across this note written by Jody Day on ten things she had learned after '10 years of Gateway Women' - I thought it was so fabulous. Here's what she says about being cnbc:

1. You are not alone. (the numbers are 1 in 4 women are childless not by choice for [the 1960s/1970s] cohort, an avg. of 1 in 5 across the developed world). And there are amazing role models and mentors if you look for them.

2. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You have done nothing wrong by being childless and you ARE nothing wrong by being childless. This is internalized pronatalism talking...

3. You need to educate yourself about pronatalism and raise your consciousness so that you are no longer in its grip. Pronatalism is the ideology that says that being a parent is the only way to be a fully mature adult - and being a mother is the only way to be a fully realised, satisfied and 'real' woman. It's a belief system - it's not the truth. It's no 'truer' than racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia or any other divisive, hierarchical ideology that makes one kind of person more 'valuable' than another.

4. You're not crazy, you're grieving.

5. You're not bad at friendships. But some of your friends with children might be.

6. Your family are often the least likely place that you'll get support and understanding for your childlessness. So stop going to the hardware store for milk.

7. Find your tribe, invest in them, cultivate deep friendships which will sustain you over the life course. It will make dealing with your family, colleagues and childed-friends a lot easier if you keep your cup filled with women who 'get' you.

8. Coming through the fire of childlessness changes you. It burns away the bullshit. You will become a new version of yourself that you can't yet predict. You will like her a lot. Not everyone will agree with you

9. Aging without children is not something to be afraid of - unless you choose to remain in denial about the challenges ahead and to plan for them.

10. There are many ways to find and live a meaningful life. What brings you meaning and joy will change over time. There's no one 'Plan B' but many. Stay open, stay curious, stay connected and life will keep offering you new paths to meaning.

[Freedom_Unity_Love Volunteer]

This is such sage advice. Thank you for sharing. I hope it helps all who read.

Best wishes, K

[Hidden in reply to Freedom_Unity_Love]

Please. Not all CNBC are female. It's as bad as reading Recovering from a Narcissist literature. Good ideas. I have to many raw nerves not to ask. Thanks.

[hertsmeets Volunteer in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely, and thanks for bringing this up - so many stats focus on women being childless as those are the only statistics that are formally gathered by the Office of National Statistics, however it is estimated that at least the same number, and potentially even more men are childless, many not by choice. Dr Robin Hadley's work in this has been absolutely vital in helping us recognise the male audience more, and we will aim to include it more in future work (see the latest post regarding an email template we can use to raise more awareness of childlessness in the workplace). Thanks once again.