Had an anxiety attack yesterday and I still feel horrible for scaring my little brother from it.

[97Bunny11]

(I posted this all on Reddit yesterday when it happened, so that’s why it’s worded in present tense. I woke up today still feeling horrible for scaring my brother and I’m trying not to hate myself for it, but it’s difficult).

I think I just had an anxiety attack or panic attack and acted on it. This happened once before and I was quite embarrassed about it. This time I had this overwhelming sense of fear creep up on me when my dad told me that he wasn't feeling well at work. I always worry about his health and I thought of the worst. To ease my nerves I tried to call him back and he didn't pick up. His phone seemed to be shut off, but my mind switched to the worst possible scenarios and I began to panic. So much so that I told my poor little brother to pray for our dad and understandably he freaked out for a moment. I regret doing that now because Dad is probably fine and I was just acting impulsively and out of fear. I talked to my mom about it and she helped calmed me down and told me that she truly believes that he's ok. His phone is still shut off so I'm just waiting for him to either respond or just come home. Either way, I feel better now. Just a little embarrassed that I made my brother panic. I apologized to him for creating hysteria, but I still feel bad.

The other time this happened was on our way to my brother's graduation, I began to fear that we had left the stove on at home because my dad was warming up something and I almost always forget something when leaving the house. My mind jumped to the worst: "Did I forget something? I must have forgot something. I always forget something. I can't help but feel I forgot something important. Chapstick? Yeah, I forgot that, but that's not what's bothering me? The stove. Oh my God, the stove! Our cat is home alone, and we're so far away from home and we left the stove on!" I freak out in the car and ask Dad if he turned off the stove and for a moment he freaks out too, thinking that he did forget. But then he remembers that he did turn it off. But I was still anxious and I repeatedly ask him if he's sure (being a nuisance). He reassures me that he did and lo and behold, when we come home, the stove was indeed off and everything was fine.

I feel like a nuisance whenever I freak out like this. I don't want to, but when I'm in this state it really feels like the world is ending and only I know about it, and it feels like it's all really happening. I feel like such a burden when I freak out, but I can't help it. Or rather, I don't know how to help it or deal with it.