If you can't live happily is it worth... - Mental Health Sup...

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If you can't live happily is it worth living at all?

Maximilion
Maximilion

No matter what I do, I'm never happy, I wake up every day, even more, sad and depressed than the next day, was I born to be miserable?

5 Replies
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Therein lies the question that philosophers have been speculatively answering for millennia.

Firstly, consider what is happiness? Logically, you must have felt it at some time in your life to know that you don't feel it now. Therefore, there is no further logical reason to suggest that it will never return. Perhaps if you identify and investigate when and why you were happy before, you will be able to find it again.

Secondly, to address whether it is worth living if not happily you have to consider whether happiness is the pinnacle of life. I often wonder where the idea comes from which says that life should be happy first and foremost, especially without a definition of what happiness actually is.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be "happy" - just be. If you're sad and depressed (as am I and most people here) this is no less valid a life than a happy one. Yes, it is difficult to live this way, but even more so when you value life based on indicators of the elusive happiness.

Hi I agree with ncrbrts. In my experience it's much better to aim for contentment and peace. This comes from being true to yourself and living the kind of life you want, or if you can't then accepting it and changing what you can.

Happiness then comes in flashes but is never a permanent state of mind.

Once your mind is quietened you are much more free to see the beauty of nature, to enjoy the company of loved ones and friends and so on.

You can be happy and content that you have done a good deed for someone or they have for you. When you have worked hard and get satisfaction from doing a good job, when you appreciate what you have even if it's not always completely what you want. And most of all by not reaching and failing to achieve the unobtainable.

These all stem from from feeling good about yourself so aim for that instead. x

We all have expectations in life, if we cannot achieve what we want sometimes that can make our lives that much more problematic. We all need to accept and learn to accept what life has waiting for us

Throughout live we have disappointments .that is normal we pick ourselves up and move on. I went to College to take Marine Electronics, Radio and Radar, I failed and left college and over time I was retired through ill health and that has been the situation for over thirty years. However I took my Power Boat Qualifications, and I passed my Marine Radio qualifications and got my ticket to use Marine Radio. I achieved what I failed failed to do.

A wonderful achievement where I had failed at when younger the tickets are different although similar..

Live your life, we all have expectations and we do fail, that is normal, it makes to achieve that much better To feel low because we fail means that is quite normal, we need to look for things to achieve.and learn from. Life would be very boring to achieve at all challenges

BOB

Generally we are born to live and learn, if you are miserable you need to ask why you feel the way you do

You need to consider how do you wish to address the situation, look for diversions and experiences to open up your life experiences and expectations. If you are not happy look for those reasons and adapt your low mood to find something different in your Life

If it is your work that is causing problems and you are unhappy, ask yourself what you need at work and how to achieve it, there are various things you can do if unhappy say and be miserable, consider what you need from that work position. forty years in a job you hate you need to be proactive and move on, or stay and make the position work for you.

There are many alternatives including attending night classes or taking part in Voluntary work, if you enjoy something like that you may get training and that may become a new way forward. I took Youth and Community qualifications, I did something I enjoyed even though I was still an engineer at work

BOB

I would recommend a book called ‘the happiness trap’ by Russ Harris. It’s a book based on an approach called acceptance and committed therapy and really relevant to what your talking about. All the best, Tom

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