Help...

[Lu2356]

I have been feeling extreme anxiety with my mom being as sick as she is. She has been talking about seeing loved ones who have passed and other things. She gets really anxious which makes me anxious. I wish I could help her. My mind is a bit of a mess and I freeze... positive vibes and prayers are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! ❤️🙏

[Faithfull]

Sounds like me daughter talking about me we are both in anxiety state it's hard thinking of you x

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Lu2356, you are doing the best that you can under very difficult circumstances. Please know that we are thinking of you and send warm wishes to you and your mum.

[6ixtyon1]

My mother went through similar experiences, throughout her life; she was not a well person--systemic lupus and a condition called DISH (sort of the opposite of osteoperosis)-- really plagued her for her last 12 years, especially. By the last 2, she could no longer walk and was bedfast. Thing is, she was--by definition--always a bit psychic, from time to time, like her mother's side of the family; she became more dismissive about it, the older she got...maybe she didn't want me to worry...? I've always been open to that sort of thing, though, but it doesn't sound as if this has always been the case with your mom.

Is your mother in a hospice situation, or has she had any recent changes to her medication that might cause her to see/hear things like this?

Sometimes, low vitamin levels in a person's blood analysis--things like potassium, iron, vitamin C, magnesium, etc.--can aggravate such experiences. Is there a regular doctor involved with your mother's situation, and if so, what do they advise?

You are not alone, and it is only natural that you are anxious, too. In our life experiences, these are not the sort of things that they teach you in school...you learn to cope and help your loved-ones to cope through these difficult experiences by reaching into your own soul and thinking: if our roles were reversed, what would I want to see/hear that would give me comfort? You start from there and try to reach out...the fact that you care about what is happening is the most important step of all--your compassion speaks and comes across! I can't think of any other single factor that is as important...and, every hospice nurse I've ever spoken with has told me the same...

We, none of us, really know what's beyond this plane of existence...my hardest lesson was receiving my mother's experiences and trying not to think about that ending that we both knew was coming, sooner or later...looking back, now, three years later, it's still hard. But, I made it through by speaking with my mother's nurses, counselors and anyone I could find who had gone through--or, was going through--the same. That included my mother, too...this is the difficult lesson that we try to come through, for all of our loved-ones.

If you also have a pastor, priest, rabbi or any other spiritual person who can counsel both of you, that may also be immensely helpful. My mother was very secular--leaning towards being an animist--so I mostly sought help for my own spiritual guidance. I hope you can do the same.

Love and light, to you, your mother and all of your loved-ones...keep us posted, too. Blessings!

[Lu2356 in reply to 6ixtyon1]

Thank u reaching it. It has been extremely important for me to hear other people speak, especially about heir own experiences. I believe in Jesus Christ. I also believe that being united as a people is also very important, no matter what part of the world. I pray and reach out to God and I think I should do it more.

I have always loved talking to people. My mom is the same way. When I was young, I noticed she always spoke to strangers and I am also the same way. And like her, an open book for anyone who wants to talk. I believe we have lost that in the world. I would rather spend physical time with a person than on the phone, but if that’s as far as I can go right now, I am grateful. I am grateful for the different forums that have allowed me to speak to others from different parts of the world.

My mom is going to be receiving hospice soon I believe. I took a step back once I stopped being her caregiver. I was overwhelmed with my own situation at home. I was in and out of hospital for chest pains and arrhythmias I am assuming due to stress. Doctors have not always been supportive of what has been going on with me. From what my brother has researched, he believes it’s the toxins in her blood that cause her to experience these things.

I just wish I could help her, but I can’t. I have to leave it in God’s hands to guide all of us thorough this difficult, yet beautiful experience of transitioning between worlds...

[6ixtyon1]

Lu2356, you are on all of the right tracks! I think hospice will be able to help her, and help you, too, by sharing this task...I am sorry you are not getting the kind of medical observations that are necessary for your own health--there is far too much of that about, these days! If you can squeeze in a 2nd opinion for yourself--I know insurance policies can get very stinky about those sorts of ideas!--then do so, as soon as you are able...do you have friends/family that can make some recommendations to you? Failing that, there is always healthgrades.com...they usually take a pretty accurate view of a medical person's overall success rate, with the patients in mind. Bottom line, as I was reminded, over and over: you cannot help them, in a caregiver capacity, if you are not doing well, yourself. i hope that you both get the help that you need--blessings and light, always! :>) Do keep us posted!