why is life so hard

[Wendy338]

hi im a newbie recently joined, i have anxeity/depression mainly related to relationship issues, the pain i feel is unbearable somtimes, & struggle to carry on

[WhiteAlice]

Hello, Wendy! I tell you this from experience: examine your relationships. If they are toxic, get out of them! It hurts to leave someone you love, but it will destriy you bit by bit if the relationship isn't healthy & you stay.

[Wendy338 in reply to WhiteAlice]

hi whiteAlice thank you so much for your reply, just feel so alone, yes it is destroying me, i love him so much, i think im holding on to see if he can change but i dont think he will, he has no empathy at all, & yes it is toxic, im such a mess, feel so down & low

[Wendy338 in reply to WhiteAlice]

how did you manage to break free

[WhiteAlice in reply to Wendy338]

I got tied up three different times with narcissists. The first was reall bad. I didn'teven know what a narcissust was. I was embedded deeply in a miserable marriafe & was afraid of losing my family, my financial credibility, and my health. So I went for a divorce. I did lose a lot, but with therapy, determination, & support I recovered. Then I met the 2nd one. He seemed totally different, but he was an unmedicated bipolar to boot. We lived together 5 yrs. I'd had enoughof violence & cheating & snuck out one day while he was at work. My days were dark, but I found this group & received tremendous advice & support. I started feeling giid again. I started dating again. Then I met the 3rd. I fell fast & hard for him. Hs seemed to reciprocate...until I found out he was cheating. I walked out. Narc 1 only bothers me once in awhile. I ignore him. Narcs 2 & 3 haven't contacted me. Truthfully I miss 2 & 3, but I know the good times were all an illusion. I value my freedom & my child's safety. I'll struggle. I will not walk in a man's shadow. Get out if you must. Talk to us to get you through.

[Wendy338 in reply to WhiteAlice]

omg u have been through so much, u just feel so pathetic somtimes that u love this person so much, i too have had violence aswell as verbal abuse but it always is my fault which i no is not true, then u get the im sorry, & all that crap, but everytime it boils dowm to me & how i am, well if u get treated bad what do they expect.

[WhiteAlice]

When you go through one relationship after another with the same patterns & issues, you:

1. Educate yourself. I studied all that I could about the narcissist/empath dynamic.

2. Find support. Family, friends, & therapists are great, but I found support groups(like this) on line, some specifically for relationship break ups; victims of abuse, & people recovering from narcissitic abuse.

3. Work on YOU. You are the most important person to you. Be kind to yourself. Seek and allow yourself ypur happiness.