Circumcision mental impacts

[Anonduck]

I am writing in the hope of getting some advise. I have read some of the posts on here, that many of you are really happy with the results of your circumcision. However are there any of that had it done for medical reason at the advise of your doctors and regret it? Someone I care for is in this position and they now hate themselves and what they have done. Any advice on how to help with this or where they could get help?

[MrMac99]

Hi Anonduck, sorry to hear your friend is not happy with his circumcision there are certain medical conditions that require a circumcision to prevent complications down the road most doctors from where I am would leave it as a last Resort. if it's not that long since he had it done? he might need more time for it to heal more it can take some time to get used to the new environment for his glans.

if he is still unhappy it might be possible to restore the foreskin some of the guys on this forum talk about that.

[Anonduck in reply to MrMac99]

It has been over a year, and he has looked a restoration but I think is now wary of doing anything that could have even more of a negative impact on him

[MrMac99 in reply to Anonduck]

I would be very sceptical of restoration as well I think it could have a negative impact on him. I have read down through your posts hear he had it done for medical reasons he must remember the problems he had before it was done. I know some doctors can be dismissive but it wasn't just a small thing for your friend it definitely wasn't for me it was a big decision I'm sure Everyman on this forum would say the same. he should not feel ashamed or less a man because he had a circumcision is needed to be done and should not regret it.

he has to come to terms with that decision himself he needs the support of his family and friends and specially his girlfriend he says that she hasn't been with anyone circumcised and he feels ashamed to even show it to her I'm sure she would love it I think most girls love it I think your friend and his girlfriend should embrace this as an experience for them both to go through, it will be a first time for both of them then.

at first I found it awkward to show people even in the changing room and showers try and encourage him to not be embarrassed or ashamed to be naked in front of anyone he really shouldn't feel anyway ashamed or less a man. He has confided in you so it's important that you support him as much as you can try and encourage him as much as you can to try his new toy out and enjoy it I found it a big change but really do much prefer it now.

[Anonduck in reply to MrMac99]

I just wish I knew how best to support him. It’s not like I can show him mine and say I know how it feels. I don’t. In his eyes he is broken, end of.

[MrMac99 in reply to Anonduck]

All you can do is be supported as much as you can and try and encourage his girlfriend. I had a good friend who was circumcised I was able to confide in him I found it helped in my decision

[Anonduck in reply to MrMac99]

What would you suggest to his girlfriend? Encourage her to do what or say what?

[Theguynamedjohn]

24 days post op here. I've hated life for the first 16 days, and regretted my decision greatly. However, I had to keep reminding myself that my case of phimosis was extreme and causing pain and discomfort as well as putting a strain on my sex life. Creams and stretching weren't working, in fact, it seemed like it was just getting worse as the months went by. So, here I am, 24 days afterwards and still pulling my pants away from my junk. Cringing and twitching whenever my soldier would touch my pants. I was extremely depressed and very remorseful for my guy. I was saying Ive lived with my condition for 36 years, I could've kept going with my phimosis. Although, day 24, and I've found myself thinking a lot about sex. Ive been having more erections without pain. There has to be a light at the end of this recovery tunnel and I see it. A few more weeks and I should be able to be back to normal, pre op. What day is your friend on? I hope this helps at least a little bit. Tough it out, and your friend should be back up and functioning like a normal person. My wife likes the fact that I did this. My guy is more attractive and I have a feeling I will enjoy sex just as much as I did pre op. Hang in there!

[Anonduck in reply to Theguynamedjohn]

I’m not sure what day he is on, but I know I had been a year and a few months. Unfortunately during this time there has been no change to his state of mind. He hates himself for what he has done and hasn’t let his gf see him naked since the operation let alone had sex and probably won’t again, unless he can find some way to deal with his feelings surrounding this.

[13delpi]

If there is a medical reason then you can’t regret it because there is no other solution.

If there is another solution or if there is no medical reason then don’t do it.

Of course we love our foreskin but...

[Anonduck in reply to 13delpi]

There was a medical reasoning behind it, however the doctors behaved like it was a nothing thing. He was sent to see and nhs counsellor however this didn’t help and I think a large part of that was she was a women who can’t possibly have any idea how he felt. He genuinely considers what he has had done as self mutation and He feels less of man since.

[13delpi in reply to Anonduck]

It is true that doctors are facing it like a simple operation but the truth is that is preety tough and it can get you really down.

But the thought that is less of man is completely wrong i thing it is the opposite.

Every friend that hears it is like o man really?

I hope time will be our friend and we are going to get better as time goes by.

[jimfromfresno in reply to Anonduck]

Doctors often lie. Most circumcisions can be avoided through alternative procedures.

[Circedandlovingit in reply to jimfromfresno]

What is the alternative procedure for someone wanting a cosmetic circumcision? You act as though circumcision is a bad thing, and should be voided at all costs. Most men who are circumcised as adults are very pleased with the results.

[timmyboy20]

I'm sorry to hear this about your friend. But like Freud said it's all in the mind. He definitely shouldn't feel himself less a man because he's circumcised. Lots of cultures perform circumcision even as a rite of passage from boy to man! Most women prefer circumcised men because it's always clean and looks sexual more attractive. Therefore I think that his girlfriend should be playing an important role in his mental healing process. If she supports and encourages him and tells him how much she likes a circumcised man, he hopefully will be going to feel a real (super)man again. Not a man who has lost something but who has gained so much more. That's the experience from me and so many other circumcised men. I really hope he'll soon discover the benefits of being circumcised and enjoy his new (sex) life.

[Anonduck]

His gf has never been with a circumcised man and he knows that, so doesn’t feel right to comment on what she doesn’t know. And he is so ashamed he doesn’t want he to see it or be anywhere near it. As much as she would like to because she loves him and wants to help. To her it was a nothing thing when he had it done, but the psychological impact it has had is heartbreaking.

[timmyboy20 in reply to Anonduck]

OK, his girlfriend might be never with a circumcised man but she surely have seen one on the internet or in porn. She simply could tell him how much she likes that and that she's glad he's now circumcised too. Come on, that girl can do so much for him!

[Anonduck in reply to timmyboy20]

Surely she can only help if he lets her? I mean would tell him she likes it actually help if he regrets and resents it so much?

[timmyboy20 in reply to Anonduck]

Do you know why he regrets it?

[Anonduck in reply to timmyboy20]

Because he never wanted it, not really, I guess. He did it in the hope of getting to have a normal sex life with her, pain free for him. And has never seen a good side since having it done. But it’s not something he is openly chatting about so it’s hard to tell.

[Anonduck]

I know you get some grief on this site for your posts, but thank you for responding I will look into some of these links and hopefully I can suggest that my friend does too. However unfortunately I don’t think he will be able to access some of the help posted as he is not based in America. The UK seems too be a bit behind in understand the impact it can have, possibly because it may not be as common, or is just still very taboo.

[Skertchly]

Yes, I’d rather have kept foreskin, but doctor advised circumcise. No real mental hang ups, but would have preferred more time deciding and alternatives

[Circedandlovingit]

I feel getting circumcised as an adult can have a very positive effect on mental health. As soon as I woke up in the hospital after my circumcision, I felt a since of freedom knowing that the foreskin was gone forever. Being circumcised is very special to me, and the anti-circumcision people will never be able to take it away.

[Anonduck in reply to Circedandlovingit]

I’m glad you feel that way. My friend however does not share your joy and that is why I am looking for was to support him.

[Hidden in reply to Circedandlovingit]

I agree. This can also apply in a different way to infant circumcisions. I don’t remember my first circumcision but I always felt more free than the other boys at school. And when my sons were circumcised I felt an incredible feeling - a mix of ecstasy, warmth, care and love. My partner Natasha felt it too and we were so overjoyed afterwards knowing that we had made the right decision for our boys.

[Anonduck]

You call British men very fortunate because of the nhs. I must admit I agree and disagree with this. They might not do not medicinal circumcisions.... but they also lack any follow up or aftercare for a surgery. Surely this is failing British men? To just taken them in, do the surgery and then throw them out on their own? I had more after care from fainting than my friend received from surgery!!! How can that be right?

[Hidden]

It takes a toll on your mind and it feels incredibly different , i would have not expected this amount of recovery and sensitivity ( that god knows when it will be off ) will go on .

Plus the constant fear of doing sex and then fearing that something might go wrong or the scarline will open , or that i will get an infection , i was afraid to masturbate 5 weeks , even now i do it with super care cause i’m afraid .

You’re stuck .... i hope this goes away really .

[Anonduck in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I’m sorry to hear it has taken it’s toll you too. May I ask how long has it been for you?

[Hidden in reply to Anonduck]

Im on week 5 it looks good cosmetically but im sensitive to touch , masturbation is uncomfortable and tight . I dont even dare have sex to be honest cause the last thing i want now is a ripped scar line due to force ... Im staying positive and hope to god this will end fine .

[Anonduck in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately I can not give you any words from personal experience, as I haven’t been where you are. But from some of what I have read here 5 weeks is still early days in recovery. I think just remember everyone is different and therefore heals in different time scales. Just don’t rush yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Anonduck]

I hope so mate as im growing impatient and it bothers me alone , i hate feeling every step i take down there

[Anonduck in reply to Hidden]

Try not to grow impatient, your body needs time to heal. I hope it’s getting easier

[Hidden in reply to Anonduck]

I hope id does mate im growing impatient and sometimes i feel a depression coming on .

[Anonduck in reply to Hidden]

That’s not good is it the feel of everything that’s getting you down? Maybe some of the guys on here that have been through it could offer you some advice?

[Hidden in reply to Anonduck]

I feel like in a loop , living the same day all over again , put the oil take care of it , feel oversensitive everyday , im afraid to try sex or masturbate because i might mess it up ..... i like the way it looks and its very healthy the doc was amazing and he did a perfect job , but it suddenly attacked my mind

[MrMac99 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Marions, sometimes it takes a little bit longer for the sensitivity to go everybody is different. but eventually it will one day you will just realise it's not so bad and you won't be thinking about it. if your frenulum area is healed up enough I think you should try it out. the more things you can do the better it will help to desensitize. from your photo it looks to be healed very well it's just the frenulum area is always the slowest but I think you could have a test run yourself.

[Anonduck]

liking how it looks it’s a good thing, could you maybe try to turn the over sensitive feelings into good ones? I have read a few posts about guys using silky items to begin with because it is gentler....