Depression

[Dynomite]

Whew! I think I've finally come out of a weeks worth of depression. I think it was brought on by unrealistic expectations from a recent Dr visit. I went in expecting him to look in my ears and say "why yes, you've got junk in your ears that are preventing you from hearing well", but no such luck. He looked in and said they look fine and healthy. I'm glad they look healthy, but I've still got serious hearing loss on the right side and the left that I can hear out of roars with a mechanical type tinnitus, actually I get that on both sides, but sometimes it's so loud on the left that I can't hear. Sometimes what I hear makes no sense and it takes a few seconds for my brain to catch up and make sense of what was said. It's frustrating. But like I said I'm over the depression of it and will try to make the best of it. I don't remember (go figure, lol) who said it here but it was very profound for me, they said they used to say it is what it is (I used to say that all the time), they now say it is what I make it, I'm now trying to live by those words and I thank whoever it was who said it.

[Canada3]

OhI am sorry for you and your hearing loss bad news is always hard to take especially when you are being positive and building yourself up. You are so right I think it is what you make it, or I heard recently, you may have pain but you dont have to be one. The cheeriest people sometimes hide awful problems and sadness, but I think we really can foolcour immune system or brain by telling ourselves we are well and trying to live as well as we can. Good Luck for you.

[corps1]

Hello Dynomite,

Sorry to hear that you are having problems with your hearing. I lost my hearing in one ear totally. Just have a hissing sound now. The other is fine until I get blocked sinuses. This affects my balance. Sometimes badly. I have found that some sounds seem to be much louder in my hearing ear than they were and you can't turn the volume down! Does it affect you like that? Just have to remember both my maternal grandparents were totally deaf from birth, but preferred that to being blind. So I can't complain.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

J

[Dynomite in reply to corps1]

Thanks Corps, yes sometimes sounds are too loud sometimes too quiet it makes to sense. The weather seems to make it worse for me. Go figure.

[Lemie]

I had VM last year March 2013. My husband keeps telling me that my hearing got worse, and the TV to loud. I do get joint ache in my arms and legs, along with headaches:(((( VM taken over my life!!!! I try and keep strong, but at time I feel like a failure. Thank god my husband and children understand my condition:)))) Everyday something different comes up related to VM.

[SunflowerGirl]

Hi Dynomite,

Thanks for your message. Seems like you have gone through a very similar experience to me. I’ve had bacterial meningitis (pneumococcal) twice, the first time three and a half years ago and the second time about the same time as you, February this year. As with you I have hearing loss and very loud tinnitus in one ear, (for me the left). It’s interesting to read here that other people have had the same experience, unilateral tinnitus and hearing loss, and I’ve also read this in research. As with you I also suffered from depression for about 3 to 5 months after each meningitis. Outlook is very important and you seem to be very positive, which I know is not always easy! I’ve found the tinnitus difficult to adjust to, but again outlook is important. When I realised that nothing could be done about the tinnitus, I changed the way I thought, and I decided to make the best and be happy. Interestingly, after the first meningitis I lost most of my hearing in my left ear, even four months after the hearing tests showed virtually no hearing in most of the speaking frequencies. Just recently the hearing tests were repeated and I had MRI on my left ear. The MRI showed no damage to the cochlea and other ear parts, (therefore the damage was in the hearing centre of my brain). Not only this, but in the three years since my first meningitis my brain repaired itself and I had recovered much of my left ear hearing. This was very surprising, especially for the audiologist! For me it didn’t make much difference, I still have a preferred ear. I’ve since spoken to a couple of friends with unilateral hearing loss and they said the same thing, with one ear not as good as the other, even just a small difference, the good ear will always be a preferred ear. The one thing I particularly noticed was that before I couldn't use the phone with my left ear, but now that my hearing has come back, I can use my left ear. Very helpful when I love to chat with friends on the phone!

All the best with you recovery, do pm me if there is anything I can help with. I agree with you, it is what it is, and its our choice to make what we want to make of it.

[Dynomite in reply to SunflowerGirl]

Thank you for your words. Yes outlook is very important and I too have had to make a conscious decision to make the best of my life. I learned after my bout of depression to not allow myself to dwell on the way I used to be and focus on how I can get and be better. This truly has been a very strange journey. I'm so sorry that you got this horrible disease not once but twice. My heart goes out to you.

C