Where to start with help for my sister, 48yrs old

[Haybombay58]

My sister has an undiagnosed learning disability. She went to a specialist school & college. She then had numerous jobs through a specialist employment agency. She was then taken on directly by Tesco after many years but was made redundant when their staff cafe closed.

She has always lived at home with my mum and dad. She doesn’t receive any benefits and she has just kind of dropped off the radar of any services.

My dad sadly passed away 3 weeks ago and myself and my siblings really feel it’s time to think about the future. My sister now hasn’t worked for about 5 years and would find it very difficult to apply for jobs or attend interviews. But she has nothing else going on in her life at all.

Where do I start to get help and advice? I am very hesitant of doing anything without being upfront and honest to my sister but given the choice she will not want any help at all.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Hayley

[Jofisher]

Adult social services but if you in a position to pay get an independent advocate/ social worker consultant they’re worth their weight in gold. I have a contact if your interested

[Galwaybay2]

Some areas are better than others for networking groups of all sorts and it might be worth googling social and sporting groups to begin with, to get more local information. You need a network. Even if these activities don't seem relevant there will be people in them who could help you get what you need for your sister and give you the emotional support you need.

[Haybombay58 in reply to Galwaybay2]

Thanks for your reply.

The problem is she doesn’t really see herself as having any issues, and she is not sociable at all so she would say no to any kind of group where she felt like she has a disability. It’s really hard, we should have dealt with this long ago. She’s very set in her ways and definitely has a lot of autistic behaviours. So anything we try and do is going to feel hurtful to her I think.

[Galwaybay2 in reply to Haybombay58]

It creates such a difficult problem when parents can't acknowledge something that might have caused them distress. I have a child who has been able to assimilate from young into his own life and find friends. Maybe I learnt from seeing my older brother struggling undiagnosed his whole life and who at 71 still has no idea why life is tough for him. You could still use those groups to learn more about ways to access work and benefits in your area without your sister. And social services of course.

[oddfish7]

It's a difficult situation for you. But you need to help your sister.

So you will have to get adult social services involved. If you can get/afford an independent social worker then that's also helpful. and might take some of the pressure off you and your siblings.

It will be a lot to navigate and your sister may be alarmed at changes but you have to do it to ensure her security and safety. It's great that she has worked in the past - maybe something could be found for her locally - are there any community projects which might be helpful ? I agree with GalwayBay2 here, local organisations can be helpful with support and with information. Your sister will also be grieving which might make things a bit more difficult, so you will all need emotional support with the process.

With best wishes

[49Twister]

Do you have a carers centre in your area. This would be a good starting point, less informal. If you do ring them up and make an appointment. They can advise you how to work through this, who to get in touch with and provide you with support in in sorting stuff out. As it says it's for carers and generally very helpful with advice and how to work through things, give it a go.