Sister in law. 32 year old with a 16 year olds mind... - Mencap


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Sister in law. 32 year old with a 16 year olds mind looking for a social life!!

Becca_B profile image

Hi all. I'm new to here and am looking for some advice.

My sister in law had a brain tumour at the age of 6 which resulted in her having memory problems, balance and coordination issues and learning difficulties. She is now 32 and lives a life of nothing. She has been through the ringer when it comes to health professionals with an outcome which doesn't leave her in a category. She isn't severely disabled (she had her disability pay and blue badge taken away!) And nor is she "normal" enough. She is a 32 year old living in a 16 year olds mind. She has no friends, no social life or job and has a habit of "befriending" random people and has been know to give out more personal information (and pictures!!) For attention (which we can all relate to!).

She has tried attending some day centres for disabled adults but after one visit refused to go back as they were "too disabled" in her words. She just wants friends and love and someone to talk to and go places with but won't take the mick out of her. My husband, I and his family are at a loss. Is there anywhere in Reading or Berkshire area where a person of my SIL's capacity find a reason to get get out of bed in the morning?

Any and all suggestions are greatly welcomed!!!

Thank you x

7 Replies
Shue profile image
ShueCommunity friend

Hello and welcome. It's so frustrating trying to find activities for our loved ones but I am sure there is something that will give your sister a purpose in life. Would she be able to undertake a volunteering role ? Does she enjoy sports my own son attends special olympics, they cater for all levels of ability. The mencap club we attend also has a good mix of ability. The helpline 0808 808 1111 will have information regarding what is available in your area. Good luck and please let us know how she gets on.

Maybe Mencap should do more for people like your sister but, then again... funding!! I wish I could help

Shue profile image
ShueCommunity friend in reply to Dandyman01

Hi Dandyman01, it isn't just lack of funding it's lack of volunteers also to help at the clubs they run. I know you have your struggles but something you might consider doing if not now in the future and you would be enabling people with LD to socialise. If it is something you would consider check out the mencap organisation in your area. Best wishes.

Dandyman01 profile image
Dandyman01 in reply to Shue

My Mencap is my problem.. hey helps alienate my son from us many years ago and they are still draconian.. sorry to say that..

I myself is isolated, bored and distressed,

Sarah_Mencap profile image

Hello Becca_B

Welcome. Learning disability covers such a wide range conditions so it can be tricky finding something that suits everyone. Your sister in law is very fortunate to have you looking out for her.

I love Shue's suggestion of volunteering. Another idea might be to see if there are any befriending schemes in your area. I have found a few but there are probably loads more:



I have also found a few more suggestions for different clubs in Reading/Berkshire (forgive me if these are miles away, I am not familiar with your area):

* there are lots of different groups on here -

* Reading Mencap has lots of different activities (apologies if you have already tried them). They may not all suit her, but it might be good if she likes something specific like performing arts. Their Gateway club looks good too -

* Berkshire PHAB might appeal to your sister in law - as it seems to have a mix of people with and without a learning disability.

* Do you think she might be interested in gardening? Englefield garden centre might be worth a look -

* If she fancies sport this looks great -

Please do give our helpline (0808 808 1111) a call if you would like a chat about this.

Best wishes


becca i have a son 23 and it sounds the same i have been trying to find like minded people for him to socialize with distance is no problem we live letchworth its my real name look me up on face book please as my son has tryed things but people can be brutal now i try to safe gaurd looking for like minded friends to share also network for the best for our loved ones

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