Hissone: My son is 35yrs His Autism has become so... - Mencap

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Hissone

Hissone profile image
13 Replies

My son is 35yrs His Autism has become so severe due to restrictions he now attacks staff a d bangs his head

When I saw him he looked in such a bad way he looked like he hsd been in a fight

He is so sad they ha e taken away his books snacks tablet s d drives

But I have informed cqc social services the ambulance raised a safeguarding

But social services said Its not a good idea to go to the courts because thing could turn out bad and very emotionally draining and I have bee told I have to get on with the home

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Hissone profile image
Hissone
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13 Replies
Jofisher profile image
Jofisher

You need to get deputyships for your son they will always try and put you off don’t let them. I would speak to my independent social worker seek advice and go from there . Your son is clearly I. A bad place and needs the right support if he’s CHC funded you can use his funds to pay for an independent social worker. Here’s her email and her name is Vanessa Evans email is Vanessa@socialcareadvice.co.uk

Hissone profile image
Hissone in reply to Jofisher

Thank you

FELTSPAR profile image
FELTSPAR in reply to Hissone

I just want to say that Jo offers excellent advice.

Also, though I think you know this, your son’s autism hasn’t become severe, his autism is the same, he is however expressing severe distress in his autistic way. His behaviour is a desperate cry for help. He is justified as he is clearly being abused, that absolutely has to stop.

Look into intensive interaction and it looks like staff need to use

It helped my son's behaviour

Hissone profile image
Hissone

Thank you

Steve__ profile image
Steve__

In my personal experience if the home is not doing its job well already, then it won't start doing it better unless it's got a major new reason, or major funding difference.

Homes can find reasons to evict people, which might be a bad result. (Try to get the social worker to explain what the "bad result" might be if they've mentioned one). Equally if there is a better home out there (sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't), then that would be better for your son.

If you and the ambulance crew are worried, then I would look to see that better homes are out there just to gather the info. I was able to visit quite a few by dealing direct with the new care homes... sometimes it's helpful to see how different places work so you've good more info on how the best places operate

Normal social workers are overworked and often inexperienced, so I'd always get a 2nd opinion on what one has said if it's a major question you're asking.

I personally wish I had depuyship, it gives you more power, but the process of getting it needs EXPERT advice before doing it. If CHC money can get you an independent social worker, then maybe they could find you some good legal advice, which you'd probably need too. Depuyship rules have changed since the old days. You can get advice before taking any action. Information is a great first step!

Good luck

Mybestfriends profile image
Mybestfriends

Just wondering whether any Meds are contributing, causing the Headbanging etc. I say this because my 33yr old Son ASDc & more, was on a high Med earlier this year & he started to Headbang & Punch Walls, Cupboard Doors. We did get to reduce & now minimal of this Tablet Quetarpine to 25mg only in evenings & he has stopped the Self Harm, thankfully. But of course he will have Meltdowns as an Autistic. Maybe worth looking into your situation. Also I agree with Jofisher's reply.

Bluey203 profile image
Bluey203 in reply to Mybestfriends

I definitely agree with others comments, it can become a catch 22 situation, the individual could be given more medication for escalating behaviours, when in actual fact the meds are the cause. We were given lorazepam as PRN (when required), this caused an escalation in behaviour, my son became more agitated and aggressive, its well known in science that medications such as benzodiazepines can have a paradoxical reaction in autism/learning disability, but many doctors just don't believe it or listen to the parent.Most behaviours start due to anxiety about a situation or pain, in our sons case it was chronic constipation. We stopped the lorazepam, and introduced a daily laxative, he has been much happier for over a year now.

It sounds like the staff and its managers need training, your son shouldn't be punished by removing his items, they should be closely monitoring him, to decipher the root cause of behaviours, whether pain, situation or even boredom. I hope a more suitable home can be found soon, it's a situation every parent dreads 🫂

BarbaraGood profile image
BarbaraGood

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Others have offered excellent advice and I can add no more, I just wanted to send you words of comfort. Stay strong 🤗 and let us know how you get on.

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB

I’m gobsmacked reading this!The home cannot keep his things from him. It’s a safeguarding issue. I’m so sad reading this. My son is very aggressive and the staff are highly trained and know exactly how to deal with him. A member of staff once told my son that he couldn’t have pudding if he didn’t eat his dinner. He wouldn’t understand that anyway but the actual manager herself reported that as a safeguarding issue. Honestly you need to seek independent advice. It seems everyone is working against you and your son. You need support too to make sure they are doing their job properly.

Mybestfriends profile image
Mybestfriends in reply to BenjiB

Agree!! She could seek an Advocate, help her Voice to these people & the Words needed. They should Never take away self soothers, eg Phone, Tablet, anything that occupies the mind. Safeguarding issue here!!

Hissone profile image
Hissone

Thank you all so much

Bluey203 profile image
Bluey203

Hi, I really hope things have improved for your son and yourself now.

I recently read of a similar situation another family were experiencing and have included the link below. No doubt the abuse and exclusion of families happens far more than the public are aware, we just hear the tip of the iceberg in the media. Ministers respond "this must never happen again", but nothing has changed 🙄leighday.co.uk/news/news/20...

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