Help as an appointee?: Hi everyone, I'm new here. I... - Mencap


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Help as an appointee?

h1e90 profile image

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I am looking for family/carer support and advice for those caring for adults with learning disabilities. My older brother has learning disabilities and autism and, as a family, we are his appointee for his finances (including his benefits). Does anyone know of anywhere to get support to be an appointee (e.g. somewhere you can ask questions or get advice) as it is all so confusing! I know that there are organisations that will provide an appointeeship service but, for the mean time, this isn't possible and the family will remain as appointees. It would be really great to talk to other people in a similar position. It's a very lonely and stressful situation to be in!

Many thanks,

12 Replies

Do you have have a CARERS CENTRE in your area, they are usually a great hub of information and support. Face to face is probably not available but you could certainly ring them and I’m sure they could help or at least point you in the right direction.

Hi there I was an appointee for my son and it was no problem, I’m curious to understand what the problem is so we can help or advise you. I’m also now a deputy for his finances and his health and welling this has to be done through the courts so it’s all legal and it gives you more say as you become their voice if they lack mental capacity. The forms are a bit of a challenge but if your brother lacks mental capacity you would be able to apply for these but seek advice first as I don’t know how affected your brother is. The carers association might be able to help you as well or direct you to people. You could contact an advocacy service they could help you as a family. Does he have a social worker as they should be able to advise as well. Can you let us know what the main difficulties are regarding being an appointee so we can help you better.

h1e90 profile image
h1e90 in reply to Jofisher

Hi Jofisher, thanks for your speedy reply! Gosh (sigh) it feels like there is always a problem!! The current situation is that we have LPA for my brother's health and finances. I personally think that we should have deputyship for him as his capacity to make decisions health or finances is very limited. However, my dad is reluctant to do this due to the responsibility he believes it places on the family (he has his own difficulties and gets very stressed about it all). As a sibling, sometimes it is hard when family members have different opinions!

The main on-going struggle we have is communicating with Benefits every month as my brother's finances are currently above 6k (but below 16k) so we need to submit change of circumstances forms with evidence every month. My current question is that we have had a letter from his housing association informing us that he will be credited X amount from his service charge payment from last year. Now, his rent (he is on a shared ownership scheme with MySafeHome) is dealt with directly with Benefits- will this be the same for service charge or should we be informing Benefits of this credit via the change of circumstances form?

A second question we currently have is that my brother is due to receive the COVID vaccine soon via a home visit. However, my dad is concerned that the LPA only kicks in if my brother is deemed to not have capacity to consent to the vaccine. My brother's care manager has said that someone with POA will need to be in attendance to sign the consent form. I guess our question is how is this lack of capacity decided? We are keen for it to go as smoothly as possible without any drama!!

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to h1e90

Right I don’t know but my daughters a social worker would you be happy for me to ask her for you as this is not something I would be sure of and I wouldn’t want o give you the wrong information. If you would prefer me not to no problem have you called the Mencap helpline or speak to the court of protection. Sounds like a right pain regarding keeping them informed every month if he’s got to much money in the account is there nothing he needs that you can buy for him to reduce what’s in his bank.

h1e90 profile image
h1e90 in reply to Jofisher

Yes any advice from your daughter would be great thank you! I have spoken to Mencap before but not about this specific issue so I will be sure to call them as well (when I have a chance!). Up until this point, we have worked hard to keep his finances below 6k but lockdown has meant that most of the independent activities/therapies we usually pay for have stopped. There are a few things in the pipeline we can buy that might help but we need to wait for shops to be back open and access to his supported living to be covid risk assessed before we can sort it out.

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to h1e90

I’ve looked on the NHS website regarding Mental capacity check it out as it will help you. My son lacks mental capacity but he maybe able to choose out of two drinks or if he wants to go out or not for example but he’s severely disabled and non verbal. Is your brother happy to have the vaccine and if so can you or one of you be there to support him. I think if you read the mental capacity act it will give you a lot more insight into how if works. Your parents were able to get the LPA’s done so they wouldn’t have been able to do that if he lacked capacity. My daughter doesn’t get involved in the housing side of things so she suggested causing the housing people for advice and then if you need to speak to the benefits people and on the form you need to complete talk about all the things you’ll going to buy for your brother that he needs but at present you can’t access these things until things open up. Sorry this is all I can suggest for now I do hope your able to sort things out. It’s always a bit of a mine field finding your way through all these issues. I wish you luck with it all.

h1e90 profile image
h1e90 in reply to Jofisher

Thank you, your advice has been really helpful. I'll get on to the housing people!

Hi not really sure what you asking. What kind of help? If you are he’s appointee then you are dealing with he’s finances he’s bills he’s food and he’s clothes as well as anything else he may need. Now you may be asking about Deputyship? That’s entirely different, deputyship is done in court where by you become he’s court appointed person for health finances and welfare.

It costs about £3,000 to do it.

h1e90 profile image
h1e90 in reply to Leosammas

Hi, sorry, I didn't explain myself well at all! We are his appointee, not deputyship. I suppose I was just wondering if there was a place to get advice on specific things and questions, particularly about Benefits etc, as it is so difficult to get through and/or get clear answers from the Benefits office. We know some people pay a company for appointee services (e.g., I know of DOSH and MoneyCarer) but this isn't an option at the moment.

I am a sibling who is gradually taking over the responsibilities from my father and it just feels like a minefield and hard to manage and ask questions from the various services alongside work/life commitments. However, I think I am finding that this forum might be the place to ask question as everyone seems so knowledgeable!

Leosammas profile image
Leosammas in reply to h1e90

Ah I see got you.

So your a sibling.

Well very well if your a sibling it might be a good idea to become he’s deputy as if he lacks capacity and in the event of your father passing god forbid, you being appointee might not work as you don’t have a legal right, so Google in your area a charity organisation that can help you answering your questions snd help you with Benefits as well as legal issues. You can also ask your social worker if you have one. If not will be a good idea to get in touch with your local social services to get you help that you may need as you take over responsibilities from your father.

May I also say well done for taking that on.

A lot if siblings just go off and don’t care. I so love that your taking that on I know it’s hard work but you doing the right thing so it’s not strangers taking care of your brother.

It’s a parent nightmare and heartbreaking to think what will happen to our children when we’re no longer here. It’s really upsetting to imagine. I two have two sons who will be left behind and I worry so much what will happen to them.

I do hope my daughter will do her best for them.

Wishing you so much love and good luck.


I believe My Safe homes should be able to put you in tough with My Safe Future. they could have the answers youare looking for.

I am not 100% sure on this but it might be worth a try.

We were also looking at My Safe Homes for my son but have not continued with the process due to Covid. We would be interested to know how your son is getting on.

Our son also has Autism and L.D and still living at home, we need to start putting something in place for him.

Good luck

Sarah_Mencap profile image


It may help to be in touch with other siblings who are in a similar situation. Just a thought, but have you heard of Sibs - it is charity for siblings. Have a look here -

I also found these pages in the DOSH website which tell you a little about being an appointee (rather than setting it up):



Best wishes


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