Christmas day

[David1601957]

My sister is mentally disabled, and lacks mental capacity. She wants me to come for Christmas day meal. The carers company say that no one can come because it means that her money is being spent on someone else. This is because she lacks mental capacity, she cannot authorise it.

What do you think?

[NSZMER]

Its probably too late to apply thro formal channels who administer her funds ( but you could always ask for funds to allow you to join her for Easter and next Christmas to be authorised. Take over a Christmas dinner/packed lunch for them to microwave. Your own pudding mince pies drink etc.

[Camscot]

Sounds very petty to me, I would tell them you are funding you and your sisters lunch by yourself and that there is no reason why you both cannot enjoy your lunch together with one another.

[Jofisher]

I cannot see that this is acceptable on any level, I would challenge this absolutely. SpeaK to the care quality commission carers association the social workers who fund your loved one I would go anywhere and everywhere I could to challenge this.

[BenjiB]

does she live in supported living? Who is her appsointee?

[49Twister]

I've never heard such twaddle in all my life. What costs would actually be incurred if you were to join her. Are they talking about the cost of the Xmas Dinner or something else? She has asked you to join her, your her brother and they should do everything they can to allow you to do that, it's Xmas day!!! What kind of place is she living in, go to the top of management with this, even offer to pay for your ĺunch if necessary. This is just aweful for you and your sister especially at Xmas, sounds like Scrooge is running this place. I understand they probably can't supply everyone's relatives with Xmas Dinner and time is of the essence now but this should have been explained better, such a shame. Wishing you both a Merry Xmas.

[SpeedyH]

He there. Mental capacity isn't a 'have it or don't have it' thing. You can have capacity to make certain decisions but not have capacity to make others. If your sister has indicated that she wants you to visit to spend Christmas Dinner with her, she has shown capacity to make that decision. If you can contribute to the cost of your meal, and don't have care needs yourself, there shouldn't be a problem.

[TPrider]

When it comes to who can authorise any cost then, that's a legal matter. Whoever it is, as long as it is in her 'best interest' then it can be justified. Best interest is open to debate but I would argue it is something she wants, something she will benefit from and something she can afford. They would need to come up with a reason why it was not in her best interest.

Of course, they can delay and probably will until it's a mute point.

As previously stated, capacity is not a one size fits all. If she can demonstrate she understands the implications of your visit weighing up the issues, she has capacity to make that decision. If she just 'indicates' she wants you there but it's dead sketchy she really much knows what she is saying then, she lacks capacity to make that decision.

Someone though must be appointed to make best interest decisions. An advocate, a social worker and, of course, a next of kin should be in the loop.

If the carers are objecting to their property being used, if it is a shared space then, well, it's their property. They do have the right to say who turns up. If it is her property, they lose that right especially if you reduce costs to zero.

It's all rather too on top of Christmas to go any legal route. Contact the social worker, if you can and ask them for a best interest decision. It takes a very cold social worker indeed to open themselves up to this sort of terrible publicity at Christmas unless they can back it up by safeguarding decisions.