Sorry menCap but you couldn't help me and you didn'... - Mencap

Mencap

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Sorry menCap but you couldn't help me and you didn't listen again sticking up for the authorities again because they know best no they don't

33 Replies

I have been in touch with mencap and they could not help me with my brothers autism learning difficulties and challengeing behaviour because I asked them why after all these years have that put my brother into independent living when he can't read and write and do all his day to task with out haveing the support for his health and social care needs what the authorities have totally denied my brother from September last year where he was put into independent living to take care of himself with his complex needs now the authorities have totally let my brother and his family down because now he is self-neglecting and not eating he cant keep his flat clean and a safe environment to live in he is living above a off licence and with my brothers obsessions now achol has been thrown in the mix he is just drinking him self in to ablevion day in and day out got now through for his self care and no thought for his health needs because he has autism challengeing behaviour and learning so he has no concept of how to live a normal life because he was born with these complex needs and will never recover from them but because there are all these cut backs the authorities have given him full capacity to go it alone without giving him the correct care and assessment for chc the authorities are totally and utterly denied my brother any of this care he should be entitled to because he has these complex needs the authorities are using and abuseing his mental health now by taking his key away from him by saying there is 24 hour supervision in place for him and taking control of his bank card and finances because he has not got the capacity to take care of all of this but the authorities have given him full capacity yet they say all this care is in place for him no I have proof and evidence that he is self-neglecting him self and being used and and abused by these so called professional people so now they have stopped me from going to visit him by saying to me we will have you arrested for trespassing if you come to visit your brother bear in mind he has been given full capacity to be independent but the authorities are controlling him by not letting him have any family members go to check up on him and by controling him and underhanded taking away his libertys and I have questioned the authorities and asked for the proof and evidence and legal assessment and documents to say have you got authorities to do this and the answer I am getting he has full capacity and we can't give you this information due to confidentiality we need your brothers concent and my brother doesn't even now what consent means so how convenient his this and this how the authorities are getting away with this sort of underhanded crime so they are not giving people like my brother the correct care for there needs and this is how the are cutting there adult and social care buget by leaving people like my brother who cant take care of themselfs and the authorities now full well in the end they will die because people like my brother can't stick up for themselves and protect them selfs from this sort of abuse and neglect the authorities are inflicting on people like my brother who has all these complex needs so now I am just waiting for that call to say your brother is no longer with you all because the authorities want to save money by denying the correct care to be put in place the code of conduct and duty of care don't matter any more and peoples medical records and history don't come in to play no more they just want to get these people out of the way so they don't have to pay for the correct care to be put in place because the authorities all have titles before there names and nobody wants to question anyone with doctor or support worker or social worker o no they have all these degrees and been to college they know what they are doing for listening to the familys of these people what do they know they haven't got a clue about there relative past history and grow up with all these complex needs my brother has o no we will listen tomthe experts they know what they are doing well sorry they have not got a clue so they are literally getting away with murder because nobody wants to question there authority so they can get away with using there positions and using and abuseing there position and getting away with it what a very sad world we all live in x

33 Replies
Jofisher profile image
Jofisher

Speak to the carers association get him an advocate they’re called I.M.C.A.S. and if your in a position to pay for a consultant social worker I have a contact. But I’m not touting for her business but I do know her and she helped me enormously I couldn’t have done it without her. She may know other people you can contact local to you. I believe she maybe on holiday for a week or so let me know if this is of interest. You could also make a formal complaint to the people that find your brothers care and see where that gets you as well.

in reply toJofisher

Thank you for your email I have been down every Avenue they go so far and all the authorities say to them my brother has to give his consent like I say my poor brother dose not know what the word consent means I have all the proof and evidence and the amount of emails I have is unbelievable I lost my job last year due to covid19 so not in any position to pay for any one but again many thanks x

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to

Have you tried your M.P.

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply toJofisher

I’m sure she would be able to advise you on where to go if your not in a position to pay. It sounds like they are saying your brother has mental capacity to make decisions but your saying he doesn’t. Every decision needs to be assessed individually for example my son can choose from one packet of crisps or another but he wouldn’t have a clue about consent or where he should live or anything else for that matter and he’s non verbal also so communication with him would be extremely difficult. I would consider getting lasting power of attorney for him if they’re saying he has capacity for property and finance and health and well being and then you will have the court behind you as well. You can complete the forms online and your brother could pay for these out of his benefits as it’s for him at the end of the day.

in reply toJofisher

O yes I have had letter back from her saying they will be looking into it this was last year in the December time and nothing after I sent another email this year and still nothing came back it is the authorities they seem to think they have a answer for everyone one I contact and everyone hits that well he has full capacity we need his consent for us to go a head with these complants again nobody wants to question these authorities because of there title in front of there name so they are playing well he has full capacity game so they are just using this all the time my brother can't read and write he can't cook because he can't read any instructions on the boxes of how to cook them he is eating moldy for that is out of date and still nobody is batting a eye lid but because these authorities are controlling my brother underhanded and taking away his libertys by them breaking the law and nobody is asking the question well why has you given him full capacity yet you are taking it away and nobody wants to go in to the authorities and question them well were are all the legal documents and legal assessment to say you have the authorities to do this they are just using this excuse well he has full capacity you have to get is consent to take any further action so whitch every way I have been this is there excuse I have even been down the route of them ombudsman and guess what he has full capacity we need his consent I even put a complaint together for him and got him to sign it about they way he was being treated by these support workers and guss what I had a email back saying we have phoned your brother and gess what he didn't give his consent and his signature his not enough so now has I say they have stoped me from going to vist him because there authorities have got full control over my brother and using and abuseing his mental health to cover there own backs so again I am now at a lose I have had 12 mouths of this and my family has seen me go through hell and back and have told me you have to let this go so this is what I have to do and just sit back waiting for that call that my brother is no longer with us I have done everything in my power to try and protect my brother and I am now just waiting for that day but along the way I have got all the evidence I need if it will do any good if anthing happens so thank you again I have tryed every thing on the internet even this web site and they to had no answer for me just seem to sticking up for the authorities there is no help what so ever but thank you x

Get a private psychiatrist or private doctor to evaluate him and take that report to authority or social workers

in reply toAutisticframework

I have done everything I can for him I even rang the his doctors yesterday and asked all these questions there was a lot so she asked me to print them out and take them down to my brothers doctors so that is what I have done and now I have to waite untill the 17th September to talk to his real doctor to get these answers to my question and see what see has to say not sure at what poor excuses she will come up no doubt it will be some excuse or othere any way the appointment has been booked just have to waite now his medical records shows he doesn't have capacity because of all these complex needs he has but he authorities have chosen to give him full capacity yet they are controlling him because they will not pay for the correct care for him and the know this and this social worker will not talk to me because I told what she is doing with my brother and she can't face me or talk to me and the amount of safeguarding concerns I have put in is unbelievable and again they are using this full capacity card and making out that I am the bad guy to my brother so he doesn't give his consent whitch I think is wrong way to go about a safeguarding concern it is because the authorities dont want to waste time and resources in to doing a full safeguarding concern so again I have done everything I can many thanks x

PurpleHues profile image
PurpleHues

Just a thought but maybe an advocate may be able to help or an organisation like Contact or Sibs may be able to offer you more advice. If you would like further advice and support from Mencap please do fill in the webform here: mencap.org.uk/contact/conta... or call the Helpline on 0808 808 1111 between 10am and 3pm Monday to Friday. I hope you get the support you need soon.

in reply toPurpleHues

I have all ready tryed tired a advocate and again came unstuck with this card the authorities are playing you have to get consent of your brother befor we can go ahead with any complaints so again I am just banging my head up a brick wall from ombudsman local mp doctor's social worker and support workers been to mencap been to siblings. Com been to powher been to black country health been to pals and many more it is like they are in this together because nobody wants to take me seriously so has I say I am all done and I can't do any more for my brother o I have even been to the police a d a police station with all my evidence and even they turn me away the is no duty of care no code of conduct and nothing to protect these extremely vulnerable adults and the police are supposed to protect vulnerable adults not no more it is down to social services but has I say they are just getting away with treating vulnerable adult this way because they can get away with this sort of cruel awful crime because the poor vulnerable adults cant speak up for them selfs and they know this this is why there familys are being totally and utterly ignored because it is there human rights to live like this but nobody is actually going in and seeing what is actually happening behind all this crime the authorities are committing and they are actually using and abuseing these vulnerable adults in this cruel way the things I have seen with my brother would make your hair curl and trust me it has been bad and now because I have been doing this complaining they are now saying if I attempted to go and see my brother they will have me arrested for trespassing because again my brother dose not know how to even use his intercom in his flat and also they are in control of my brothers key and also my brother cant even use a phone so I can't even contact him to ask if he is ok like I say the authorities are holding all the cards and treating vulnerable adults like caged animals and trust me that is actually what they are doing with my brother it is such a very selfish world we live and nobody has got a heart any more just everyone to me are just out for themselves so I am tring my hardest to come to terms I might not ever see my brother again and the tears are running down my eyes while I am writing this but that for your email much appreciate many thanks x

Hi I understand your complaints and your rant. But you can’t blame mencap for someone else’s failures. First of all. Mencap is a disability Chatity not an autism charity. So I suggest you contact the NAS they are the leading National autism Chatity. Next I suggest you get your brother an advocate in your area. He has a right to one or a solicitor.

If your brother has those complex needs I Doubt they would put your brother in a flat all alone.

Even if he has capacity as you say they say he has.

He certainly would need a support worker with him a one to one.

Get him an independent asseememts for capacity.

Then if that is said he lacks capacity you can become he’s nearest relative and he’s appointee.

Also if he has capacity you can ask him to allow you to become he’s appointed legal guardian ie go to court and get welfare health and finance fir him.

Or if he is deemed not to have capacity you can actually apply for Deputyship with that then you can make all decisions about your brother.

So be proactive, find your way don’t expect Chatitys to do it for you.

Please don’t blame them , it’s Holly unfair they have so much on their agendas and not forgetting that it’s been covid situation.

So please start with that advocate. Solicitor. Guardianship or deputyship. You can’t have both you need to see what one suits best according to hes ability or capacity.

in reply to

I sed I was sorry but when I spoke to some from mencap they just seemed they were going in the direction of the authorities he dose have learning difficulties and that is what your charity is about I thought you could give me some advice like I say I didn't mean to come across that you are a bad charity you do wonderful work no doubt for the people you help it is just on this instance I felt I was not just getting the help and support so I am sorry if I have afended any one but I did not mean to we all have freedom of speech so really and truly this is the way I felt like I say I didn't mean to come across at haveing ago or afending any one this is just my opinion on how I feel I am sorry but we all have the right to state opinions are we not yes you do great work I am not denying you of that just in my case I just I was not being listened to that is just my opinion so nobody can be perfect we all try but I am sure that you can't help everyone and in my case you couldn't give me the advice and help and support I needed we all have the rights and freedom of speech wether it be good or bad but this is how I felt so again I didn't mean to come across has making you out to be a bad charity far from there are brilliant charities and if we did not have them we would all be lost charities are what keeps people in hard times going so far from having ago I hold my hat of to you all and that is my opinion on all these charity things you all do but again in my opinion I felt I was not getting any help or support so believe this far from any dig at the charity work you all do hope you understand and again I am sorry and believe me I have been down every ave you can think of but now I have just come across some new evidence and this involves the social worker so now I am hoping this new evidence will now let everyone know I have been telling the truth all along and this social worker has been using and abuseing her position in the most cruel way and with my findings I hope she will have what is coming to her Many thanks x

Michele1965 profile image
Michele1965 in reply to

Have you considered media ie radio/journalist who oversee scrutinise the powers service delivery of the health/ social care/ local authorities in your area or wider area as your story is sadly all too common and is only becoming more common as covid is being used in social care to justify behaviour and decisions of those with gate keeping powers. I feel that as your and your brother's experience is not isolated this must be given appropriate spotlight to get behaviour of the decision makers to questioned and scrutinised to see if legal and moral. The response by leosammas was in my opinion harsh and not supportive of you. It is apparent that you are very invested in seeking help for your brother. You must be emotionally and physically exhausted. Have you close family or friends who can give you emotional and practical support during this very stressful time. Your love and concern for your brother is very apparent.

in reply toMichele1965

I thank you for your feed back very much appreciate yes I am all drained out I have one sister I reached out to and had not spoken to her in over 10 years she to went to see my brother and she put in a safeguarding concern and now because she has made a complaint they will not let her go to see him to they are also saying to her you to will be arrested for trespassing in you go anywhere by our brother yes I have had 12 mouths of this and I have just found out that the social worker on my brothers case is just a social worker and not approved mental health professional or a best interests assessor so she not even qualified to do assessment what so ever and she has been telling everyone she is this is the of thing these authorities are getting away with because has I say social worker title in front of there name everyone has to believe them you would not believe what I have done over the last 12 mouths it is us the relative that nobody what's to believe and these unprofessional people have also split my family up by making half of the believe all this fantastic care is place for my brother and now we have fell out it is so wrong what they are doing I would love to go to the press but I don't now where to start I did contact the itv news but got nothing back but again I thank you.

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply to

I was watching Rip Off Britain the other night on BBC I think it was. You are certainly being ripped off trying to help your brother.

in reply toHolisticMum

I know you are so right many thanks 💙

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply toMichele1965

Well said. I feel immensely sad for Pickandmix. I have seen people who need help go through all the right channels, doctors letters, medical reports etc etc and still years later have got no further than when they started.People that are not in that situation or no of no one in that type of situation must really find it unbelievable.

But living in this type of life where no one is helping or passing you from pillar to post is exhausting.

It is terrible to have people suffer in this way when all they want to do is help their sibling.

The Authorities create problems and never seem to solve them and help.

Pickandmix, I wish you all the luck in the world. You desperately need it.

Bless you for all the help you are trying to give your brother. xxx

in reply toHolisticMum

Thank you so much for your reply very much appreciated 💙

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply to

I have 2 sons with special needs and every day I am scared for their future. xx

in reply toHolisticMum

The only thing that will protect them is having a lasting power of attorney that will be the only way you have full control over what happens and the only way you will have a say in want you want for them and no authority will have any power over a lasting power of attorney many thanks hope this helps you 💙

in reply to

Or a deputyship these may be something you could look into there is all so a appointee but is only to help to fill out forms if they have learning disabilities there is a few options a bit of research would help because if your boys are not 18 yet there should be time to get something in place before they become 18 because after that is when all the problems will start with your boys having full capacity and this will be when you will have no control and end up being up against with the authorities just a few options for you many thanks hope this will help and anyone out there who have children with complex needs is just research because getting somthing in place before they are a adult will help with making decisions for them in the future all the best 💙

in reply toMichele1965

I don’t think I was harsh at all. I was being honest. And by the way I actually give great advice. So please don’t be condescending. I simply said blaming Mancap not the way.

I advised on advocate. Solicitor and Deputyship as well as power of attorney and appointee. What did you advise? Go to media? For that? Do you think the media will do anything about that? No they want serious failures and abuse.

Honestly I was really being honest and kind. It’s who I am am blunt amd honest simply because I hate the bashing of Charities.

Am sorry to pickandmix it really was not meant to be upsetting or confrontational. Do my apologies to you. What I said is through my own experience. Leo. I have been on the National media as well but it was for serious issues.

I really feel you case is best directed to an advocate and solicitor.

49Twister profile image
49Twister in reply to

Seriously you don’t think you were harsh!! You are the condescending one, you don’t think this is a SERIOUS failure/abuse omg. She’s desperately concerned for her brothers welfare and safety for goodness sake. Pleased you apologised to Pickand mix but have noticed your bluntness on other posts which isn’t very nice to see. You need to be kinder.

in reply to49Twister

Thank you so 49twister I much appreciate your support bless you 💙

in reply to49Twister

Your crazy that’s what you are. I am a very kind person you don’t know shit about me so stay on your Lane. Kindly go way. I take back my apology now. I was actually making a lot of sense. Because I happen to know about the issue why I did tell him her how to go about. And I stand by what I said. It’s not a case foe the media. Do your work first. Then go further. All I was trying to say. But since your a busybody I say to you billy much? I won’t allow you who don’t know shit about me to say to me be kinder. You don’t know me.

49Twister profile image
49Twister in reply to

You’ve just proved what a horrible person you really are, say no more ☹️

in reply to49Twister

I have clicked on the report this is not the way someone should be acting on a health forum so I hope this leo gets taken off this forum many thanks again for your support 💙

Michele1965 profile image
Michele1965 in reply to

Having read this rant I very much stand by my opinion.

49Twister profile image
49Twister in reply to

You don’t need to apologise Pickandmix I feel your pain and totally understand how exhausted you are trying to get someone to listen and understand the concerns you have for your brother. I agree with all that Michelle 1965 is saying, and your right these so called professionals are not always what they seem, and some are not as invested as we would like them to be. Sorry I can’t be more help, but need you to know I’m on your side, you desperately need support in all of this. Take care 💙

in reply to49Twister

Many thanks 💙

XGCC profile image
XGCC

Trespass is a civil matter, not a criminal one although you could be arrested for breach of the peace. The dr. is the way to go and assess capacity and see whether he wishes you to be involved or not.

in reply toXGCC

Thank you for your reply yes I can talk to my brothers doctor on his behalf because I am down has his main point of contract I phoned them and stated all my concerns and I also had to take a letter down to my brothers surgery the othere day so I am hoping I will have some come back from this many thanks x

Maurice_Mencap profile image
Maurice_MencapPartner

I am sorry that you feel Mencap haven’t helped you and I really understand that this is a difficult time.

We have advised you on how to challenge your brothers mental capacity assessment, as you believe it to be incorrect - please let us know if you need any further support in doing so.

If anyone else should find themselves in a similar situation, we encourage you to contact our helpline on 0808 808 1111.

xenababe999 profile image
xenababe999

OMG OMG. You are such a caring sister and hold your head up to that ok. Breath and breath and remember why you posted this amazing and heartfelt post. Ask yourself, even write down why you are so annoyed..... we can rant on here (have done myself...many times LOL) angry with him? parents? siblings? friends? faith advisors? yourself? family friend? or not? I am not a health worker ok just a fellow you know what. Take care.

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