Advice re 5 year old with severe behavioural issues.

[Ukrainesponsor]

I am sponsoring a Ukrainian family to live with me through the Homes for Ukraine scheme. This includes a 5 year old child with severe behavioural issues; he has already been "expelled" from a summer camp after one day. Our GP has said he is not autistic, but perhaps suffering from trauma. The mum and I are at our wits' ends as we have been unable to identify any support for this situation. I am hoping for advice.

[Jofisher]

Social services child disability team should be able to advise you also the carers association to support mum and yourself. Speak to your local council help point to see what they can offer as well. There is also a behavioural team within the mental health services and child community mental health team. I don’t think the G P is qualified enough to say if he’s traumatised or otherwise it’s not his specialty so he needs to refer you so Once armed with more information I would ask for referrals into all the services available to you do t forget mencap helpline as well and autism society for information and advice

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to Jofisher]

thank you

[Jofisher in reply to Ukrainesponsor]

Your very welcome if you have any other questions do ask because we maybe able to help you. I am also devastated by what has happened to your country and to all those affected. Your child should hopefully be entitled to benefits and there should be charities where you can get help as well. Good luck with everything

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to Jofisher]

Thanks, but it is not my child. I am the family's "sponsor" and they are living with me. The mum speaks very limited English, and it would be impossible for her to try to navigate the various options. Even though I am British, I am finding it very challenging to identify support!

[Jofisher in reply to Ukrainesponsor]

I bet the best contacts to go for first are the carers association and explain all your difficulties they should be able to guide you. What age is the child ? Are they attending a play group nursery or are they at school ? Sorry to ask so many questions but I can then understand more.

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to Jofisher]

The child is 5. He arrived in June and only attended school for a couple of weeks where the teachers struggled to deal with him, but were not prepared to start any kind of assessment process before term end. He was "expelled" after one day at a day camp as the carers there could not cope with him. He was aggressive towards other children, screaming, drawing on the floor/wall and would melt down any time the carers tried to stop him. None of this is particularly surprising given language difficulties and what the family have been through, but we just need support and can't seem to find it easily.

[Jofisher in reply to Ukrainesponsor]

Bless him poor little thing is this all a new thing or was he having problems like this before all the troubles he’s been through. I would definitely start with the carers association I’m also wondering if the N.S.P.C.C. Could be of any help. I’m going to ask a friend whose a very knowledgeable social worker and see what she would recommend in case I’ve missed something.

[BenjiB]

Firstly I’ve absolutely no idea how a GP would know if he had autism or not! He’s definitely not qualified to say that.

What issues does he do that make you suspect autism (I mean apart from behaviour issues which in themselves do not point towards autism)?

You’d need to go back to the GP and ask them to refer you to CAMHS .

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to BenjiB]

Thank you for your response. Our challenge is that this is all brand new to me, and I am starting from scratch to try to seek out support. The GP seemed to be a good place to start. She has referred to CAMHS but as you know, the wait could be very long.

[SpeedyH]

Hi there. You don’t say whether the child has a suspected/diagnosed learning disability which is important as it will impact on the pathway to support. I wouldn’t be surprised that the poor child has struggled at summer camp after fleeing a war torn country and repatriating with strangers in a new culture and climate. I hope you manage to source the support he needs. 😢

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to SpeedyH]

Thank you for your response. Our challenge is that this is all brand new to me, and I am starting from scratch to try to seek out support. Although the child had some issues before coming here, there was no formal diagnosis.

[Gus56]

Hello. I agree with SpeedyH. There is so little information. "Severe behavioural issues" is not giving enough information about how long this has gone on, what these issues are etc. After going through what this child and parent have done, I think it's early to be asking for a diagnosis. The trauma caused by the upheaval in this family's life could be impacting on an underlying condition, if there is one. In my experience a referral to CAMHS could be helpful but probably a long wait. I wish I could suggest a more helpful answer. It sounds like this is a long process ahead. If you could provide a bit more information it might help us to think where more help might be available ? I wish you all well with this challenging situation.

[Gus56]

Hello again. You are doing such a brave and kind act helping this poor family. I was thinking about this issue and was struck by what you said about the boy's mother being so stressed. In my experience any diagnosis/referral etc won't have any immediate impact, but emotional support/advice to his mum might. So I wondered about any refugee support network/organisation that might be able to offer her some support? Is the boy going to start school? Help could be available through school too? I do hope they find the help they need.

[Ukrainesponsor in reply to Gus56]

Thank you for your messages. The child had a few weeks of school, and they are overwhelmed. They have 6 Ukrainian children in his class and are already struggling to cope. They basically had the child "on hold" until the end of term. I am trying to find support for the entire family, but there is so little available, particularly with the language barriers. I will keep going though!

[learner01]

Even if this child had behavioural problems previously or is autistic he almost certainly has been traumatised since he has come from a war zone and that will only make it harder for him. He is very young and even without the war situation he has been through he is in a situation that is traumatising in itself. He is in a completely different country , a strange place, new people in his life, language he is unfamiliar with and has probably had to leave behind loved ones. His world has been turned upside down and he’s only 5 years old so has very limited understanding of what is going on. He doesn’t have the maturity to cope with it and is probably terrified. He needs lots of love and reassurance. Since he has lost a lot he probably fears losing his mother so it’s not surprising that he couldn’t cope with being away from her. It’s difficult and can be traumatising for children who don’t have problems going to new places, such as starting school having to cope on their own and if he is autistic or has other problems such as sensory issues it would be even worse for him. He needs time to recover from what he has been through and someone to gently investigate if there are other issues. It would be best to get help from those who understand about trauma and it’s effects. Not many people are trained to work in a trauma informed way so you will need to make sure that you get help from someone who is. He probably needs to stay close to his mother who may also be traumatised herself, and through plenty of love and reassurance gradually learn that he is safe. If he has been traumatised and finds himself in situations that are similar to those, he will react with fear, panic etc. He can’t help it - it’s the fight or flight response. Bild.org.uk and respond.org.uk are charities that work with traumatised people and may be able to advise about getting help.

[Ukrainesponsor]

Thank you for your response. All that you say is true, but I had no luck to date finding support. I will contact the organisations you mention. Thank you!

[Gus56]

Learner01 has written a lot of sense I think. I hope you find help from one of those organisations. I also suggest it might be an idea to contact your local educational psychology service direct. They will be staffed over the summer holidays. You can find contact details via your local council number. The reason for this suggestion is that if things have not improved in September there ought to be an option for some support for education, if it is decided to pursue a school place. Although schooling just now does not seem to be a priority, and emotional welfare does. Hope that's helpful.