Immigrant mom in desperate need of advice re: where to start ?!

[Ordinarymum2]

Hi everyone

Have been reading so many inspiring posts by fellow mums of disabled adult children. My husband and I made the really sad and difficult decision to leave South Africa with our very gentle,intellectually disabled, non verbal, ASD daughter, as the country is a dangerous place for the vulnerable and there is absolutely no support. We initially went to Ireland ( Irish passport holders))where she attended a wonderful day service daily while I taught at the local primary school. After a year we missed family too much and never really settled there. As our other 2 adult children are soon to move to the UK and we have many family members here, we have moved and I am due to start teaching in Oxfordshire in September. We’ve been her 2 weeks and the admin is wearing me down. I’ll get over my pity party in about 5 minutes, but would do appreciate advice. If we need her to attend a day service so we are able to work, how do I make that happen. From my understanding, once we’ve moved to an area, only then can we get someone from the council to do an assessment of needs. Then do they recommend the most appropriate service? If I need to open a bank account for her and apply for benefits, do I need formal guardianship?

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

[Jofisher]

hi so sorry to hear all your going through as a family. Right I would advise any parent to go for deputyships for their loved one once they near and or before they get to 18 if they lack mental capacity otherwise it would be a lasting power of attorney you would need once she’s 18 that’s my first advice you can do that on the gov.uk website. Contact the carers association as they can do a carers needs assessment for you so you can discuss working and what you need and adult social services can do a needs assessment for your daughter either go through to the under 18’s children’s services or adult for 18 and over. Regarding benefits you can be an appointee for benefits you have to open a bank account in your name I believe but you need some documentation to prove all this so ask the bank. Once you have a deputyship that can change I believe into their name. Speak to the mencap helpline as well if you’re struggling as they can be helpful. Also your local area voluntary service as they can help you with what’s going on in the area you’re going to and they can put you in touch with all sorts of people and local groups . The local council can deliver yellow bins for pads if you have to use them you can also get reductions on leisure the arts like theatre tickets and a C.E.A. Card to go to the autism friendly screening if of interest And any other films. You can apply for a blue badge through the town council disabled bus pass if needed and disabled train discounts on tickets and parking at railway stations often to make parking easier. There is patients transport through GP surgeries if you need hospital visits that are difficult to attend with your daughter. If you end up going for a supported living service or a residential service again my only advice is go local so you can keep checking in on the placement and always check the care quality commission website to ensure as far as you can be that it’s a good one. Regarding funding for equipment or stuff to support your daughter the community voluntary services can often help with that. She will need a special needs N.H.S. dentist a lot of hospitals have them your G.P. Has to refer you I believe and if they say they don’t THEY DO !!!!!!! Hopefully once she’s had a needs assessment that will help. Mobility car can be applied for if she’s entitled to that which is extremely helpful as I could never travel on public transport with my son. I’ve also used a consultant social worker I have a contact if you can’t find one you have to pay for these and you can use your daughters benefits for that but that’s only if you have to fight for your daughters rights and aren’t getting what you think she needs. I don’t know fully your daughters needs but my son is funded through continuing healthcare which isn’t easy to get otherwise it’s through the local council. All the best and please come back with any other queries that you have as one of us In sure can help you.

[Ordinarymum2 in reply to Jofisher]

Thank you so much. That’s so helpful and reassuring. We are fortunate that she is mobile and not on any meds. You’ve answered loads of my questions. I may well come back to you for your social care consultant’s number. Thank you for taking your time to help. x

[Jofisher in reply to Ordinarymum2]

your very welcome ask anything anytime

[Annabellelily Community friend]

Hi there! So sorry to hear how challenging this has been, it definitely can be frustrating getting everything in order and the sheer amount of admin, keep going, and you’re doing great Overall, I would recommend calling Mencap’s Learning Disability Helpline at 0808 808 1111 or emailing them [e-mail] if you would prefer that, as they will be able to point you in the right direction for all your various questions and be able to tailor it to your new area. Wishing you the best of luck

[Ordinarymum2 in reply to Annabellelily]

Hi Annabellelily

Thank you for your encouagement. Spent the day near the village where i'll be teaching in Sept and sadly the local day services have no place for our girl so we'll have to look further afield. I'll definitely get hold of Mencap tomorrow to see if they have a database of service providers countrywide. That would be such a help. Rentals are like hen's teeth at the moment, so that is as beg a challenge now. I plan on phoning county councils tomorrow to see if they can send me a list of providers. Some are listed on their websites.

Will let you all know when we figure all of this out. x

[Chocolate-heals-all]

If you have decided to live here permanently then you’re entitled to approach local social services under the Care Act of 2014. They should do a proper needs assessment for your daughter. It might be that she’s better with a personal assistant who will go with her to places in the community instead of spending all day every day in a day centre. The social worker should ask about your daughter’s interests, strengths, support needs, and her goals in the short and long term. Then they should do a care plan to make sure your daughter’s needs are met. That might mean a day centre or a PA or a combination. It might mean direct payments for you to find and pay a PA or a day centre or a college course. You’re also entitled to a carer assessment. As a carer, I get free access to some local sports facilities.

legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/20...

[Ordinarymum2 in reply to Chocolate-heals-all]

Thank you ! Brilliant to have this legislation at my fingertips..