8 year old

[D0LLy29]

Hi, my daughter is nearly 8, but at school still working at reception level curriculum. She acts and thinks like 4 year old and we have been told she has 50IQ No formal diagnosis of LD yet

What her life will be like as an adult? The thought of it terrifies me... how can you manage in the world with brain ability half from normal range...

[BenjiB]

I think you need to take one day at a time. The future can be terrifying otherwise. My son is 24 and functions at a 2-3 year level. He needs 24/7 support. When he was young I thought of little else. I had years if no sleep worrying. Now he is an adult . It’s been really really hard, I’m not going to lie but the best thing you can do now for your daughter is to make sure she gets the very best support especially at school. If she doesn’t have an EHCP I would start that process straight away to make sure she gets the support she needs at school. IPSEA is a great resource.

[D0LLy29 in reply to BenjiB]

We have EHCP, I did parental request successfully in year 1. Thank you for your reply

[Roseannie in reply to D0LLy29]

My daughter is 27 and functions about 4-5. She was still able to learn at the special schools she went to and even now goes to a learning group at the local adult education college where she continues to achieve improvements in her reading and writing. Above all she enjoys life. She loves going out to eat and we have always been welcomed even when she makes more mess than most children do. She spends hours on her iPad looking at cartoons and music. I think the scrolling through looking for things and following links helps literacy and curiosity and a sense of her own agency.

So you need to get the right educational placement for which the EHCP is the first step. And let her develop her own pleasures.

The worry we have is for after our deaths (we are in our late 60s) and I have posted about this before . It is difficult at the present time to interest social services in a future situation but we are going to start visiting care homes in the new year.

[DrSarahmac in reply to Roseannie]

Oh and yes my daughter is literate. It took time but we got there. Her hand writing is appalling (so is my husbands🤣) but she can read perfectly well. She has a fantastic vocabulary too. Again the more exposure to books/writing and spoken language the better.

[DrSarahmac]

hi. I’d agree with the previous posts. It is scary and you can’t escape that but you will adapt in time and learn that it’s ok and it is what it is. Focus on the things you can affect and improve and accept those you can’t. It takes time. I spent a lot of time worrying about the future and probably grieving for the child I thought I was getting I don’t know if there’s any better way through that. It takes time but it gets easier.

My daughter is 37. I’d say she was like a 4 year old at age 8 and I can completely relate to how you’re feeling now

At 37 my daughter has a part time job and can travel independently in the local area she lives in her own flat very near to us and we support her with a lot but it gives both her and us some time to ourselves.

She is very social and goes to clubs and meets up with people for coffees and lunch and goes on coach trips with friends. Recently she’s started travelling wider afield with a trusted friend and they are planning a trip abroad next year. I never ever dared hope for that when she was a child. Every year we see her gain new skills and greater independence. It will never be complete but it’s ok - she has a very good life.

We learned a lot with time. The main things were that people by and large are inordinately kind and will look out for your daughter. And the more stimulation and experience your daughter has of the world and different situations the better equipped she will be to cope. I’ve seen people wrap their LD kids in cotton wool and frighten them about their condition and it leaves them with little preparation for the world.

You can’t know now what the future holds for her but I promise it can be fun if you embrace who she is. It will be hard work and scary too but all parenting is we just have different fears

Make her positive and brave and she will achieve her potential and amaze you!!

[D0LLy29 in reply to DrSarahmac]

Thank you, your story is so encouraging.