For my brother

I have a brother with leaning disabilities challenging behaviour autism up until about four years ago he was in supported accommodation for his needs now along came the government with spending cuts he is in a flat to be more independent not my brother he can't read write and do simple maths he his self neglecting himself i have raised concerns to adult social care and with his support worker and with his social worker and i have also gone to the safeguarding team and the company my brother his under witch is inmind nobody is seems to be listening to me and they are not seeing what i am seeing this is so odd nobody wants to help me when i start asking questions why my brother is in the situation nobody wants at answer me i have told all who is involved with my brother if anything happens to him i will take them to court the lot of them he has obviously behaviour radios has always been his thing has he grown in to a teenage he got an obsession with fags and achol which with the achol he was getting into a lot of trouble this his when he was sectioned under the mental health act they told my mom back my brother would never be able to live independently until the government has stepped in and put a stop to that he shouldn't be drinking achol at all as fuels his aggression now they have given him more freedom with minimal support he has gone way out of control now he is a alcoholic wanting achol every day now the support worker can't control my brother because they say he can make up his own mind the social worker i have tryed to tell her about my brother's back ground she is having none of it she thinks she nows what is best for my brother i told them when he was moved into this accommodation when he started to drink achol you will not cope with he is not looking after his self his flat is never clean when i visit him he is not getting the right daily meals and the support worker are supposed to help with these decisions in day to day care no he is not because my brother's mind now is on achol tobacco and his radios because cause of his mental illness and the support worker leaves him alone because i think he scared of my brother because of his aggression so he leaves him to own mind not good now for my brother's health he is getting neglected from all sides and no help because they are not qualified to help someone like my i have asked what assessment has been done for my brother nobody wants to help i am sure that a social worker should work with the family of someone like my brothers mental health and she has no rights to put my brother in this situation with talking to his family no joy at all with any one who is involved with my brothers care not even his doctor all of this is making me very suspicious of what is really going on with my brother it seems to all be very suspicious i have told them all if anything happens to my brother they will have to take the blame for my brother because i have done all i can to get my brother in the care he needs and yes i sent in complaints and it seems to me nobody will do anthing without the say so of this social worker i am sure she has not got that power over all who are involved with my brother has she

[49Twister]

Hi I really feel for your situation and hope someone on here is able to give you some good advice. My son is in supported living which leaves a lot to be desired but I had to really fight for this as the thought of him living alone was very scary. There are too many in the same situation as your brother and it is shocking. I know many adults with LD left to their own devices instead of being supported and looked after appropriately. In my eyes they are neglected as you say as they really don’t have the capacity to make the right choices regarding health, finances etc. Do you or any other family member have power of attorney or deputy ship for your brother, it sounds like you don’t but this would give you some say in decision making. I would speak to his GP and express your concerns regarding his alcohol consumption, again you probably can’t due to data protection which is frustrating. You don’t say how old your brother is but if you or someone who has the authority, possibly someone who supports him, speaks to the gp and gets the gp involved is a starting point. I would probably ask gp to refer your brother to psychologist to reassess his level of capacity. It sounds like your brother might not be willing to do that but I would certainly give it a go. I had my son reassessed in 2014 when he was 40. Because his speech was really good no-one listened to me, even though he’d gone to a special school all his life and he lived with me, I supported him in everything, so life has been really hard. He was born in the 70’s when there was no help whatsoever. Only when the assessment came back in black and white that he had severe learning disabilities did anybody sit up and listen. It was only then after the psychologist advised that my son needed 24 hr support as he wouldn’t be able to cope on his own that he was offered supported living. Before then they were advising him living on his own with some support, totally disregarding the very high level of support that I provided for all aspects of his life. Hope your able to get some help, definitely the gp should be made aware regarding the alcohol and shame on whoever is supporting him that they can’t see what is happening, or are choosing to ignore it. Good luck and let’s know how you get on, nothing happens overnight but you need to start somewhere.

[Hidden in reply to 49Twister]

Thank you so much yes i tried to speek to his doctor yes you are right data protection me and my mom are going to see a solicitor on Monday it is a right game has my mom gave birth to him and now she has to fight to have her say not good enough many thanks

[Iolo]

Hello. This sounds desperately worrying for you. It is always difficult to understand the circumstances of complicated situations such as this. It sounds positive that you seek legal advice and also if the complaints process for social care has not been satisfactory then I would suggest you look into the local authority ombudsman, I see in my area they upheld nearly 60% of complaints raised lgo.org.uk. This situation is likely to hinge of whether your brother lacks capacity to make certain decisions/choices for himself, as the law say we must assume he has capacity unless there is evidence otherwise. My curiosity would be with the social worker and support worker’s (and their employer’s) legal duty of care. Are they actively supporting him to understand, weigh up and make an informed choice? What reasonable steps have they been taken and are are they continuing to take? Because he is a vulnerable adult with eligible care needs it is important that they supportively help him to understand the risks of drinking alcohol (I will admit here I like a glass or 2 of wine each night, but I totally understand that decision), or whatever other decisions he is taking that seems to be compromising his well-being. What is most important is that you listen to what he wants as whether he has capacity or not, by everyone listening to him then people might get to heart of what is sadly going on for him as it strikes me that no one is particularly happy in this situation. Sorry I cannot be more help for you. I understand how powerless it can feel for families. Take good care.

[Hidden in reply to Iolo]

Most great full for you getting back to me yes i have sent in a complaint to the omnibus and yes it will take forever so i have made a decision and me and mom are going to see a solicitor tomorrow and i am going in armed and dangerous i have written a book for them to read about my bro and i am sure after tomorrow i will have something in place for him i will not give up this fight for my bro none of the care he is getting his helping his needs it is when i ring someone and complain about what i am seeing nobody's wants to help i am also telling his support worker and they can see he can't look after his self they all know i am right but nobody wants to put there hands up and say you are right i will not give up the fight for my brother's rights and get the support he is supposed to be getting for his mental health

[Tracidu in reply to Hidden]

Hi , I feel so sorry for your brother , he is so lucky to have you ß to fight for him .I have a 36 year old son with severe learning disabilities, he lives with me , his father passed away just over 2 years ago ,he was his best friend , I am worried what will happen to my son if I pass or cant cope anymore , I know I have to start looking for him to move on but it worries the life out of me , I really hope you get a good result for his future , sorry I'm not much help but I thought I would reply to your message to show empathy and support , I would like to know how you get on , take care .

[Hidden in reply to Tracidu]

Thank you so much will let everyone know when i have been to the solicitor i do hope me and mom can get him out this situation .

[Hidden in reply to Tracidu]

If you have any relatives may be something to think about in the future for peace of mind you yourself can become lasting power of attorney and you could also name a family member on this it is safe guard for your son and who has a say in all of his care there is also something called chc this continuing health care all this is on NHS web site or gov.com not sure if you seen this it would be best to get something in place for son because they will put him in a place like my brother but I am not sure about your situation and the capacity your son has you know would love to make it law were some one who has no mental capacity like my brother for a law to say your family need to make these decisions on your relatives behalf in stead them as the law as it stands is saying everyone has the right to make there own mind up this is what happened to my brother all these who are involved in my brothers care know they have done him wrong they want to put people like my brother out of sight out of mind just to save money because it will cost a lot more money for my brother to have around the clock care but I will get this and stop at nothing to get it him all the social care who I have rang and tried to talk to hate this because he has family who will fight for him but some people don't have family to fight for them so I am saying if you can do some research and if you can get things in place for your son it will help in your sons journey of his life hope this helps my brother was one who slipped through the net this is what has gone wrong and the care all know this because now I have spoken up and someone is going to be in very big trouble many thanks anita

[Tracidu in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou , I have just gone through The Court of Protection for him , he has very little mental capacity so Power of Attorney was not possible in his case,. My son will need 24/7 support , he is a healthy happy man but lacks capacity in all personal , ,welfare , monetary care . I dont want someone coming along and thinking they know what they think hes capable of which I have had over the years only to have him sent home because they didnt realise how he was ? . It would take to long to write about all the situations he has been put in. Very upsetting for both of us . I'm not an over protective mum and I have tried very hard to give him the best life and to mix outside the home with support but I am realistic as his abilities after 36 years . Thanks for reading . 😊

[Hidden in reply to Tracidu]

Bless you .you are doing a fantastic job with your son i wish you and your son all the best 😊 many thanks anita

[Skye_Bear Expert in reply to Tracidu]

HI, My Name is Lyndsey and I am a Contact & Assessment Team Advisor on The Mencap Learning Disability Helpline and just see you had tried to get COP. If someone doesn't have capacity then you would be better off getting Deputyship on either their Finance & Benefits or their Health & Welfare. However as there are costs involved you would be better advised by one of our Information & Advice officers who can look into what route would be most beneficial to your situation. You can either call our Mencap Helpline for free on 0808 808 1111 or email us on: [e-mail]. I hope you are able to get something sorted though please do not hesitate to get in touch for more precise information & advice.

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello Hidden

What a difficult situation. You and your mum are doing an amazing job trying to get the right support for your brother.

There are some great replies here, with lots of great ideas and support.

You talk about a lot of things in your post - you have a lot going on. Perhaps it would help to talk this through with one of Mencap's helpline advisors? You can call them on 0808 808 1111 10am to 3pm, Monday to Friday.

Or you can email [e-mail] if you prefer.

I hope it all goes well with they solicitor.

Best wishes

Sarah

[Sarah_Mencap in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Hello again. I also meant to post this link to the Safeguarding on Mencap's website - mencap.org.uk/advice-and-su...

Best wishes

Sarah

[Hidden in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Many thanks for your post I do hope I can get some where today when I go Thank you so much

[Skye_Bear Expert in reply to Hidden]

Hi, I posted further up to another lady but I can see from your original post that you are having an incredibly tough time at the moment. I've seen there is some great advice but I can only back up what Sarah has replied with and if after your Solicitor appointment today it still feels like a minefield then please do get in touch with us on the Learning Disability Helpline or email us on [e-mail] . We have a team of Information & Advice Officers that have a wealth of Knowledge around social care system. You are doing an amazing job!