Learning Disabled Brother looking for Love - Mencap

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Learning Disabled Brother looking for Love

LmAxInE profile image

My older disabled brother is 30, talkative and lives in a flat with support workers. He had a couple of placements, but since Covid he has been isolating at his flat and visiting us in the garden. I have found this extremely hard, but he has been asking for a girlfriend recently. He would like some company. He has cognitive learning delays, but is fun, into sports and loves his rabbits. If you know of anyone or anyway to help him in his search I would really appreciate it!

13 Replies

Hi, I’ve been looking for someone for my sister but with COVID-19 going on it’s kind of slowed things down but there are dating agencies on the Mencap website you could possibly sign up to

community.mencap.org.uk/t/s...

LmAxInE profile image
LmAxInE in reply to Dalfie2020

Thanks for your reply! How have you found looking for someone outside of covid? Im not sure my brother can cope with the technology of an app or I trust websites. It would be great to hear about any experience you have!

Hiya, Wirral Mencap do a lot of singles dating nights and also hold a conference sometimes on relationships. It might be worth contacting them as they would have to do a lot of research to set these up and see what other organisations were doing. They might be able to point you in the right direction. mencapwirral.org.uk/sex-rel...

LmAxInE profile image
LmAxInE in reply to 00ferrc

Thanks, I'll take a look. I am more interested in fellow sibling experiences in setting up their sibling.

Dalfie2020 profile image
Dalfie2020 in reply to LmAxInE

Hi LmAxIne, have you tried the charity called Sibs? You might find some people that have the same experience. sibs.org.uk

Disabled dating site?

Sarah_Mencap profile image
Sarah_MencapAdministrator

Hello @LmAxlnE

Welcome. And thanks for posting about your brother.

So many people are struggling with lockdown, and it may be making him feel more lonely. It is probably a very hard time to try to meet someone new, especially if he isn't comfortable meeting people online. Does he have any friends he is able to stay in touch with at this time.

It is great that he has managed to visit, if only in your garden. But I can understand why this may be upsetting for you both.

Does your brother have a mobile? Can he use WhatsApp or some other video? My family and I have been playing games in this way. It isn't so much about the game, it is more about having a laugh.

When the crisis has passed, and we are all able to venture out again. then there are options for dating. Here is a post that has a more up to date set of links - healthunlocked.com/mencap/p...

Your brother is very lucky to have you. As a sibling you might be interested in SIBS- the charity aimed at siblings. Find out more here - sibs.org.uk/support-for-adu...

Best wishes, and stay safe

Sarah

LmAxInE profile image
LmAxInE in reply to Sarah_Mencap

Thanks Sarah.

Hi LmAxInE - how are things going? Just wanted to say you're not alone in wanting to find your brother a girlfriend - many siblings hope for this too - and your post made me think of this article I saw a while back theguardian.com/lifeandstyl...

Thanks! really interesting article. Hard to hear that someone as eligible as him still struggles to find someone.

I_am_a_sibling profile image
I_am_a_siblingSurvey in reply to LmAxInE

Glad you found it interesting - here's some more....

A sibling sets up an agency after supporting her sister to date...

choicesupport.org.uk/about-...

Gr8 mates get engaged!

choicesupport.org.uk/about-...

And there will be lots more success stories out there. Lots of seemingly 'eligible' people struggle to find love (learning disability or not) and lots of seemingly 'uneligible' people get married and settle down. Don't give up hope. Fx

Hi my son luke is the same he's 26 and really wants a girlfriend he gets really upset to see other young men with a girl and he's left out. I have put him on a dating site called disability matches. It's 40 pounds a month. But it's worth looking on there for him as I'm talking to someone on there at moment for him . Good luck bless him xx

My 29yr daughter has been talking about this a lot lately and I’ve been looking at what I can do to help. I will now certainly have a look at the things recommended. Thankyou.

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