Advice required -suspected Neglect

[Barbado]

Good afternoon,

I am the oarent of a 29 years old male who has autism and OCD and leaves on his own with no support. He’s 3 hours drive from us.

I am visiting him , but only see him at evening s because impossible to meet up during the day because of his anxiety!

The first night met him at a restaurant.

Went to his place last night and was appalled by what I saw! Actually he is displaying all the signs of self neglect and this is of great concern to me as parents.

Poor self hygiene and self appearance (noticed quite red rashes at the crease of his arms), lack of essential food (empty fridge and cupboards) and consequently malnutrition and leaving in unsanitary conditions as his studio is very neglected. . He's also quite anxious and displaying repetitive behaviours.

What am I supposed to do? I have a duty of care towards my son but genuinely don’t know what to do as he’s an adult and has his mental capacity but there were lot of repetitive behaviours linked to his OCD I.e. he kept washing his hands non stop and this was accompanied by rituals. ..

Thank you.

[Jofisher]

Report it to safeguarding at his local council. As he clearly needs support as he is at risk to himself.

[Barbado in reply to Jofisher]

Thank you.

[Bluewatersixtysix in reply to Barbado]

Hi Barbado,

so sorry to hear about your son, must be a worrying time for you too. Agree with others, contact the duty team of your local authority, who should carry out an assessment of your sons needs, including risk to self, they also have a duty of care too under the community care act. Also, where is support for your self coming from?

[Galwaybay2]

That is deeply worrying. I know I'd want to make a nuisance of myself with social services and his GP. Also, the charity Autistica are in the news, (BBC R4 Today programme 7th September). campaigning for better support and intervention for people at risk like your son. It might be a good time to be on board with them rather than being alone. The sooner there's sensitive intervention the better, habits and repetitive behaviours don't usually get better if left.

[Barbado in reply to Galwaybay2]

Thank you.

[Mybestfriends]

Absolutely Report this to his Gp, Council & Adult Social Care CQC. There is now a Transforming Care under NHS Ibelieve, its all New but coming, push for answers. Safeguarding!!

[Purdybaby]

Hi Can you tell me if your son is living in a private or council flat ? Hope you dont mind me asking.

[Barbado in reply to Purdybaby]

Yes he is in a private but DSS in North London.

Thank you.

[Purdybaby in reply to Barbado]

And do dss pay all his rent as thats what im thinking of doning for my son as his got no chance of a council flat by what there told me.

[Barbado in reply to Purdybaby]

Yes they do. You need to look at places who accept DSS. You need to check with the local council or agencies which rent properties.

Hope this helps.

[Purdybaby in reply to Barbado]

They will only pay for shared accommodation as they siad cause his 28 years old. They siad he got to be 35 to get full rate. And his on esa and pip and i am his carer . How old is your son hope you dont mind me asking

[Purdybaby in reply to Purdybaby]

Also wanted to add theses council expect them to live at home for good. I told them his a grown men needs some independence. They couldnt careless. So im looking for a private rented flat for him at the moment then i still can help him like i do now but at least he get a taste of the big wide world. My friend lives in east sussex and that council has help her daughter so much but london areas hasnt got nothing .

[Barbado in reply to Purdybaby]

I am not sure how you can go about this. Can you involve your GP or the local NAS? Try to put a post on this Forum and maybe someone might be able to help.

[Annabellelily Community friend]

Hi there. I am so sorry to hear this, it must be very difficult and I can imagine how concerned and anxious you must be about your son's well-being. It's clear that your love and care for him run deep. I agree with other commenters to contact social services, local council, etc. It’s urgent, as he may be a risk to himself. On top of that, I would also recommend reaching out to Mencap’s Learning Disability Helpline at 0808 808 1111 as they will be able to give you some guidance on the paths you can go down and offer some support. Wishing you and your family the best going forwards.

[49Twister]

Would it not be possible for him to live nearer to you, 3 hours is a long way. Is there a reason for this? I think I would start by finding him somewhere nearer to live, easier said than done I know.Get in touch with adult social services at local authority and ask for their help in sorting this, I don't understand why he is so far away.

[Barbado in reply to 49Twister]

Thank you for your reply. It was his choice to be so far and yes agree with you.. Actually he’s coming back to live in a couple of days as he’s having enough of the place where he lives as it’s very noisy and asked my husband and I for help. I suppose that deep down he knows that things are not going well . Once at home we’re going to seek support for him .

[49Twister in reply to Barbado]

That's good to hear, take care and all the best. x

[Barbado]

Sorry to bother you. Would you recommend to seek help from GP and social services. Or would Social Services sort everything out. The thing is that we don’t want to wait for months for him to be seen by a professional as we need immediate help. Thank you.

[49Twister in reply to Barbado]

Social Services should sort everything out but if you have concerns about his physical/ mental health at all a visit to the GP would be helpful. It's a good idea to inform the gp of what's been happening anyway, to get them on side and if any referrals needed. x

[Barbado in reply to 49Twister]

Thank you.

[Hissone]

So sorry to hear that