1. Understand that ALL young people have the right to explore their sexuality.
2. Choose a calm, quiet, safe environment to talk.
3. You don't have to (and can't) know everything. If a question takes you by surprise, you can thank them for asking you and tell them you are going to find out more information and arrange to have a chat with them later on.
4. Try not to overwhelm - stick to simple facts and messages and extend on them if you need to.
5. There is no such thing as 'the talk' this is a continuous conversation, something to keep adding to as your child grows and changes.
6. Use the world around to spark conversation about these topics, for example soaps, TV programs. If your young person has a special interest see if you can link the topic somehow to that. This will make it relevant to them without being too personal.
7. Lead by example - model respecting privacy and consent by knocking (and waiting for them to say come in) before entering your childs room. Ask before touch, respect when your child does not want to be touched (unless it is for their safety, but this should also be explained)
8. Use the correct words for body parts! Penis, vulva, breasts, genitals are all words to describe body parts. People should be able to name these body parts just as they can say head, toes, elbow, nose. By using other words to disguise what we mean we often confuse young people but also we are saying there is something wrong with these body parts and discourage talking about them.
9. Be LGBT+ inclusive, It’s best not to assume gender or sexual orientation until your young person tells you. Be open and neutral in the way you describe crushes you can use gender neutral terms like ‘they’ and ‘partner’. If this is tricky to fit into your every day language try practising in other aspects of your life it quickly becomes a natural way to refer to people.
10. There is no one best way to talk to a child or young person about sex and relationships. Don’t be discouraged or upset if a particular method doesn’t work, have a break and try again. Remember why you are having the conversation and know that you are doing a great thing. By being open, non judgemental you are helping to prepare your child for adult life!
For more info on making RSE (relationships and sex education) accessible I spoke with Richard and Tammy from Mencap.
youtube.com/watch?v=Jntr-iR...
Also, we have many more helpful videos on our youtube channel youtube.com/user/BrookChari...
Check out our sexual expressions resource from last sexual health week. A resource for teachers and parents in aiding conversations about sexual expression!
legacy.brook.org.uk/attachments/Sexual_Expression_Resource.pdf
Feel free to leave more tips and or questions about having this conversation with young people and children!
