Consent can and should be taught from a young age and continuously reinforced. An easy example of this is respecting a child's right to decide if they want a type of physical touch (such as kissing or hugging friends or relatives).
It’s important to model and teach respecting other people’s boundaries and also be clear that the child or young person is allowed to say what their boundaries are, and know that they’ll be listened to. This is equally relevant for people with profound and multiple learning disabilities (PMLD). For example during a pad change or enteral feed, allowing time for the young person to respond to questions in their own way, and time after the question before undertaking an activity (e.g. can I change your pad now” and include a pause afterwards… does that make sense?).
When it comes to sex itself, it’s important to emphasise that consent is necessary for all sexual activities. Sex is not just one thing and it can mean different things to different people. The key to consent is ask people if they are enjoying themselves, and look out for body language such as smiling. If you are unsure whether someone is enjoying themselves then you should stop and ask.
Everyone has a right to say ‘no’ at any time and just because you have consented to one type of sex, or sexual activity does not mean that you have consented to others.
The legal definition of Consent in relation to sexual activity is: A person consents if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. At Brook we explain this using a consent triangle.
Choice: "I want to have sex, and so does the person I am having sex with…”
Freedom: “I am free to choose the type of sex I want and how I want it, and so is the person I am having sex with…”
Capacity: “I fully understand what I am choosing to do, and so does the person I am having sex with…”
Nobody can consent to have sex on behalf of another person and having sex with someone lacking mental capacity is under the Sexual Offences Act 2003. However it is important to remember that just because someone lacks capacity to make certain decisions in their life does not mean they automatically lack capacity to consent to sex.
Accessible sex education and using language tailored for the individual is essential for anyone to understand consent and therefore have capacity to consent to sex.
Some videos to help explain consent!
Let's talk about Sex and Consent - youtube.com/watch?v=JnhGqSU...
Tea and Consent - youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxV...
What is sexual consent (British sign language) -youtube.com/watch?v=Q10Pwd7...
We have a Brook Learn module (Free e-learning platform) on consent - learn.brook.org.uk
