Scared: Hello. My son is almost 13 and... - Melanoma Caregivers

Melanoma Caregivers


Georistian profile image

Hello. My son is almost 13 and we found a mole on the back of his leg that looks really bad. We went to our clinic doctor and her first reaction scared the **** out me when she said this is bad you need to see derm. We have an appoinmtment with derm on January 7 but I am going insane waiting for this appoinrment. I realize nothing is official yet, but I am so scared and stressed I just wanted to join this group to hopefully meet some people I can talk to who might be able to help me, offer tips about their first days and weeks of this journey, and just maybe find a little comfort and a moment of peace through this. I have no idea what to do and like I said Im scared. Thank you.

14 Replies

Don’t worry until there’s something to worry about.. take the next week or so to calm your nerves. The anticipation of the appointment I’m sure is getting to you.. just breathe, don’t think the worst. The fact the doctor made you feel that way before knowing what it actually is, is really unprofessional.. dermatologists are the people you need to listen to. I’m sure the clinic doctor wasn’t qualified to tell you what it may be or is. So don’t worry ❤️ you can find comfort here, when I first started my journey these wonderful people helped me and gave me hope. Don’t go googling anything, it will only make things worse (I did that and it was not good). Just try and breathe, and wait for the professional to tell you. Could be a funky looking mole that they can remove no problem. Please stay in touch and let us know what happens on the 7th ❤️

missyrand profile image


What a good parent you are seeing something unusual and moving forward swiftly to seek professional guidance. Waiting is hard, and doing whatever is in your skill set to distract yourself, calm yourself, and enjoy holiday time is worth directing your energies toward.

As KellyOd said, until you see the dermatologist and get biopsy results, you are going to be in the "inbetween" place. Once you have basic professional information then you can form questions (we all recommend writing them down so you don't feel like you are keeping a hamster on a wheel in your brain) and do research. If the hamster is already spinning, go ahead and write down your questions. Then take them with you to the appointments to scan for applicability at the Jan. 7 appointment. some may not be able to be answered until labs are performed (blood work possibly, and if the mole is removed then there will be biopsy results to be interpreted and treatments recommended).

While this forum focuses on persons with melanoma and their caregivers, we know that odd looking moles can be everything from an odd looking mole, to basal or squamous cell skin cancer, to melanoma, and every stage inbetween. We will be here. Even some skin things I was certain looked highly suspicious have turned out to be nothing when biopsied.

Peace and health to you and yours,


I agree with Kelly. If there is one thing I learned it is that worry doesn’t change the outcome good or bad. It just wastes energy and makes you miserable. It may turn out to be nothing. Hope for good news. That’s the best thing to focus on right now.

Hi georistian

My cousin who had a very ugly mole, we thought, that scared us so much we got her to my sister’s oncologist immediately after finding It. the dr thought it was bad too only to have the Derm tell us all it was a spider bite. Remain diligent but positive for your son and know that we are here and hoping to hear good news from you after the 7th:).

We are here for you.


I agree with everyone above. Don’t worry until there is something to worry about it. Enjoy your sons time off school, and Have fun! We are all here for you.


Thank you everyone for your support. I have been trying very hard to remain positive and not think too much about everything but sometimes it is just so overwhelming. I am really afraid for whats going to happen and I know my son is scared too.

How did your appointment go?

Georistian profile image
Georistian in reply to kellyOd

Hello. I thought I wrote an update reply but I must not have actually posted it. Anyway the appoinment was ok I guess, they did remove the mole. We have to wait to the 21st for the results and the doctor really didnt give us a good feeling or a bad one, just sort of neutral I guess. I wish he could have been more reassuring, I do understand but Im also really stressed out. Thank you for asking. I will keep you guys updated.

missyrand profile image
missyrandAmbassador in reply to Georistian

I think most of us would affirm that waiting is super stressful, and using whatever tools you have to be positive, distract yourself from anxiety, and live into each day are goals we all try to have and work at to achieve.

Keeping you in our hearts,


Following up with you all and we had our results appointment today. No cancer!! Thankfully. It is something that looks like a melonoma, but once tested it showed that it was not! So grateful and thank you to everyone here who offered such support!

That is great news!

Wonderful news!

missyrand profile image

FANTASTIC news! Keep up the good work in encouraging your son to pay attention to changes in his body (#GetNaked), to use sunscreen, hats, and shade seeking behavior to maintain his health.

We are all so glad that you got a biopsy done to determine what was going on.


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