Frozen in Fear: Hi All, So, I am here... - Melanoma Caregivers

Melanoma Caregivers

Frozen in Fear

Bigsister3
Bigsister3

Hi All,

So, I am here because I find myself unable to make that dermatology appointment for my mom. Sadly, my family has a history of Melanoma, my maternal uncle died 15 years ago from Melanoma, my second maternal uncle has melanoma but is vigilant and my younger sister died this year from Melanoma. I just found two very ugly moles on my mother's back and have told her to make her appointment. She hasn't and I find myself back when my sister was ill and wouldn't go to the doctor until I made the appointment. It has been one month and she hasn't gone and I haven't made the appointment and I now realize it is fear immobilizing me. I am not sure I can do this again but I know if I don't make the appointment and take her she won't go. Somehow writing this to you and crying again, lol, it is all I do on this site. I now live in constant fear about my mom and my kids and have not gone to do the genetic testing I keep saying I will do to make sure my kids are okay. Gosh, writing it down kind of makes it real. This was also the same time of year we found out about my sisters melanoma, isn't it funny that I didn't put all of this together until I started writing this, hmm my first aha moment. I would like to thank Joedamico for his post which made me start thinking about my mom, without it, I might still be burying my head.

19 Replies
oldestnewest
Hidden
Hidden

It sounds like you have a lot of experience with this disease Big sister. I know it’s scary, but I hope you find the courage to make the call. We never really know what it is until we get them checked out. It could be nothing or it could be something. Good luck sweetie!

Bigsister3
Bigsister3
in reply to Hidden

Thank you, sent the appointment request after my post. I will keep you all posted.

kellyOd
kellyOd
in reply to Bigsister3

You are brave. Take the steps... don’t catch yourself in the “what ifs” you are stronger than you know

Bigsister3
Bigsister3
in reply to kellyOd

Thanks so much Kelly, I feel better now that I have taken that first step.

missyrand
missyrandAmbassador
in reply to Bigsister3

Bigsister3:

Bravery is stepping up even when you are terrified.

We are all super proud of you.

I'm glad this space let you "say out loud" what's been in your head, and gave you the freedom to then take action.

missy

MIssy, thanks for always being here when I am about to crumble.

missyrand
missyrandAmbassador
in reply to Bigsister3

Bigsister3, I'm so grateful for you and this community.

deeply grateful.

Bigsister3
Bigsister3
in reply to Hidden

Wish you were all nearby, I have just made a blueberry crumble, chocolate banana bread and now working on cinnamon rolls. I guess I take my stress out in baking:) Have a great week everyone and special thoughts to Joe!

kellyOd
kellyOd
in reply to Bigsister3

Where are you located? I can live vicariously through you! LOL

Bigsister3
Bigsister3
in reply to kellyOd

northern suburbs of Chicago:)

missyrand
missyrandAmbassador
in reply to Bigsister3

cooking and baking therapy are awesome!

We all get stuck. If you can break the stalemate you'll feel better. And there may be good news on the genetic testing. We were relieved to find out my husband's melanoma won't pass to our sons. You may hear that too.

Big sister, Wow, I am so sorry you have had to deal with so much melanoma in your immediate family. I can only imagine how frightening that all can be. I am so glad you have made the appointment for your mom. You can’t help what you don’t know. Your family is lucky to have you, and yet I know there is anything else you wish you were doing for your family, this is important, and you are making a difference. In writing to you I am realizing that my husband has never done genentic testing and my daughter has had 2 severely atypical moles removed. So I need to ask the doctor to order genetic testing for him, for my daughter, and grandchildren. Thank you for bringing my attention to this. We all can help each other so much here. I will be praying for your mother, and will be following to see how things are going.Michele

Thank you so much for everyone’s support. My mom’s appt was today and good news, all the spots I was worried about were nothing and only one spot had to be biopsied so we will know in about a week but it may just be basal and now I can stop worrying about the ugly spots:). Thank you all for getting me off my butt. Now just the genetic testing. I hope everyone has a great week!

ThT is good news. Remember to keep taking your mom for annual skin checks now. Merry Christmas

Michele

Yes for all of us:). Merry Christmas

missyrand
missyrandAmbassador
in reply to Bigsister3

Have you heard back on the single biopsy taken?

Peace

missy

Hi missy. Yes thankfully it was nothing. Thank you for thinking of us:)

missyrand
missyrandAmbassador
in reply to Bigsister3

REALLY happy to hear this news!

missy