Keep Informed

At age 28, my son lost his battle with melanoma. It is imperative that you keep informed and tell you doctor to keep YOU informed of your loved one's medical status and whether or not they are responding to treatment. If you don't ask, they may not tell you. That's what happened to us so ask questions and make sure your doctor knows you want to know what's going on--good or bad.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear about your son. My son lost his battle at age 24. I had his reports and asked tons of questions. In the end, we all realized, nothing was going to keep him here with us. I advocated on the importance of sun safety now and awareness.

  • We too, are involved in promoting awareness for sun safety. Our son was a lifeguard for two summers at college. I wish I knew then what I know now.

  • Hi, my son was diagnosed several years ago and it metastasized two years ago. Since he is an adult I am not in control of his treatment , but he does allow us to come to visits. He received immuntheraphy treatment at MSK, with several side effects. I am not comfortable speaking to his doctor in front of him and not sure how to approach the questions I have. He is NED his last visit was 6 months ago and now the doctor is having him come 4 months. He is BRAF positive and I have read a lot of articles and am just worried that something showed in his last blood work to worry them. Should I call the office and ask or wait until his appointment in September. I feel like I am walking on egg shells here all the time.

  • I would ask your son if it was okay to ask the doctor questions with or without him there. That way, you could call and at least speak to the doctor's nurse about your concerns. Without his permission though, they won't talk to you at all. Also, is your son unmarried? If so, that would designate you as the default surrogate if he ever found himself in a position where he couldn't make decisions for himself. He can ask for you to be designated for that task in the medical record as well.

  • Thank you for your response, I will make it a point to become his surrogate.